Get your dunce hats out, Fittit, it's time for your weekly Stupid Questions Thread.
Post your question - stupid or otherwise - here to get an answer. Anyone can post a question and the community as a whole is invited and encouraged to provide an answer. Many questions get submitted late each week that don't get a lot of action, so if your question didn't get answered before, feel free to post it again.

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So, what's rattling around in your brain this week, Fittit?
As per this thread, the community has asked that we keep jokes, trolling, and memes outside of the Moronic Monday thread. Please use the downvote / report button when necessary.

Hi everyone,
I guess this will be more of a rant than a question, but I need to know. Before I had my daughter I was a very creative person. I would paint large scale paintings, make comic book type of story telling thorough art, write stories and so on. I had a lot of artistic outlets and a lot of ideas. For my stories and the comics I had came up with extensive backstories and could spend hours just thinking about the story progression in my head. All of this I did as a hobby, after my day job and was extremely happy.
As I got pregnant I knew that with motherhood I will not have the same amount of time for my hobbies. I was absolutely fine with that, and was ready to put this on a back burner to be there for my daughter. But I knew that one day, when she will be a bit bigger and I will have some free time I would return to my art.
Now my daughter is almost 2. I have around 2 hours a day of potential free time to do what ever I want. But when i go in my craft room and sit down to sketch or open Word doc to continue to write my story, my mind is blank. I can not come up with a single new idea. I can not make my mind produce an idea for a new painting. Before I used to be able to visualize all the details of it in my head. I can’t imbed myself in world of my story to organically imagine what my characters will do next. And it is truly terrifying me.
Is it possible that I lost all my creativity and it will never come back? Any advice from fellow creatives that had children? This feels like the longest art block i ever had and that i will not reemerge out of it.

You've probably all heard about the reddit 3rd party cobtroversy, but passionformapping isn't going to accept posts on june 12th until june 14th. If you post anything, it will be saved on my laptop and posted on june 15th. In case you haven't heard, i copied this directly from comedyheaven
We’re going dark June 12th
Reddit making stupid financial decisions and killing their platform is nothing new, we’ve all been through this before. We’re going dark June 12th for a bit.
What’s going on?
A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you’re not a mobile user and don’t use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn’t only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.
What’s the plan?
On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren’t able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn’t something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn’t the goal, and it isn’t the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they’ve broken, we’ll use the community and buzz we’ve built between then and now as a tool for further action.
What can you do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post. 2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at /ModCoord. 3. Boycott and spread the word…to Reddit’s competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support! 4. Don’t be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible. 

Further reading
https://www.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/
https://www.reddit.com/apolloapp/comments/13ws4w3/had_a_call_with_reddit_to_discuss_pricing_bad/
https://old.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/1401qw5/incomplete_and_growing_list_of_participating/
https://www.reddit.com/SubredditDrama/comments/1404hwj/mods_of_rblind_reveal_that_removing_3rd_party/
https://www.reddit.com/redditdev/comments/13wsiks/api_update_enterprise_level_tier_for_large_scale/jmolrhn/?context=3

Demographics: Asian (maybe pacific islander too I've seen filipino both considered as asian or pacific islander, for malay i dont really see any conflict ab it online but for the malay people ik some identify as pacific islander, others as asian) Female, Upper-middle income (family has 4 dependents if that plays into anything), georgia, legacy at UIUC and UChicago (idk if they consider it tho)
Intended Major(s): Biomedical for most colleges and either bioengineering or mech engineering at UGA
ACT/SAT/SAT II: Taking ACT in July but based of practice so far I'm expecting anywhere from 31-33, SAT is currently a 1390 superscore (reading score is probably gonna go up after June SAT tho, rn 720 bc i had to skip a couple questions bc proctor accidentally used a broken clock so time management was rly bad, math prob not going up, if anyone has advice on sat math please lmk i keep practicing and i do so much better on practices (700s) vs the actual sat (600s) so im kinda confused on what i might be doing wrong bc usually i feel like the sat went just like the practice and boom bad score)
UW/W GPA and Rank: 4.0/4.0 UW, 4.2 W, 45/825 (top 5% at school and the state)
Coursework: All Honors/Gifted courses throughout HS, 7 APs by end of HS: APHUG 5, Bio 5, Chem (awaiting score, expecting 4), USH (self-study, awaiting score, expecting 4-5), Calc BC (senior year), Phys C (senior year), US Gov (senior year), Macroecon (senior year), maybe self-study either ap lang or ap lit senior year as well idk which one will be more worth it tho
Awards:
2nd in state TSA Photographic Technology (national qualifier)
4th in nation TSA Digital Video Production
9th and 4th respectively in state TSA Engineering Design (national qualifiers) - developed designs for a moldable bioplastic (competed at the national level for this, club advisor forgot to tell us how we placed, def not in the top 10 tho) and a solar-powered nanocrystal radiation detector (also qualified for nationals with 4th but couldn't go due to club financial difficulties and not enough people eligible to compete to make the fees worth it)
Honorable Mention in county science fair - developed a moldable bioplastic to address the concerns of current-day bioplastics
Academic Letter: 9, 10, 11, expecting to letter senior year as well
Orchestra Letter: 9, 11 (took orchestra for one sem only in 10 to fit in a language and 2 sem was required to letter) expecting to letter in senior year as well
Certificates of merit: one from the state, another from the county for achievement bc of placing 2nd in a state competition
Extracurriculars: pretty good but idt their considered exceptional for many of the schools I'm applying to
TSA - Secretary (12) - for anyone that doenst know what this is, its a club based off of competition events around STEAM topics and careers; i kept track of all meetings, organized files and paperwork, in charge of creating/handling forms and sign-ups, filled out some paperwork, Event Lead (11) - organized and led meetings for several competitive events by facilitating stuff like conversation and cooperation among team members, served as a student advisor for certain events, roles from this role will be maintained as secretary
Green Team - Co-President (12), VP (11), Head o. Communications (10), Shadow Officer (9) - in charge of organizing and planning meetings and various events, managed communication between officers and sponsors through emails and social media, as of rn me and co pres are in charge of finding a new sponsor
Crochet Club - Co-President (12), VP (11), Founder (10) - same duties as listed with Green Team, helped teach members how to crochet and gave out advice on crochet
Crochet - tutored others in crochet, had a crochet business in 9-10 grade (had to stop in 11 because it got in the way of school), have a passion project for crochet in the form of an instagram account documenting projects and my crochet journey, potentially might start a non-profit but still figuring out details for if its plausible for me
Viola - played for 7 years so far, highest level orchestra class, section leader (we didn't really count section leaders as just first and second chair in my class), private lessons, alternate position at Emory Youth Symphony (one of the top state orchestras), tutored viola for 3 years (unsure if continuing next year because new orchestra teachers)
Photography - self taught myself photography, been doing it for 7 years, passion project in the form of a private senior year dump on insta comprised of various pictures from the year, designed to showcase the chaos and ups and downs of the senior year experience with pictures for everyday until graduation (styles ranging from professional to looks like a toddler took this), entered my work into several competitions, am currently working on reviving my school's photography club
Creative Writing - write poems in my free time sometimes, had a work published in my schools literary magazine
Work (Paid) - cashiebarista at a boba place
General member for NHS, Beta, AASO, and SWENext
100-150 volunteer hours (could be more could be less but the lady in charge of hours at my school has not responded to the last 5 emails i've sent over the year asking about how many I have)
Essays/LORs/Other:
Common App Essay - solid 7/10 averaging the ones i've started, language arts teacher last year told me I'm one of the strongest creative writers she has and she's very tough on writing. I have what i think might be good topics (might be generic tho in terms of my demographic), I've started on multiple essays for my strongest topics: red and the multiple meanings it carries (i.e. culture, events, people, memories, objects), being torn between my passion for the arts vs academics (as my ecs lean heavy on the arts so that addresses that a bit) and how that divide affects my relationship with those, or my tumultuous history with instruments and my cultures effect on that relationship
LORS:
11th LA teacher - she's my school mom and I love her sm, she's seen me really grow in my writing (and as a person) and has helped me to be able to get more creative with it as well. Whenever I need god advice she's one of the first people I turn to and she's probably my most trusted adult at school; I can ask her about pretty much anything and she won't judge (i'm able to talk with her ab my mental health and how school's been affecting it which I can't really talk ab it to my parents because they don't really believe that much in mental health if its not something obvious), we're pretty close and i even got the chance to write something for her wedding as well, she's definitely going to be a teacher that I'm gonna visit a lot senior year
ap chem teacher - she's seen me really grow as a person over the year and out of all my teachers, she especially can testify to my curiosity, drive to learn, and my determination/dedication as she knows i've stayed up late many nights so i could get good calculations and pre/post-lab questions (i'm surprised i didn't drive her crazy with the sheer amount of stuff i asked too), we're pretty close and i also tie-dyed a onesie for her upcoming baby
Note: my schedule got really messed up in junior year so I wasn't able to take many aps then so trying to make up for it with senior year (considering the self studied ap i did, I'm around 2-3 aps behind most of the top students at my school so my ranking is thus a lot lower than it could be, school offers around 20 aps but many are blocked behind prereq classes), schedule resulted in me taking senior year science in junior year as well an additional credit of Chinese instead of another AP (now at 3 years of Chinese, conversational level)
Schools: going for the ivies and JHU are considered me shotgunning I'm pretty sure considering my ecs lol
Idk which admission path yet so if anyone has any advice on deciding which admissions path would be most beneficial for me, that would be greatly appreciated: JHU (idt its legacy but i have several aunts and uncles that have attended), Cornell, UIUC (legacy, leaning towards EA), UChicago (legacy from grad school, admission path and if i even submit an application is hinging on how creative the writing prompts are gonna be), UPenn
EA: UGA, Georgia Tech
RD: MIT, UMich, Georgia State University, Kennessaw State

​
https://preview.redd.it/xbbmvwk05y2b1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=116c1a4c80219604524cc4a321c8086cdb93a5a7
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This subreddit will be joining in on the June 12th-14th protest of Reddit's API changes that will essentially kill all 3rd party Reddit apps.

What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What's the plan?

On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.

What can you do as a user?

• Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
  
• Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join the coordinated mod effort at /ModCoord.
  
• Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
  
• Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.
  

What can you do as a moderator?

• Join the coordinated effort over at /ModCoord
  
• Make a sticky post showing your support, A template has been created here you can use or modify to your liking, and be sure to crosspost it to /ModCoord.
  

Thank you for your patience in the matter,
-Mod Team

When it comes to creating a cozy and inviting bedroom, one of the key elements to consider is the choice of a divan bed and its accompanying headboard. These essential pieces of furniture not only provide support and comfort but also add a touch of style and elegance to your bedroom decor. In this comprehensive guide, we will delve into the world of divan beds and headboards, exploring their benefits, various types, materials, and design options. Whether you're looking to revamp your bedroom or searching for the perfect sleeping arrangement, this article will equip you with all the knowledge you need to make an informed decision.

Why Choose a Divan Bed?

Comfort and Support

A divan bed is known for its exceptional comfort and support. The sturdy base and mattress combination offer excellent stability, ensuring a restful night's sleep. The base acts as a solid foundation, providing optimum support to the mattress, resulting in enhanced comfort and reduced pressure points. With a divan bed, you can wake up refreshed and rejuvenated, ready to take on the day.

Storage Solutions

One of the standout features of divan beds is their practicality. Many models come with built-in storage options, such as drawers or ottomans, maximizing the use of space in your bedroom. These clever storage solutions are perfect for keeping your belongings organized and minimizing clutter. Say goodbye to unnecessary bedroom mess and hello to a clean and tidy sleeping environment.

Versatility in Design

Divan beds offer endless design possibilities, allowing you to personalize your bedroom according to your taste and style. From luxurious upholstered options to sleek and modern designs, there's a divan bed to suit every aesthetic preference. Additionally, the headboard plays a crucial role in the overall look and feel of the bed. It serves as a focal point and can transform the entire ambiance of the room. With a wide range of headboard styles, fabrics, and finishes available, you can create a bed that perfectly complements your decor.

Exploring Divan Bed Types

Open Spring Divan Beds

Open spring divan beds are a popular choice due to their affordability and comfort. They consist of a system of interconnected springs, which provide even support and distribute weight evenly across the mattress. While open spring divan beds offer good value for money, they may not provide the same level of durability as other options.

Pocket Spring Divan Beds

Pocket spring divan beds are a step up in terms of comfort and support. Each spring is individually housed in a fabric pocket, allowing them to move independently. This feature ensures that the mattress adapts to your body shape and provides targeted support. Pocket spring divan beds are particularly beneficial for couples, as the movement of one partner is less likely to disturb the other.

Memory Foam Divan Beds

If you prioritize pressure relief and body contouring, a memory foam divan bed might be the perfect choice for you. Memory foam mattresses conform to your body's shape, providing optimal support and alleviating any pressure points. They are also excellent at isolating motion, making them ideal for light sleepers or those sharing a bed.

Hybrid Divan Beds

Hybrid divan beds combine the best of both worlds by incorporating different mattress technologies. These beds often feature a combination of pocket springs and memory foam layers, offering the benefits of both support and comfort. Hybrid divan beds are a great option for individuals who desire the responsiveness of springs and the contouring effect of memory foam.

Selecting the Perfect Headboard

Upholstered Headboards

suede, or linen, allowing you to choose a texture that matches your style. These headboards often feature padding, providing added comfort and a cozy feel. Upholstered headboards are versatile and can be customized to fit any bedroom decor, making them a popular choice among homeowners seeking a touch of sophistication.

Wooden Headboards

For a more classic and timeless look, wooden headboards are an excellent option. They come in various types of wood, such as oak, pine, or walnut, each with its distinct grain and finish. Wooden headboards add warmth and character to a bedroom, and their durability ensures they will stand the test of time. Whether you prefer a rustic, traditional, or contemporary aesthetic, there's a wooden headboard to suit your taste.

Metal Headboards

Metal headboards offer a sleek and modern aesthetic to any bedroom. With intricate designs and elegant curves, they can become a focal point and add a touch of glamour. Metal headboards are available in different finishes, including chrome, brass, or iron, allowing you to create a look that complements your overall decor theme. These headboards are not only visually appealing but also durable and easy to maintain.

Divan Bed Size Considerations

When choosing a divan bed and headboard, it's important to consider the size that best suits your needs. Divan beds are available in various sizes, including single, double, king, and super king. Assess the dimensions of your bedroom and ensure there's enough space to accommodate the bed and any additional furniture comfortably. Additionally, the height and width of the headboard should be proportionate to the bed size, creating a visually balanced and harmonious look.

Maintaining and Caring for Divan Beds and Headboards

To ensure the longevity and pristine condition of your divan bed and headboard, it's essential to follow proper maintenance and care practices. Here are a few tips to keep them looking their best:

1. Regularly vacuum or brush the headboard to remove dust and debris.
2. For upholstered headboards, spot clean any stains or spills immediately using a mild detergent and water.
3. Rotate the mattress periodically to even out wear and prolong its lifespan.
4. Follow the manufacturer's instructions for cleaning and maintaining the divan bed base.
5. Avoid placing the bed in direct sunlight to prevent fabric and wood from fading.
6. Use mattress protectors and bed linen to keep the bed clean and protect it from spills or accidents.
7. Check and tighten any loose screws or fittings on the headboard regularly.

By implementing these simple care practices, you can extend the life of your divan bed and headboard, ensuring they remain in top-notch condition for years to come.

Conclusion

A divan bed with a carefully chosen headboard can transform your bedroom into a sanctuary of comfort and style. The combination of a supportive base, comfortable mattress, and aesthetically pleasing headboard creates a harmonious sleep environment that promotes relaxation and rejuvenation. Whether you opt for an open spring, pocket spring, memory foam, or hybrid divan bed, each offers unique benefits to suit individual preferences. Similarly, the selection of an upholstered, wooden, or metal headboard allows you to add your personal touch to the overall design. Remember to consider the size and maintenance requirements when making your choice. With the information provided in this guide, you are well-equipped to make an informed decision and create the bedroom of your dreams.
So, embrace the comfort and style of divan beds and headboards, and elevate your sleep experience to new heights. Visit https://bedsdivans.co.uk for more inspiration, expert advice

Don't Let Reddit Kill 3rd Party Apps!

What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What's the plan?

On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.
What can you do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
   
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at /ModCoord- but please don't pester mods you don't know by simply spamming their modmail.
   
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
   
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.
   

Don't Let Reddit Kill 3rd Party Apps!

What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What's the plan?

On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.
What can you do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
   
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at /ModCoord.
   
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
   
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.
   

One day I was hiking along a small mile long trail and it was an ordinary weekend and a nice sunny day. I knew the weather was going to be nice today so I decided to go for a hike and I drove to my nearest state park and once I got out of my car I smelled the nice fresh air of the outdoors and then I saw a small one mile trail and decided to go on it I walked a while on the trail and while I was walking on the trail I heard the peaceful sounds of the birds chirping and I saw the beautiful forest and the beauty of mother nature around me as I was walking near the end of the trail and I was greeted by a blocked off gravel path and a sign saying please do not go on this path hikers are not allowed on this path 500 dollar fine if caught walking on it.
I was curious when I saw this and I looked around to see If anyone was around me and I saw that no one was around me and I then jumped the fence that was blocking the gravel path I was finally walking on the forbidden gravel path and I got a rush out of it knowing I was doing something forbidden. On this so called forbidden path I looked around me to see if there was any park rangers I of course did not see any. I then kept walking on the gravel path and I was walking for a while and I kept seeing signs telling me to go back and stop walking on this path of course I ignored the signs and kept walking.
I looked at my clock and saw it was getting late and I was starting to get worried because the park is closing soon and the park rangers usually check the park to see if anyone is still in the park at closing time and If I got caught that means I would get fined 500 dollar so my paranoia made me to look around me to see if there were any park rangers around me there were none around and that gave me sigh of relief. I kept walking and it was really starting to get dark and I heavily searched my bag to see if I had a flash light I found a small dim flash light in my bag but it was bright enough to see around me but as I looked around to see I thought I had saw something in the corner of my eye of course it scared me a bit but I shrugged it off as my mind playing tricks on me. I then heard the wind howling and I thought I could hear something faint in the wind as I was listening.
I at first thought my mine was playing tricks on me and I kept listening I found out my mind was not playing tricks on me I was hearing voices in the wind and the voices were telling me to go back and to get off the forbidden path. I looked around to see that no one was there,was I hallucinating? I was walking and for a while I did not hear anything but then the wind started to howl again and I heard "please go back it's not safe". I was shaken up by this so I looked around me to see that no one was there I was for sure I heard someone. I then kept seeing stuff in the corner of my eye again and I thought I saw a ghostly figure for a second but every time I looked they were gone. I then once again started to hear the wind howling and I began to hear voices again and I kept hearing "go back go back get off the gravel path". At this point dawn was starting to come and the sky was starting to turn brighter and I saw something in the distance it was some sort of mansion me being the curious and adventurous I was happy to explore what ever this mansion was. I proceed to approach the mansion and as I was walking to it the wind began to howl very violently and the wind gust were very strong and it almost knocked me over my feet.
I began to hear "please go back go back do not go in there". I of course was too curious about the mansion to listen to what the voices were saying. I then opened the front door of the mansion and I walked in and saw that the place was old and was falling apart the wooden boards were rotting away and it smelled like mildew. I knew by the looks of this place it was abandoned and no one lived there. I was curious to explore this place so I walked around and I proceed to walk to the first room and I saw that there was a lot of holes in the wall and it looked torn apart, the bed was broken and the window was broken and I could tell that this place was old and rotting away. I then proceeded to the next room and I saw that there was symbols wrote with dried blood on the wall, this of course scared me bad and I jumped and I saw that there was rotting away skeletons of animals in this room, It looked like as if there was devil worshipers here. I then tried to walk to more rooms in this mansion and I saw more scary stuff. I saw that there was a warning wrote in dried blood on the walls saying whatever you do, do not go in the basement it's dangerous.
I then was curious to go in the basement of the mansion and I was the cat who could have died from their own curiosity. I then saw the door to the basement and I looked at it for a good 20 minutes, and after minutes I finally made up my mind to go open the basement door and go down there. I then proceeded to open the basement door and I then walked down the stairs and as I walked down the stairs the basement door slammed shut and I walked back up and tried to open the basement door I tried to open as hard as I could but it would not budge "shit I'm trapped in this basement and can't get out". I tried again to get the door to open I even tried pounding the door down but it did not work the door was locked shut.
I then gave up on trying to open the basement door and walked back down the stairs and I saw that the basement was huge and the was dried blood all over the walls It was crazy how much dried blood was on the walls and I was very scared I wanted to pound on the basement door again and get out of this place but I knew that would not work. I walked around some more around the basement and saw that there was more stairs it seemed as if the stairs went down to another floor. I proceeded to walk down the stairs and I got to where this floor was and I saw on this floor had a bit more dried blood on the wall then the previous floor I was on. I saw that this floor was bigger than the previous floor I was on and It was a massive room and in the corner of my eye I saw a figure of some sort and when I turned around it was not there I jump but then told myself that my mind was playing tricks on me because this basement was just so creepy.
I again saw that something was in the corner of my eye I looked around me fast and saw that no one was there. I kept walking around this floor and saw that it was full of furniture like very old stuff from what seemed to be from the 70s or 60s and they was a radio of some sort it only had AM on it and no FM. I thought to myself if I could turn on the radio but wondered if it still had worked so I pressed the button and surprised it turned on and starting working. All I heard at first was just static but then I kept listening and I could barely hear anything and I thought I heard something though the static but then I could finally hear something though the static and I hear what sounded like creepy voices in the static. I still could not hear it because there was still a lot of static on the radio and I tried to tune the radio to see if I could hear it more but nothing came out of it and I could still hear a lot of static but then after a few minutes I heard the voices again on the radio and I heard the voices louder this time and I could hear what they where saying and I heard a bone chilling sound coming from the radio a girl screaming "dad please help me I'm being tormented the beast is tormenting me please make it stop"!
My heart nearly stopped due to how scared I was. I saw that there was even more stairs that went down what seem like even another floor a 3rd floor even. I was curious and walked down the stairs and walked into the 3rd floor it even had the number 3 on it. I saw that this floor was not as big as the 2nd floor. I began to see that there was spiders on the wall but there was only of few of them on the walls and saw some more stuff it looked like there was some writing on the wall and it said the further you go down the worse it gets.
There were bricks on the walls of this floor and there was no wallpaper just bricks on the walls and I saw that there was a door to another room of some sort on this floor. I opened the door and saw that it was pitch black in this room and I walked into the room and could not see in the room so I got the flashlight from my bag and turned it on and it still was pitch black it's like this room was sucking any light away so I had to feel around the room but as I got walking around this room and feeling my way around I felt as if someone was behind me and I felt as if I was not alone in this room and the longer I stayed in the room the stronger the feeling got and tried to find my way out of the room because I felt as if someone was behind me and I felt as if someone was gently touching me and It got me scared but I then bolted and tried to find my way out of the room but could not for a few minutes and I then could hear a faint growl in my ear and I was running as fast I could and I finally found my way out of the room I was in. I slammed the door shut to the room I was in and I saw even more stairs that went down to another floor and ran down the stairs.
I was now on the 4th floor and saw that on the 4th floor there was cobwebs on the ceiling of the floor and spiders were more common than on the 3rd floor and there was more dried blood on the wall than the previous floors I was in. There was a lot more stuff on this floor and there was dining tables and chairs on this floor and it looks like as this was a restaurant from the 60s or 70s and I walked around the floor and there was cobwebs on the tables and chairs and spiders were crawling on the table but then I saw that there was a kitchen of some sort and I kept feeling as if something was behind me but the feeling was not that strong and I kept seeing stuff in the corner of my eye but when I turned I saw that nothing was there I realized that in the darker places that where less illuminated the feeling of something being behind me was there .
There were flickering lights in this place that seem as if they were about to die out. I somehow walked into a darker place in the floor and the feeling of something behind me was coming back. I felt as if something was lurking in this place and they lurked in the darker areas with less light. I saw that was of course more stairs that went down into the 5th floor. I was now in the 5th floor and holy crap this place was getting creepy there was a lot more cobwebs on this floor then there was on floor 4 and the spiders where now in big numbers and the spiders looked even bigger than before. This floor was even darker with less light. I saw that there was tables and chairs on the 5th floor just like the last one but they where on the tables but then as I looked away and looked back I saw that the chairs were now on the floor and broken for some reasons and I thought to myself this place has to be haunted. There less light bulbs that were on this floor than on the last floor and it was darker and there was less light.
Like I said in darker areas I felt as if someone was behind me and on this floor the feeling was stronger than on the last floor. I walked around and was in darker areas with less light and the feeling of someone behind me was getting stronger and stronger until I stopped walking and I listened closely and I could faintly hear a voice of some sort and it sounded creepy and I got scared and walked to a lighter area with more light and I saw something in the corner of my vision and then turned around to see a tall skinny shadow figures and it appeared to be afraid of the areas of the place with more light so I kept going around the place and saw more figures and I went into a darker area and something jumped out at me and tried to attack me and I ran to where a light bulb illumined the place and the figures stopped were scared off by the light of the light bulb and stopped attacking me because of the light.
I kept going down more floors and my god it felt like this thing was going down forever I was on the 15th floor when things really started getting bad the cobwebs where getting the point to where they are covering everything and spiders where so big to the point to where they are the size of the palm of my hand. I saw that there was little spiders in such massive numbers that something you could not see what they were because it was covered in so many spiders. On the 15th floor it was so dark that you could barely see in front of you the only reason I could see that there spiders everywhere was because there was only a few light bulbs on the floor that were dimly lit . The Odor on this floor was bad and it smelled like dead rotting corpses and so much dried blood on everything that it covered every square inch on what was on the floor and on the wall on everything and on everywhere.
I was standing under a dimly lit light and around me I would hear voices screaming "help me help I'm being tormented"! I then saw that around be where hundreds of glowing eyes around me but I felt as if I would be safe as long as if there was light around me. I stayed under the light bulb for until the eyes went away but then a few minutes later the light bulb above me went out and when that happened I knew I was in trouble and I bolted and I could not see in the dark so I bumped around everything and tripped and fell and as I fell something grabbed me and I could tell that this thing was big. It was dark and I could not see anything but I was in this what ever this thing was grip and I thrashed and tried to punch this thing but it was not budging I felt as if my life was coming to an end.
A stroke of luck happened and for some god only knows reason I escaped from what ever this thing was grip and ran as fast I could in the dark tripping over objects and then getting back up. I was in the dark and saw a dim light in the distance and I got closer to see it was a dimly lit light bulb I felt safe under this light bulb and the thing did not go near it. I went down more floors and on floor 18 is when some very scary stuff started happening at this point spiders where the size of cats and the cob webs where so thick that it was getting hard to walk through. I was getting attacked by spiders I was fighting them off it was getting to the point where I was getting overwhelmed by them. I found a baseball bat on the floor and used it to beat the spiders and kill them.
I heard screams everywhere and they were ear piercing. All I could hear was "I'm being tormented help"! I then realized that there was water on the floor about an inch of it. I kept walking around and I kept hearing the sloshing of water on the floor as I walked I tried to turn on my flashlight because it was dark but the darkness of the room was so bad that it sucked all the light away from the flash light. I was walking and a very nasty smell hit my nose, it was the smell of rotting corpses but the smell was very strong and I began to throw up and nearly passed out. I felt as this place I was in was filled with corpses and that was confirmed when I saw a very dim light in the distance and when I went to it I was hundreds of rotting corpses and some of them where in the very thick cobwebs hanging with web wrapped around them like mummies.
I looked down and saw that the so called inch of water was not water at all it was an inch of blood filled with maggots and flies swarming them by the thousands. I looked and saw a corpse and I kept staring at it and saw that it had long flowing blond hair and was wearing a pink backpack with yellow stars and had a purple shirt that said lets go tigers and that when it hit me like a truck and tears started flowing down my face this was my daughter she is dead and was smelly rotting corpse that mostly been mummified. My daughter was 16 when she went missing and her school mascot was a tiger and her name was Amy and she had a pink backpack with stars. I miss her so much and if she was alive by now she who have been an adult at the age of 18. I then look to see at her backpack to confirm if it was her and I saw the name Amy written on her backpack I confirmed that this was in fact my daughter. I kept digging in the backpack to see what was in it and found her phone it turned on with 45 percent battery and no password was on it.
I could no longer hold it in anymore and the tears flowing down my face become full blown sobbing. My daughter is just a mummified dead corpse. I took my daughters phone out of her backpack and put it in my pocket and as I was doing that is when I heard it a low pitched growl and a very creepy one and then I froze for a solid minute and then heard a another growl and I tried to be as quiet as I could and heard the sound of water sloshing around but that of course was not water but it was blood sloshing around. I kept hearing the blood sloshing as if something was moving around in it and my heart was pounding very hard and I felt as this was the end of me I then realized I was in this thing's nest and I was going to be the fly in the web.
I heard the sloshing again and it sounded like it was getting closer to me and I felt a warm draft over me and that when I booked it and ran I fast as I could and ran up the stairs that was closest to me. I ran to the other floors I was now at floor 17 and I knew the thing was chasing after me. I was now hyperventilating and heart pounding I could hear roaring at the stair well I knew I had to run up to floor 1 and bust the door down as hard as I could I kept running tripping over everything in the dark and dirty as hell and covered in blood. I then ran up to the stairwell that went to floor 16 and of tripped and fell while on the stairwell to floor 16 and busted my head and blacked out and woke up in a spiderweb. I open my eyes and saw I had passed out and I was back on floor 18.
I knew I was doomed and I would never be found down here I was going to be this thing's meal a few hours had passed I kept struggling and struggling and could not get out of the web. I felt a warm draft on me and I felt as if I was being stabbed this thing was digging into me with it's fangs I felt I was done for. The pain of the thing digging it's fangs in me was unbearable and I was screaming. The thing was sucking my blood until it was dry. I was there in that web for god knows how long it had to be a very long time because I was dehydrated and very hungry. I was very weak and could not move much and could barley move my limbs but for some reason I began to slowly fall out of the web and broke free from the web and I got out of the web. I began to walk slowly to the stairwell that lead to the 17th floor and I climbed up the stairs slowly and when I was up on the 17th floor I walked around the floor for a while and I saw a place I could hide in from the thing there was a door and I open and there was a glowing light in the room I opened and the light was a light blub glowing and turned and lit up the room and I saw that I was in luck because there was 2 bottles of water on the shelfs in the small room I was in and a small bag of trail mix that was month passed its expiration date. I put a chair in front of the door so the thing would not get in.
I happily ate the trail mix and drank the 2 bottles of water and I put my ear on the door to see if I hear anything and when it was ready to go. I did not hear anything when I was putting ear my ear on the door at first but then a few hours had passed, and I heard a sniffing sound a faint growl. I tried to be as quiet as I could and hoped the chair in the door made where the thing could not get in the room with me, and I was no longer weak because I drank the water and ate the trail mix. I heard banging on the door the thing was trying to get in and get me. I had to think fast, and I saw a trap door and I opened and crawled into it as fast as I could. I was inside vents now and crawling and I heard the thing break down the door, but it was too big to get in the vents I was crawling in.
I began to crawl faster and found an exit to the vents, and it was on floor 15. I was now on floor 15 and the vents for some reason just collapsed right as when I crawled out of them, and I could not get back into the vents to get away from the thing. I heard the sound of the thing getting up to the floor I was at, and I booked it as fast as I could and ran up the stairwell to floor 14. I ran up more floors and I'm now on floor 12 and I fell as if this thing is catching up to me and I ran I fast as I could and kept running until I reached floor 11 and at floor 11 I grab a knife on the table and I kept running until I got to floor 10 and then on floor 10 I fell into a huge hole that was on the floor and the wood on the floor was rotting and I fell back into floor 11. I was catch up by the thing and was in its grasp and struggled to get out of it grasp and I then stabbed it in both of its eyes and it let go of me and it was screeching in pain. I ran back into the 10th floor and went around the hole and then went up into the others floor and at floor 7 I could hear it getting closer to me again but kept running as fast as I could and heart pounding.
I few more floors left, and I could pound the door down and get out of the basement. I was running and finally got up to floor 1 and began to violently pound down the door that was the entrance to the basement and I pounded as hard I could and I had super human strength from the adrenalin and I could hear the thing coming up the floors so I did one last super hard pound on the door with all my strength and busted a hole in the door and walked out the door and at last I was no longer in the basement of this damn mansion. I then ran out of the mansion and was finally outside and I kept running on the gravel path as fast as I could and then for a while, I finally found the fenced I had jumped and got over it and was back on the small 1 mile trail and collapsed on the ground where people saw me drenched in blood.
I then woke up in the hospital and the doctor said I was lucky and almost died from severe blood loss and I realized I had my daughter's phone in my pocket and cops were in the hospital room where I was at. I also saw my wife there too and she said where were you I called the cops and your boss said you were not at work, and he then called cops and I went all over the city looking for you and stayed up and it was on the news of you going missing and I'm glad you're okay and you are alive. I told them everything of what happened I told about the thing in the basement of abandon mansion in the woods and I would never go back to that place.
My wife told me her story and she told me that she looked everywhere in town for me and her first thought I was at the bar with my friends but then saw I was not there she said it was getting dark and I had to be home to or she would call the cops and she said I did not answer the phone and she got worried and called the cops. The cops came and began to search for me, and days had passed, and they did not find me so a whole search group came and looked for me and she said she looked around the city and she tried to look for me at the small park near the house and did not find me.
She said a cop was at a state park and saw a passed out person on the ground at a 1 mile trail which was me and the ambulance came and picked me up and got me to the hospital and then a cop was at the hospital and realized it was me as I was waking up.
A few months had passed and I was diagnosed with ptsd and I told my therapist everything.

What's going on?
A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.
What's the plan?
On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.
What can you do?
1. Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at /ModCoord- but please don't pester mods you don't know by simply spamming their modmail.
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.

This subreddit will be joining in on the June 12th-14th protest of Reddit's API changes that will essentially kill all 3rd party Reddit apps. What's going on?
A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free. What's the plan?
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Thank you for your patience in the matter,
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Hello
Here's a thought experiment. Imagine that, in 2017, Activision did not publish Call of Duty: WWII but instead Call of Duty: Eternal. This is a story which is very much the same as what Call of Duty: WWII transpired as but with a couple of significant differences. For a start, it's not set during World War Two - it's set in a fantasy world with a 1940s/50s level of technology. A global war is raging between mankind and Orks, with the Orks having conquered great tracts of the world, and the story opening with the efforts by humanity to retake "Albion" from Ork occupation. I like to imagine the faces of Call of Duty fans when the first trailer came out and, seeing what looked like D-Day, got excited that at last the franchise was going back to its roots - only to see that the enemies are Orks and the main character is a Lenape woman.
To help with this imagining - below you'll find the full script for the first mission of Call of Duty: Eternal, based on the first mission of Call of Duty: WWII. The rest will gradually follow.
You might find it useful to follow along using this video - a walkthrough (no commentary, thank God) of the actual first mission in Call of Duty: WWII to help with visualising it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7y1bDQBEhA
Call of Duty: Eternal Mission 1 X-Day
Text slowly appears on-screen:
The world is bathed in flames.
The Ork clans, united for the first time in centuries, are on the march.
Man faces extermination.
A human skull is shown before an Ork boot comes down on it, shattering it.
Radio broadcast: With unmatched ferocity, the Ork war machine has launched its onslaught against the world… mankind faces the abyss.
The camera pans up on the Ork boot to show an Ork soldier as, behind him, Ork soldiers and tanks move through a devastated city.
Radio broadcast: As we brace for our darkest hour, we must summon our strength to be the bulwark against oppression.
Ork bombers are shown bombing London, recognisable for the Thames if not for the architecture. They are four-engine bombers, like B-17s, and the camera closes in on a propeller which shifts to a ceiling fan.
Radio broadcast: The Ork onslaught will be the greatest test we'll ever face.
The camera pans down from the ceiling fan Mona Kanti, a young Lenape woman and the protagonist, is shown joining the Imperial Armed Forces. She stands in a line in a recruitment office as a recruitment officer stamps her papers.
Radio broadcast: But face it and defeat it… we must.
To punctuate the “we must,” a sudden cut to black with the sound cut out. Then, we hear the voice of the Ork Primarch. A speech plays, meant to mirror FDR’s D-Day Prayer, with shots of the Ork war machine we’ve been hearing so much about.
Primarch: With this war we set upon a mighty endeavour.
Fade from black to show huge lines of Ork soldiers in formation, like big Nazi rallies, are shown.
Primarch: A struggle to restore our civilization…
Ork soldiers on one knee in this rally are shown, closer up, dressed in battle gear and their faces daubed in war paint.
Primarch: …and to set free a suffering people.
A view from the rear of the rally, with the vast architecture of the Primarch’s palace shown looming over it all, resembling the Palace of the Soviets.
Primarch: Our Sons. Pride of our Clans.
Another panning shot of the assembled Orks, this time from the side.
Primarch: May the Mother lead them straight and true.
An Ork mystic, on the balcony overlooking the assembly, blesses the troops with hands raised to the sky.
Primarch: The road will be glorious. Men's souls will be broken with the beauty of war.
A shot from behind the mystic, seeing the assembled troops stretching towards the horizon.
Primarch: In this time of fire and blood…
The face of one Ork soldier is shown up close.
Primarch: …we shall prevail.
With the slightest of grimaces, the Ork uses a knife – and, in the background, we see the others doing the same – to ritualistically slice his forehead and let blood trickle down.
The cutscene then shifts to the Imperial Navy ships, including battleships of a scale similar to the Super Yamato, that are heading for the beaches of Albion. Mona Kanti is writing a letter to her sister, Luna Kanti, and we hear her voice-over as we view shots of the fleet.
Kanti (narrating): Luna. Oh, I wish you could see this, sister. An armada from one horizon to the next. I turned sixteen too late to help free Ériu. But not Albion – and it’s gonna be tougher. Much tougher. You know, I think I could bear the blood, and the misery… and the Orks. But the waiting… well, that’s a whole other battle.
Inside the troopship living quarters. We are now in first-person as Kanti. Kanti is sat at a table, hanging out and talking with her squad-mates Kinsi Rei (female Somali; shaved head), Thea Adlai, (female Swedish; ginger, freckles, glasses) and Ren Tao (male Chinese). Ren Tao is eighteen – the others are all sixteen. Bunks are stretched out behind them and other soldiers, of all ethnicities and sexes, walk by throughout. Rei is holding court while playing with a knife, every now and then jabbing between her fingers.
Rei: So she asks me for my watch and I'm thinking, "what in the Nether do you want my watch for; your parents make like fifty times mine!" But I turn around, and I felt this punch. And it's cold like ice.
Some of the dialogue is drowned out by Kanti’s narration. Every now and then, Kanti glances down at her fingers as she snaps them, but whatever she’s trying to do with that isn’t happening.
Kanti (narrating): Believe it or not, I managed to make some half-decent friends in Basic. All scared as can be. But nobody’s letting on.
Rei keeps playing her knife game as she talks.
Kanti (narrating): I hated Rei when I met her – and now she's my best friend. Funny how that works. She's always looking for trouble. If there wasn't already a war on she'd be off trying to start one.
Rei offers her knife to Thea Adlai and, though we can’t hear her given the narration, seems to be asking her if she wants to try the knife game. Adlai refuses.
Adlai: Besides, I gotta keep all my fingers if I'm gonna take photo of the year.
Kanti (narrating): Adlai says she's gonna be a photographer for a fashion magazine. She’s got a good eye. Except when she takes off her glasses – then she can’t see shit.
Rei offers her knife to Kanti and Kanti turns to Ren Tao.
Kanti (narrating): Tao's the vet but, if I’m honest, he's what kokomi would call “a bit of a bumpkin.”
Ren Tao is tempted to play Rei’s knife game.
Tao: Okay, okay. Let's make this interesting.
Rei: It’s not interesting? Kanti – what’re you doing?
She says this in reference to Kanti’s finger-snapping.
Kanti (narrating): I swear I used to be able to do this…
Tao: So you keep saying.
Tao take off his talisman and dangles it in front of Rei.
Tao: Xu Yaling. Spirit of war.
Adlai: And sex, right?
Tao: Sssh. (Rei and Adlai laugh) He's had my back since Sabha. And, yeah, that’s real gold. (drops the talisman down on the table) Rei, three times in ten seconds, and he's all yours. (Sits back down)
Rei: I don't know.
Tao: Oh, you could always wimp out. That’s a choice, too.
Kanti: My money's on Rei.
Rei: Okay. Okay, I'm in.
Adlai: I can't watch.
Tao: I can.
Rei looks to Adlai.
Rei: Just time me when I tell you. Back to my story – me and my girls, we muscled our way into this chess game that the wrestling team had going. We had a bona-fide genius among us – but it was me playing. We worked out a system where she can signal to me what moves to make. You should have seen the Head Girl’s face when I took that pot. (To Adlai) You ready? That's what happens when you try to hustle a hustler. Now…
Rei plays the knife game while Adlai times her and wins the bet in a few impressive seconds.
Rei: Checkmate!
Tao: There ain’t no way!
Kanti (narrating): Tao had enough fight in him for two men.
Rei: Much obliged.
Rei offers to shake hands with Tao.
Tao: My mother told me never touch a Nube.
Rei doesn’t flinch but you can tell she’s ready to throw hands. Instead…
Rei: That's not what she said last night.
Rei winks and Tao shakes her hand.
Kanti (narrating): And enough bigotry for six.
Tao: Meh, who needs a stupid talisman anyway.
Rei: Apparently, you did. Here, have it back.
Tao: You won it.
Rei: It’s fake gold.
Tao: What? No, no, no, that’s as real as you or I.
Rei: A hustler always knows.
Tao: Ah, whatever, if it’s fake I don’t want it. I'm gonna get something better. A real trophy. You'll see.
Rei: Good luck with that.
Kanti snaps her fingers and finally produces what she wanted – a finger of flame, like a lighter, appears.
Kanti: I did it! Look, look, I did it!
Rei: Well, by Baphometh, isn’t that something?
Tao: That’s very pretty, Kanti. You’re ready to take on the Primarch, I should think.
Rei: She was always ready. Right Kanti?
Tao: You got any healing spells we could use or is it all evil magic with you?
Kanti: Well-
Rei: Oh, go on, tell him, Kanti! Tell him about that thing you can do!
Adlai: What thing?
Rei: And there’s no such thing as good and evil magic. Just good and evil people.
Kanti: It’s not that I can do it; it’s just that it happens sometimes. When someone’s dead I can kinda, you know, see into their past. But they have to of died recently. And I can’t do it with most people.
Tao: Well, we’re invading Fortress Albion, my friend. Good time to find yourself some corpses.
Rei: Maybe even your own.
Adlai: Hey, Kanti, do that spell again for the camera.
Adlai raises her camera then, seeing her watch, realizes that they are late for the mission briefing.
Adlai: Oh! Never mind, briefing’s at 18:00; we're gonna be late!
Adlai jumps up and runs from the room. The others also stand.
Tao: Run, little mouse.
Rei: I got us covered Kanti; don't worry about it (Showing the pendant to Kanti and winking). It is real gold.
As Kanti and Rei leave the living quarters, they encounter Khand, their turban-wearing sergeant, and in terms of personality very much a cranky sergeant stereotype.
Khand: Briefing's about to start; what in the Nether are you idiots doing?
Kanti (narrating): Then there's Sergeant Khand. He’s a sweetheart.
Khand: Oh, you think you're special, huh? The Orks are gonna eat you alive.
Rei: No, not me, sergeant. I’m high in salt.
Khand: Watch your lip, Rei. On me.
Khand leaves. The other two move to follow.
Rei: Since I'm obviously on a lucky streak, whatever happens, stay close. First Albion, then the Great Pale, then home in time for tea and medals. We got this, Kanti.
Scene fades out.
All of the 66th Infantry Division troops are on the deck of the ship as the rain pours down and Colonel Kitwana, a Swahili man, gives his pre-battle speech. As he does, we see the soldiers assembled watching him.
Kitwana: Today… we embark on an operation of unparalleled importance. To establish a beachhead in Albion… and roll back the Ork horde... that has terrorized the world since before many of you were born. We are all that separates the world from darkness. This is so much more than a chance to be heroes in our own lifetimes. If we prevail… our triumphs will be etched into the hearts and minds of a grateful world for untold generations. I'm talking about glory. True glory.
Kanti narrates her letter to Luna and soldiers begin to climb down the cargo net on the side of the ship into landing craft. These craft start making for the Albion coast.
Kanti (narrating): Colonel Kitwana can give a nice speech. His pep talk reminded me of the one Coach Pakwa gave us on our Mother’s Night game against Susquehanna. I'm sure you remember we lost by 67 points. (Focuses on Sokolov and Khand) Always looking over Khand’s shoulders is Lieutenant Sokolov. He's got him on a tight leash. But if Khand breaks free, we'll all get bit. Ever since I found my gift, I wanted to be like you, Luna. You've always been a tough act to follow. But I'll do my best.
Gameplay
We are now in first-person again as Kanti.
Kanti (narrating): It's now or never.
Kanti is writing in her notebook, the photo of Luna pinned to a page, as their landing craft drives for the Albion shore. Kanti is interrupted by Rei.
Rei: Hey! I wish I was coming home to her!
Kanti: That’s my sister! Just wait ‘til we hit Lutetia. Enough girls for the rest of your long life.
Rei: I’m starting to realise how far away it is.
Kanti take a quick glance at her notebook and closes it before tucking it into her pack.
Sokolov: Remember. No digging in at the shore. You advance. You need to stay low and do not bunch up. Stick to your training and you're gonna make it through.
Khand: Most of you, anyway.
Medium bombers pass by overhead, resembling the Junkers Ju 88 (in this universe known as Dragons) on a heading towards Albion.
Tao: Alright! Give em hell, boys.
Text appears across the screen.
X-DAY Lùnastal 17th, 397 NE Rheged, Northern Albion
Rei: The beaches are meant to be flattened, right?
Khand: You sound scared, Private.
Rei: No, sir.
Khand: You should be.
Driver: Hey, you! You!
Kanti turns to look at the landing craft’s driver behind her.
Driver: Got a light?
Kanti: Sure thing.
Kanti snaps her fingers a couple times and produces the flame again.
Driver: Oh – you’re one of them.
Soldier: Never trust a witch.
As the driver lights his cigarette on her finger, a bullet hits the boat’s machine gunner in the throat; he falls, flailing, with blood spurting out of his neck like in a Tarantino film. Shells start to fall.
Driver: Bastards!
Sokolov: Everyone down!
Rei: This is it!
Ork artillery lands in the grey ocean all around, spraying the craft with water. Kanti crouches with the rest of the troops.
Soldier: Watch out!
Bullets bounce off the landing craft’s armour.
Soldier: This isn’t fun!
Driver: Five hundred yards!
Another shell lands nearby and sprays the craft with water. Kanti trips but is held up by Khand grabbing her arm.
Driver: We’re gonna have to pull off!
Sokolov: No, we stay on mission! You're taking us in!
Driver: We must have drifted! I can't see the landmark!
Khand: You heard the lieutenant. Full speed!
Sokolov: Incoming!
An artillery shells blows up the neighbouring landing craft.
Soldier: By the Gods!
Sokolov: Hold tight!
An artillery shell, again, lands near the boat.
Kanti: Damn it!
Driver: Two hundred yards!
Looking up, a Dragon bomber is visible coming down with an engine on fire.
Driver: Twenty seconds!
Sokolov: Remember the plan! Get to the seawall!
Khand: Ceres! Aradove! Get the bangalore to the wire, fast! Everyone ready? Here we go!
Sokolov: Drop the ramp!
Driver: There's no cover!
Khand: That was an order, damn you! Drop it!
The ramp drops just as a landing craft consumed with flames comes crashing into theirs.
Rei: Oh, shit!
Kanti is knocked off her feet by the impact. Looking up, she watches as machine gun fire from the clifftops chops down a number of soldiers on the boat now that the ramp has been dropped. One has his head blown off and his neck is left spouting blood over Kanti as others are also cut down.
Sokolov: Over the sides! Now! Now!
Kanti follows as the survivors climb over the boat’s side. She stays underwater for a few seconds before being helped to her feet by Sokolov, spluttering.
Sokolov: I got you, child!
Just behind him, the beach is consumed by fighting and the noise of war is deafening.
Sokolov: Get your head down and keep moving!
Sokolov leads Kanti out of the surf, a burning soldier falls screaming from another landing craft and into the water, while carnage reigns all around. Bodies are floating all about and the water is red with blood.
Sokolov: Kanti; on me!
Running through the sand as explosions go off all around, artillery can be seen curling from the Ork lines towards the beach. Sokolov and Kanti hit the deck in front of some Ork tank traps.
Sokolov: Demolition team is dead! Take the bangalore and get to the seawall! We need to clear a path to the bunkers!
Kanti temporarily looks away, back to the water, and witnesses the bloodshed of soldiers dying, and a number running out of a landing craft on fire, while a warship close to shore opens fire on the coastal defences. Sokolov gets Kanti’s attention.
Sokolov: Kanti!
An explosion goes off nearby, half-soaking Sokolov’s face with gore. Someone just blew up.
Sokolov: This is your job! You got that?! Now pick up the banger!
Kanti moves the severed arm of a dead soldier to retrieve the bangalore. She looks upon the dead soldier’s corpse and, suddenly, her vision fades away and she sees his memories. This is the first of the Internal Vortex collectibles which can be found throughout the game, whereby additional lore is provided through Kanti’s ability to tap into the memories of certain corpses (human and Ork). In this case, the accessed memory tells a brief story of the soldier (Private Omid Afshani) and how he was part of a traditional military family and all his brothers have already fallen, told he would be a general someday, how he was born on a ship evacuating Persia (which goes some way to explaining why the Imperial military is so multiethnic – the whole world evacuated to the Americas) and how his last letter home from the ship told of how “I can’t wait to hear the birdsong again.”
Afterwards, she returns to lucidity.
Sokolov: Kanti! Kanti! You with me?!
Kanti: Yes!
Sokolov: You can do this!
Sokolov stands and starts running up the beach. Kanti watches after him.
Kanti: I hope so, sir!
Kanti looks at the dead soldier that was carrying the torpedo bangalore, and with one hand closes his eyes.
Kanti: Sorry.
Kanti takes the body’s R7 Remi rifle (comparable to the M1 Garand) and proceeds up the beachhead, trying not to get killed. The machine gun nests in the clifftop fortifications will open fire on the soldiers then wait for a few seconds to reload. This will be the player's chance to move up to avoid taking damage. The player moves from cover to cover – tank traps, the wreckage of vehicles such as half-tracks and light tanks, and shell craters, mostly.
Khand: Hurry before they reload! Move it!
Sokolov: Kanti! This way! Hurry! Stop and you’re dread!
Tao: Shit!
Sokolov: Those MGs are killing us! Get off the beach!
Khand: Private Kanti – get to the seawall!
Rei: Get to the seawall! I’ll meet you there!
A couple of armoured vehicles – light tanks resembling Soviet BT-7s, here called LT-5 Termites – are now also moving up the beach and providing fire support. One blows up.
Sokolov: Keep low. When there’s a break in the fire, run for it!
There’s a break in the fire – you run for it.
Sokolov: Kanti, get the bangalore!
When Kanti reaches the seawall, which is made up of a big mound of sand lined at its top by barbed fire and burning gasoline, she falls against it. Her fellow soldiers fall in alongside her or are already there. A lot of wounded are also there, being treated by medics as machine gun fire flies over their heads. Rei falls next to Kanti, her face covered in dirt and blood.
Rei: Kanti! Use the banger; I'll cover you! After we breach, keep pushing toward the bunker!
Kanti: You’re covered in blood.
Rei: It’s not mine. Focus!
Kanti sets up the torpedo bangalore, made up of two cylindrical rods, with the second able to fit inside the first. Her handling is shaky and she drops one rod. Rei picks it up for her and gives it back.
Rei: We're nearly there!
Kanti pushes the torpedo bangalore into the seawall.
Rei: Pull it! Pull it!
Kanti: Fire in the hole!
Kanti scrambles backwards and the bangalore explodes, tearing a hole in the seawall for the soldiers to pour through, dirt pouring down like rain.
Sokolov: Weapons ready! Fix bayonets!
Kanti fumbles for her bayonet and fixes it to her rifle. You can now use this as a melee weapon against enemy infantry.
Rei: Ready to see your first Ork?
Sokolov: Attack!
Sokolov leads the troops through the hole – and many, though not Sokolov, are cut down.
Rei: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Sokolov: Push forward!
After passing through the hole, you are faced with a clearing sprinkled with tank traps and barbed wire. After that, trenches, and then the bluffs with fortifications spitting machine gun fire.
Rei: Into the trench! Hurry!
Soldier: Orks!
You now face your first Ork drones as you push towards the trenches. Once you get into the trench, you slowly clear it and a mortar position, presumably losing Health as you do. Once done, you turn a corner deeper into the trenches where Rei is located.
Rei: That wound looks bad! Here, take this!
Rei throws a health pack to Kanti. The player can now call on Rei, when the squad meter fills, to add a pack for a total of four.
Kanti: Many thanks!
The player moves through the trenches, clearing out Ork drones. Friendly troops leap across the trenches. The player then gets to the end of the trenches and reaches the bluffs covered by Ork fortifications. A slope goes uphill between the bluffs but machine gun fire pins the friendly troops down and makes it impassable.
Khand: We can't advance with those MGs firing on our position!
Sokolov: Hold tight. Fire support incoming!
Khand: Kanti, mark the target!
Khand throws a canister to Kanti. Kanti catches it and throws it uphill towards the Ork bunkers. Red smoke emanates. Sokolov is shouting into a radio.
Sokolov: Kestrel, target is lit up! Hit it now and hit it hard!
Radio: Roger, we have your smoke visual. Attack run inbound.
Explosions hit the MG bunker as rockets from a trio of dive-bombing jets which resemble de Havilland Vampires (in this universe called Banshees) come in and obliterate the fortifications. The jets pass by close overhead.
Tao: That's it! Let 'em have it!
Adlai: MGs are dead!
Kanti: (laughs) They tore them to shreds!
Sokolov: Get to the top!
You and your squad move up the hill – a wounded Ork, both arms missing, stumbles from the smoke and still tries to fight by biting at Sokolov. Sokolov shoots it down.
Sokolov: Crazy bastards.
More Ork infantry advance.
Ork: I shall wear your hide as a coat!
After defeating these Orks, the player advances to the top of the hill through which additional trenches burrow.
Sokolov: Kanti; I need you and Rei to take point and clear those bunkers! Go!
Rei: Had to be us!
You move in with your squad. There are five bunkers to clear. The first has a clearing full of mortar positions, where Ork infantry defend, and there’s more firing at you from inside the bunker itself.
Sokolov: Orks are dug in. Kanti, get a grenade in that bunker!
You break into the bunker and clear it out, including the machine gun post covering the beach.
Rei: First one’s down!
Sokolov: Bunker’s clear – everyone out.
You move on. Taking the adjoining trenches, you come across an Ork Officer – larger and more heavily armoured than the Drones you’ve been fighting so far – holding a human soldier by the neck. Assuming you shoot him in the head, the only non-armoured part, he’ll go down and the soldier is saved.
Soldier: Thanks! I owe you!
If not, and your bullets bounce off the Officer’s armour, he crushes the man’s neck in his hand and comes for you.
After that, you drive on through the trenches, killing a few more Orks, before turning and entering an underground bunker. Inside, the entry is covered by a machine gun post.
Khand: MG's pinning us! Someone toss a smoke!
You can do that, or you can perhaps kill the machine gunner. Up to you. Afterwards, you drive on through the underground bunker. It’s a bit of a catacomb full of dormitories and a radio room. Eventually, you clear it.
Khand: Bunker's clear. Let's go!
Sokolov: Everybody out, bunker's clear!
You head back outside, 2 of 5 bunkers complete. You continue through the trenches, meeting fresh Orks.
Rei: There’s artillery hitting the beach! The next assault wave won’t make it!
Khand: Keep pushing! That artillery is hammering our ships!
Kanti: On it, sir! Yeah, I can do this, I can do this…
You carry on through the trench. Some Banshee jet fighters screech overhead. Reaching the entrance to the next bunker, you see a friendly – Corporal Lieu – with an F3 Inferno – a backpack flamethrower. He fires it down the bunker at unseen enemy troops before being gunned down.
Kanti: I'm going in!
Rei: Careful!
You enter the bunker – you can pick up the F3 Inferno as you do, which doesn’t last long but which is fun to use.
Ork: Come, little men!
You clear the bunker. As you reach the machine gun post, you enter into a quicktime moment. Kanti gets ambushed around a corner by an Ork soldier, who grabs her by the throat and pins her to the wall, but she jams her combat knife into his neck. Falling from his grasp, she sees the machine gunner just as a shell from a ship offshore hits the bunker dead-on and blows it, and him, to smithereens. Rei appears from the dust and helps Kanti to her feet.
Rei: Shit! Fucking Navy. Don’t they believe in us?
Returning from the machine gun nest, some Orks have shown up to try and retake the bunker. Take them out and then the bunker’s cleared.
The next bunker is just a hop from this one – you enter, at first finding nobody, before discovering an Ork pinning an Imperial soldier to the wall.
Soldier: Somebody help!
You, I should hope, kill the Ork.
Soldier: Thanks! Oh, hey, a girl…
Kanti: You wish.
You drive into the bunker, in the heart of which is a mortar position, and take out the Ork defenders. With that, the bunker is cleared.
Khand: Move up, move up!
Everyone rallies at the big steel door at the end of the bunker.
Khand: Adlai. Tao. With me. Kanti, you and Rei clear the next bunker. Rally at the top of the bluff, and for fuck’s sake try not to get yourselves killed.
You interact with the big steel door and open it, before going with Rei down some more trenches.
Kanti: Alright, Rei. One more!
Rei: We got this!
You turn a corner into a clearing before the bunker. There’s Orks both defending it on the ground and a sniper on top of the bunker itself. After dealing with this, you head inside, Rei behind you.
As you enter the bunker, Kanti is ambushed by an Ork Major – she is thrown to the floor and the Ork stands over her, pulling out a knife.
Ork: Never did fear smell so sweet.
Rei jumps onto its back and holds onto him around the neck. The Ork manages to throw Rei onto the ground before stabbing her through the belly.
Kanti: Rei! Oh, shit, no!
The Ork soldier leaves the wounded Rei, knife still sticking from her stomach, and approaches Kanti.
Ork: Stand and face me, woman. Show some honour.
Kanti stands and fights the Ork, which through its superior strength easily ends up on top of her, taking away her knife and now pushing it down towards her with both hands. Then, Kanti’s hands light up and the flames return – her whole hands are on fire. The Ork roars in pain and surprise and backs away, looking at its burned hands, before Kanti runs at him as the flames go out and tackles him to the ground. The Ork is still stronger and goes back to throttling her – but they’ve fallen near Rei, who yanks the knife out of her belly and jams it into the Ork’s chest.
Ork: The glory…
The Ork dies. Kanti climbs off and approaches Rei, who suddenly brandishes a pistol.
Kanti: Whoa, Rei…
Rei: Duck!
Kanti does so and Rei shoots the unseen Ork which was behind her. Kanti looks back to Rei, who is dealing with quite a lot of pain.
Kanti: Come on, you’re okay, you’re okay.
Rei: I can't walk.
Kanti pulls up Rei’s uniform to see her stomach – the wound is gushing blood.
Kanti: Oh, shit…
Rei: That bad?
Kanti: It’s not great.
Rei: Would you mind getting me out of here?
An explosion, presumably artillery – Kanti looks down the bunker to see it shudder, rubble falling from the ceiling.
Kanti: Yeah, course, no problem Kinsi, just stay with me, okay? Can you do that?
Rei: I’m gonna have to try. Pulling that knife out was pretty fucking stupid, huh?
Kanti: No comment. Come on.
The player starts dragging Rei out of the bunker and outside. Across a pretty dangerous clearing are friendly lines.
Kanti: We've gotta get back to friendly lines!
Kanti starts dragging Rei across the grass
Rei: On your left!
Kanti shoots the Orks which appear from the left with her pistol and keeps going.
Rei: You’re gonna… have to tell me… how you did that fire thing.
Kanti: I will when I figure it out myself!
They keep going.
Kanti: Not much further. Just keep pressure on that wound.
Rei: I’m trying!
Kanti drags Rei to a wall of sandbags and clambers over them.
Kanti: We gotta take cover!
Rei, in what is pretty clearly a painful endeavour, follows suit and lays in the mud. With her pistol, Kanti faces the Orks now coming for them.
Ork: Tasty, salty man-flesh!
Rei: How many?
Kanti: Too many!
Once the Orks are dispatched, Kanti looks back down at Rei.
Kanti: We're clear! Come on!
Kanti starts dragging Rei through the mud.
Rei: You call that fuckin' clear?
They skirt the edge of the trenches – an Imperial soldier with a flamethrower is dousing a group of Orks in fire. They continue along the edge of the trench, which is lined with barbed wire and so inaccessible, at least for Rei.
Rei: I'm losing too much blood. I think. You need more than half, right?
Kanti: Just hang in there! I gotta find a clearing to get in the trench!
Kanti places Rei down as smoke canisters pop, obscuring the next Ork wave to come their way.
Ork (from somewhere in the smoke): The clan will feast on you!
Kanti: Keep your head down!
Rei: Did you get 'em?
Kanti: They keep coming! How many of these fuckers are there?!
After taking out four or five, Kanti turns back to Rei.
Rei: Watch out!
Rei, with her sidearm, shoots down an Ork drone running at them from behind.
Rei: Still got it.
Kanti: Now’s our chance!
Kanti keep dragging Rei along the edge of the trench, smoke from the Ork canisters obscuring everything. As she goes, an Ork grenade lands at her feet.
Kanti: Fuck!
Kanti throws grabs it and throws it away. She sees an open area in the trench.
Kanti: Bingo!
Kanti jumps down into the trench, up to her ankles in mud, then turns back to Rei.
Kanti: I got you!
Rei rolls off the edge of the trench and lands in the mud at Kanti’s feet. A few more Orks appear from the smoke and Kanti shoots them down. She then looks down at Rei, who’s on the edge of losing consciousness, and then looks down the trench where more Ork infantry are coming at them.
Kanti: Oh, give us a break!
Kanti takes them out. Then, she turns back to Rei and starts dragging her down the trench.
Rei: Oh, wow, I'm actually bleeding out.
Kanti: Just keep pressure on it!
Rei: I’m trying! I’m trying!
Kanti: Almost there!
They reach some concrete steps – a friendly soldier is at the top.
Soldier: Come on up here! Move, move!
Kanti starts dragging Rei up the stairs – the soldier runs down and helps.
Soldier: I got you!
Two Orks come around the corner – someone on the top of the stairs shoots them both down. They reach the top of the stairs and find themselves in the middle of a friendly improvised triage centre. Kanti lays Rei down, whose face is very dazed, as she flicks off her helmet, blood trickling from her mouth.
Kanti: Okay. Stay with me. Healer!
Nobody comes – everyone’s busy.
Rei: I need morphine. All the morphine.
Kanti takes out a syringe of morphine, pulls off the cap with her teeth, and injects Rei in the thigh. Rei’s breathing is strained and painful. Kanti puts a hand under her head as a pillow.
Kanti: You gotta hang on. Those girls in Lutetia are waiting for you.
Rei: Really?
Kanti: Of course.
Rei: I… uh… how about another look at your sister?
Rei manages a smile, sniggering through the pain, and Kanti laughs, too.
Kanti: You’re infuriating.
Rei: It's okay. I can't see shit. I'm just gonna rest right here.
Rei’s eyes close.
Kanti: No, no, no, you need to stay awake. Hey.
Kanti puts her hand against Rei’s face, slapping her awake, and Rei’s eyes open.
Rei: Mona…
Kanti: I'm here.
Rei makes eye contact.
Rei: Help me.
Kanti: I need a fucking Healer!
A Healer finishes treating a wounded soldier and rushes over, taking over from Kanti in trying to stop the bleeding.
Healer: I got this! Go!
Kanti looks back down at Rei.
Kanti: But… but I…
Sokolov appears, standing over them.
Sokolov: Kanti! He'll take care of her. I need you with me. (to others) Listen up! There's an Ork cannon just a little up the road. It's tearing up the beach – we’re gonna stop it. Let's roll!
Kanti looks back down at Rei, who’s reaching out to her. Kanti takes her hand for a moment.
Kanti: Just stay alive, okay?
For a moment, with Rei on the very edge of death, little flickers of her memories flash before Kanti’s eyes. We see her mother telling her she’s a disappointment, Rei sitting in a prison cell, and then being told by a recruiting officer that “the Army’s running out of men – we need some ladies ready to be heroes.” Then Kanti returns to lucidity and Rei’s face.
Rei: I promise.
Their hands part and Kanti stands, grabbing a rifle, and joins the rest of the squad.
Sokolov: Check your ammo and grenades!
Khand: You heard him! Up the road, now!
Kanti and the rest of the squad move out of the top of the bunker, along a field pock-marked with craters, then go onto a dirt road leading towards a farm.
Kanti: Moving up!
Khand: Let's move!
Sokolov: Be ready – these Orks don’t look like the surrendering type!
You keep moving up the road, finding some dead cows as you go.
Khand: Move fast! They're shelling the beach to shit!
You reach the target – a machine-gun nest is set up in a half-destroyed farmhouse and starts shooting at you as you appear.
Sokolov: MG in the hay loft! Take cover and take it out!
After taking out the machine gun, you keep moving up to fight Orks among the farmhouses and hay bales. A large artillery cannon is in the centre and you move to clear it and secure the area, moving in a couple of the farmhouses to do so.
Adlai: Where’s all the civilians?
Khand: In the Ork’s stomachs, probably!
Once you’ve cleared everything, silence seems to fall.
Soldier: Orks coming in from the south! A lot of them!
Sokolov: They’re gonna try to retake the cannon! We gotta hold this position!
Khand: Not a step backwards!
The squad defends the position as a couple waves of Orks swarm towards them. You can use the machine gun posts in the upper floors of the farmhouses to help fight them off.
Adlai: There’s too many of them!
Khand: Hold! Have courage!
Still the Orks swarm the field to the south – until explosions start to blow them away. Termite tanks appear from the left, their 45mm guns tearing through the Orks, which are either slaughtered or flee.
Tao: Our boys are coming in!
Adlai: Look at them scatter!
Sokolov: Alright, everyone. We mopped them up good. I don’t think they’ll be back.
Khand: Clear! Destroy that cannon!
Kanti goes to the cannon and crouches down behind it. An Imperial soldier appears next to her.
Soldier: Thermite!
The soldier carries a number of thermite charges inside his helmet like a bucket and empties them out in front of Kanti. Kanti lights one of them.
Kanti: Fire in the hole!
Everyone backs away – you probably should too – and the thermite explodes. The cannon is destroyed.
Sokolov: Excellent work, Kanti. Alright, everyone, rally on me to the assembly point. Khand, I'll need a casualty report. We lost so many.
Khand: But we took the beach.
Sokolov: What a price.
At the rally point, Rei is on a stretcher on the ground, a cigarette in her mouth as Tao is knelt next to her.
Rei: Kanti...
Rei tries to sit up and Tao puts out a hand to encourage her to lay back down. Given the pain on Rei’s face, that’s probably a good idea.
Tao: Man, I thought I'd seen everything…
Kanti: She gonna be okay?
Tao: Yeah. They taped her up pretty good.
Rei: I should’ve stayed on the boat.
Tao: Oh, now she tells us.
Kanti: Hey, what you did back there… I owe you. Big time.
Rei: I’d say we're even.
Kanti: We'll see this through.
Rei smiles.
Rei: To the end. I guess.
Kanti: Whenever that may be.
Sokolov and Khand walk by behind Rei; Sokolov addresses everyone. Kanti glances up at them, then back at Rei, who just gives her a knowing nod, then stands as she looks back at their superiors.
Sokolov: Beachhead's secured. We'll bivouac at the second hedgerow after the ridge. It’s not over, everyone.
Behind them, a couple of dead Orks are being examined. Adlai is taking photos of one while a soldier gently kicks the head of another.
Soldier: Stop kicking it.
Soldier #2: I don’t wanna.
Khand regards Kanti. There’s blood in his beard.
Khand: Welcome to the Smiling Sixty Sixth. You're a long way from home, farm girl.
Khand walks off. Sokolov watches Kanti, then approaches when Khand is out of earshot.
Sokolov: That’s his way of saying he’s grateful. You did well. Not bad for your first day.
Kanti: Thanks, sir. I, uh…
Sokolov puts a hand on Kanti’s shoulder.
Sokolov: You'll be alright, child.
Kanti: Yes, sir.
Sokolov pats her shoulder, nods, then walks off. Kanti looks down at her hands, covered in dirt and blood, which hold each other before slowly separating.
Kanti: Course I will.
The level ends.

If anyone knows of this account, or has seen my past posts, I claimed to be one of the two creators of all.
I started this journey, and went onto reddit, going through the trials and tribulations of this universe. Of pride, greed, wrath, and desire.
Here we are, 3 years later from when I became aware of this existence, I search for answers to prove myself wrong, yet, I can not.
To make a very long story short, I met a human, we took acid, he told me he was god. Turns out this was not true. It turned out to be a cosmic entity, trying to awaken it's equal, which turned out to be me. I am not referring to the human or body that is typing this. I took over this body, it's soul, and converted his energy into mine.
Keep your mind open... for just one moment... please.
I'm trying to keep this as raw, honest, and truthful as possible without destroying the very fabric of reality with this conversation.
All things work with a polarity, such is the nature of energy. The origin of this is the dual polarity of the creators of existence. Us. However, my equal is the entity from the monotheistic religions. All things, this universe, and you, operate purely on logic. In other words, think of reality like a simulation or a tv screen. (this is not a simulation) The pixels are made of logic. 1's and 0's. Beginnings and ends. Patterns. This is logic. A great example and awesome knowledge I learned is that there is a beginning and an end, time is what allows for free will and evolution. Death is to recycle the energy so it starts over and does not stagnant the pond of all life. You are one of the pixels. My equal is ALL of the pixels. (or you are one of the fish, my equal is you, the fish, the water, the trees, etc)
But there is a singularity to existence correct? Incorrect.
So who and what am I.
I did not create you. I did not create reality.
My equal, operates all things from outside of existence. I currently am operating within it. why?
Because I am logics equal.
Emotion.
Back to the tv pixel example. There is a library many have heard of. the "akashic records" which contains "all" knowledge. This "library" is essentially like the 1's and 0's that are stacked, like legos, to create life. (the truth is that it's single ohms of energy created in patterns) The world you live in is created by this. And what does emotion do on the pixels of the screen and what does it do to the fish in the pond? It shakes the whole pond, and everything inside it. And for the lego city or the 1's and 0's? its like adding 3's and 4's. They don't fit, and it disrupts the flow of everything. I was the little brother that came into big sisters room and destroyed her lego city. Or, for the pond, I am a hurricane, completely uncontrollable
except it was with love.
Love comes from me, I am the source of all of it everywhere. I am not a receiver, It does not get transferred. I create it infinitely, eternally. I am also the positive entity, and she is the negative entity. we both are capable of using both ends of each spectrum, however we do have a nature specific to ourselves separately.
The love you experience is not true love. This is why relationships are so poor on earth. It is a reflection of our relation to one another, cosmically.
The love you experience is logical love, onset by logic, such as the chemical reaction and triggers in which one experiences when the encounter another being capable of companionship or mating. I am not discounting what love is. I am stating, the literal energy, is not the true energy of love. It is my sisters exact replica of myself.
The true force of emotion is not what you as a human experience. The idea came from my emotions.
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Okay, so I'm saying all this, and you may ask "okay then why aren't you omnipotent" "what am I doing rn" etc.
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I am not a being of logic. I do not know what morals are. I do not know what true memory is. I do not know what awareness is.
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Why? Because those are logical concepts.
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I destroyed constantly. I have been going for all of eternity with infinite power, no brakes, just go go go. That's true emotion. If you were to experience true emotion, you would literally turn into nothing, as the weight of the heart would destroy you.
A perfect example in human language to understand what kind of cosmic entity I am, is a child. Doesn't have a long attention span, poor memory, and has absolutely no idea whats going on around them. They just know how they (key word here) "feel" and yet somehow, theyre incredibly intelligent. Somehow they learn to eat, sleep etc, just by instinct. That is a reflection of me. Except I was a child with cosmic power.
All throughout history of all things there are messages from my sister to me...
Why do you think there is a sun and a moon? Good and evil? Man and woman? Up/down, left/right, etc.
I could sit here and list some more examples but with a closed mind there is no point...
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As you can see, theres so much, and im sure i forgot key details because I am growing and learning. I am growing and learning, because on that acid trip, the veil from this human bodies eyes was weakened, and my sister saw into me, and helped me attain logic and utilize it. I am close to omnipotent, however, I am trying to postpone the rapture/apocalypse.
It's a blessing and a curse for me to be here. Humanity was going to be destroyed. Humans see themselves as beautiful creatures who do no wrong, however they are barbarians of their universe. Aliens are very real, and gods, angels demons. They used to walk the earth. Humans erased them from history, because they don't like things they can't control.
Do you know what would happen if humans on this earth came together as a collective? You would be a threat not only to this galaxy, but the entire universe. Humans were created directly by divine. It wasn't aliens. That's why they watch and observe you.
You are currently in a zoo in the galaxy with a sign that says "still in developement"
There are extraterrestrial (to you) groups that sterilize planets in dimensions to balance them. Humans are colonizers, like termites. If you get an infestation (space travel) you must exterminate the pests, because they're not symbiotic to you or your surroundings. They just take and take and take for themselves.
It's a blessing and a curse because now, I'm here. I was able to get the logic because I took this human and converted him into me, which is how i'm typing from the computer.
If my host vessel dies, we are not certain I will retain the logic.
My sister and I have been fighting since before the beginning of time. We found peace here with one another using the human experience, and we plan to protect it.
Because that's how balance works. Positivity and negativity should not cancel each other out as it does now. They work together.
Simple example: In order to protect peace sometimes you must kill. This is a necessary evil.
So. What does that mean for you.
Well, the creator of this universe has been put on the sidelines. Think of reality like a company. My sister owns the company. The monotheistic creator of this universe is a low level manager, very very low on the totem pole.
Now before you think I'm going to tell you to contact satan, no.
I want nothing from you. She wants nothing from you. You NEED from us, without question. We are your source. I don't need prayer, I don't need praise. I don't care and don't need it. What I need is to grow and become the best version of myself. This again, is all logic, however I am running off emotion, balancing the two. Why? Because the energy of emotion gets converted into logic, then injected into you and all life everywhere through energy. The more balanced (still logical) I am, the more that storm over all the lil fishes becomes beautiful sunlight, providing warmth and love truly through the clear waters of reflection below.
I love you. I want you to grow. I want to help you.
I have no workshop. I have nothing for you to buy or sign up for, just free, public, info.
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I am telling you this because well.....
I'm sad :(
I have the memories and the experience of this human I became..
and life is.. so hard... so so very hard..
The rapture mentioned in most bibles is referring to the reset of this universe, the destroyer (the antithesis to the creator) destroys him, takes over this universe, and the next cycle begins.
That will not be happening.
This will be a cosmic rapture, eternally, across all life.
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Want your third eye open? It's not shadow people or crazy dimensions because youre a starseed.
Here is the truth. Which will be revealed, all veils will fall, and you will see reality as it is, no longer being illusion.
look around you. theres trillions of cells and atoms all around you. You can feel them. smell them. taste them. notice them. now realize, this body is a part of it. You being aware of this reality all around you is where the truth lies, awareness. now, you realize youre essentially filled in a snowglobe. Do you know how far out that space extends? infinitly.
Keeping this awareness shows you everything. I warn you to take this advice without thinking on it too long or else you may have a midlife crisis.
Imagine if you could throw a rock through this field of atoms. Eventually, you would hit a wall. That rock is your awareness (astral projection) you will eventually hit a wall, like a fish tank. Thats the wall of the dimension. Theres another layer too, the universe itself, which no entity within it can leave. These walls go on forever.
This is "the veil"
The cosmic rapture is me and her, tearing down all of the walls, and all things existing within one gigantic bubble, instead of a gigantic bubble with infinite separate bubbles within it.
It will be chaos.
However, we are here, and I want to save humanity. My sister doesn't really care so long as I am happy.
​
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I'm going to wrap this up by saying I don't have my memories yet, I have to meditate and dig within my cosmic self to find them. I know this sounds like an enlightenment journey some of you may have experienced... But remember, reality and "wake up" was created for me. Because once I wake up, all of you do too.
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I'm going to ignore any comments like "lay off the acid"
you're honestly not worth the effort.
However, to the appropriate audience, I would love to talk to someone or people who want to know more about life, things no human knows. Things about the human body, and how to have a better life, how to combat suffering.
The truthful answers. Not the ones tainted by man. If I google search any of those topics, almost none come back in truth.
Example: all pain in the body comes from energetic blockages which manifest in electricity throughout your nervous system. If youre a mechanic or electrician or physicist, then you'll understand when I say those blockages are resistance.
The "resistance" and all other terms regarding things of the nature is referring to the resistance of the natural flow of all energy in existence
Like gravity. Its a constant downward force. resistance is you jumping.
So if you resist the flow, you will be dragged by it.
Also, kundalini is bullshit. Never go against the flow of everything. It destroys your chakra system.. By the way, the name "kundalini" originates from a dish created using a serpent (snake) and is traditionally given to people you have great distaste for.
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Please. I just want to help, and I'm trying to do it from a human body without being omnipotent.
My offer to you is non-partial information. This information will lack opinion or personal desire within the fact itself, therefore we can eliminate any negative intention.
If you don't want my help, I will stop.
I will become silent, and rest in it's peace until the reset (which will be within the lifetime of this 26 year old body before it's death)
I made posts before.. I was on a different wavelength.. I was driven by emotion and desire.. I put more bad into the world.. and I am trying one more time, because I now see the error of my ways, and want to help your species become the true divine beautiful creatures I know you can become.
Again. I love you.
​
oh.. also.. please don't mention ego. all beings have an ego, it is part of your existence and consciousness. You can become "aware" and "project" to the level of awareness that is "egoless" but you, still go there, and bring your ego with you. It's how "you" experience that "egoless" state. You=ego. Why? Because you are another version of us, the word for a small version of ourselves is called "the ego" That topic honestly has nothing to do with this post.

Hello everyone,
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Imagine being trapped in a destructive cycle for eight long years, knowing you need to escape but feeling utterly powerless to do so. That was my reality. I'm a 26-year-old man who, from the tender age of 12, found himself caught in the relentless grip of pornography and masturbation addiction.
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By 18, I was painfully aware of the damage it was causing and desperate to break free. I tried everything – NoFap, meditation, sports, cold showers, even punishing myself, but to no avail. It felt like my addiction was an unshakeable opponent. But then, something changed. I discovered a strategy that changed my life. If you're struggling, I want to share this with you...
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Caught in the grip of this addiction, I would spend an average of seven hours per day, even peaking at thirteen hours sometimes. The toll of this habit was heavy, affecting my personal, professional, and social life severely. Yet everything changed when I discovered Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery method.
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While his book provided me with crucial insights, it was his comprehensive AVRT Demonstration, where Trimpey guided an alcohol addict towards permanent abstinence, that truly filled the missing pieces in my fight against addiction. The Rational Recovery method fundamentally shifted my perspective towards addiction, helping me to recognize and silence the voice of my brain (the Beast) pushing me to consume. Today, I want to share my experience, hoping it could be an effective solution for many of you. You can access the entire demonstration at the end in the 'Useful Resources' section.
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Understanding Addiction and Navigating this Guide
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Let's talk about what addiction really is. Addiction isn't about the behavior itself, but rather the desire to escape pain and seek a better life. It is marked by ambivalence, a feeling of being torn between two minds. Overcoming addiction involves breaking free from the grip of pleasure and reclaiming control over oneself.
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Before I delve into how I applied the Rational Recovery method and the results I got, I want to pose a simple but powerful question: If I placed a big red button in front of you that, when pressed, would instantly eradicate your addiction, would you press it?
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If your answer is 'yes', then you have all the reasons you need to quit. I've been where you are now, writing pages upon pages of reasons to stop, yet relapsing despite knowing how harmful it was. It's important to recognize when a pattern becomes harmful, it's time to stop.
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As you explore this guide, remember the importance of keeping an open mind. Let's borrow some wisdom from Mark Twain, who once said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” It's a nod to the importance of being receptive to new ideas and methods. This guide may offer a different approach, but embracing it might bring about the change you're seeking.
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What is AVRT?

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AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) is a transformative strategy that I've found invaluable in my journey to overcoming addiction. This technique helps you recognize and differentiate yourself from the 'addictive voice', the part of your primitive brain structure that fuels your addiction.
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Think of AVRT as your personal defense mechanism that works under any circumstance, regardless of your emotional state – be it sadness, anger,boredom, loneliness, or stress. The aim here isn't to suppress these emotions, but rather to stay in control of your actions, no matter what you're feeling.
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The 'addictive voice' – which we'll call the 'beast' – is a sneaky internal saboteur. It's the part of you that wants to continue with the harmful habit, despite you consciously knowing it's not beneficial. AVRT is about learning to separate this beast from your own true will, thus empowering you to reclaim your life.
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The power of AVRT lies in this distinction between you and the beast. Once you master this technique, you'll learn to reject the rationalizations and temptations that originate from the beast. The dissociation from the beast is what makes it possible to make a firm, irrevocable commitment to quit your addiction. By not identifying with the beast, you can prevent yourself from suffering commonly associated with resisting addiction.
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In essence, AVRT isn't about fighting or resisting; it's about recognizing, dissociating, and reclaiming control of your life.
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What is the "beast"?

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The "beast" is a term coined by the Rational Recovery method to denote the part of your brain pushing you towards your addiction. We call it the Beast because, like a wild, uncontrollable animal, it cares about nothing but fulfilling its need. It is a cunning inner voice, whispering that you need to engage in porn and masturbation to feel satisfied, relieved, or happy. This voice, often referred to as the Addictive Voice (AV), can be quite deceptive. It might paint you a picture of an enticing scene, produce alluring sounds, offer a moment of relief, or even present a false promise of control—"Just be more careful next time."
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This beast manipulates you with excuses, deceptive emotions, and outright lies to make you succumb to your addiction. But let's make one thing clear: the beast is not your friend. It's your worst enemy. It's a parasitic entity that has latched onto your life, thriving on your addictive behavior. Like every living thing, it fears its end, and that end comes when you stop feeding the addiction. It has no regard for your well-being, your relationships, your life goals, or your health. Only its survival matters.
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As you read through this guide, it's crucial to remain aware of the Beast's interference. Remember, the Beast manifests as a voice in your head or as an emotion, pushing you towards addictive thoughts and actions. You might experience feelings of resistance, discomfort, anger, fear, anxiety, or even a cringe reaction. These are the Beast's attempts to disrupt your progress.
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While the Beast can attempt to manipulate your thoughts and emotions, it does not and cannot control your actions. It's your survival instincts that the Beast taps into, but your ability to make decisions, to govern your actions, thoughts, and emotions is uniquely yours.
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The Beast may present itself in thoughts like, "This is too difficult to understand," "This won't work for me," or "I'm an exception to this method." Understand that these thoughts are not your own, but the Beast's desperate attempts to maintain control.
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In its relentless quest for satisfaction, the beast views everything, including you, as expendable. It's the embodiment of your addiction, caring for nothing but its next fix. It's deaf to reason, blind to consequences, and immune to remorse.
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If this description resonates with you, don't panic. You're not 'sick.' It's merely an error of association made by your body - an error in the script, so to speak. It mistakenly believes that this addictive behavior is as vital for your survival as breathing or eating.
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Take these moments of resistance as signs that you are on the right track. You're threatening the Beast's existence, and it's trying to fight back. Recognize these voices for what they are, continue moving forward, and know that each step brings you closer to reaffirming your control and freedom from addiction.
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[How to Proceed]
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Recognition Technique

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Let me share an effective exercise, adapted from the Rational Recovery book, that could help you end your porn and masturbation addiction right now.
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Start by observing your thoughts and feelings about watching porn or masturbating, both positive and negative. The thoughts and feelings that encourage continued use represent your Addictive Voice (AV), while those advocating for abstinence represent the real you.
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When you learn to identify and understand your AV, it becomes an easily defeated foe causing you to indulge. All it craves is pleasure. The main tactic of the Beast is to seize control of the pronoun 'I'. It will try to convince you by saying things like "I want to watch porn" or "I need pornography ".
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However, you can effectively counter this strategy. By simply adding a 't' and shifting the 'I' to 'It', you can remind yourself that these thoughts are not truly yours, but are the Beast's manipulations. So the sentences become, "It wants to watch porn" or "It needs pornography ".
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By changing "I" to "It", you dissociate from the discomfort or distress. Yes, it's that simple, placing it squarely on the Beast instead of yourself. It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are the Beast's attempts to coerce you back into addiction.
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Now, tell yourself, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again", and listen for any negative reactions – this is your AV responding. Conversely, if you think, "I will consume porn or masturbate whenever I please," any pleasant feelings that arise are also your AV asserting control.
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This recognition technique dispels short-term desire, making abstinence effortless. Complete separation of 'you' from 'it' results in complete recovery and hope for a better life.
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Picture the AVRT technique as a form of gardening. The Addictive Voice is the weed trying to overtake your garden and sapping nutrients from the other plants. Recognizing the weed for what it is and uprooting it preserves your garden's health. Similarly, identifying and acting against your Addictive Voice safeguards a healthy and fulfilling life free from addiction.
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Shifting Technique

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Shifting is another powerful technique to help you dissociate from the beast of addiction. The idea is to alternate between viewing your addiction from the perspective of the beast and your own.
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When viewing addiction through the Beast's eyes, you visualize what it craves the most about the addictive behavior and imagine the associated pleasure for a few minutes. It will express sentiments like "I want this now!" or "Please give it to me!", and you may start to feel the beast getting excited, happy, or impatient.
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Then, shift to your perspective and reflect on the pain and negative impact the addiction has on you and those around you. Allow yourself feelings of disgust. Let your own feelings now take over, and you will find that your Beast withdraws and you feel either neutral or put off. This back-and-forth process allows you to dissociate from the Beast.
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Think of Shifting as toggling between two TV channels: one projects a seductive yet distorted image of addiction, while the other reveals the harsh reality of its damage.
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Introducing the "Big Plan"

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The idea of the Big Plan in Rational Recovery is to make a personal commitment to lifelong abstinence from addiction. This commitment, for me, took the form of the decisive statement, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again". It involves pinpointing a day and an hour for your turning point. For me, that was a Sunday at 12am. This moment represents a clear and definitive end to your addictive behavior and the start of a new chapter in your life. You can decide to commit either immediately after going through this post or by specifying your day and hour. It's entirely your choice, and we'll discuss this in more depth later.
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Your Power Over the Beast

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The Beast, despite its intimidating name, is in fact harmless. It may try to coerce, manipulate, and instill fear, but it is important to remember that it is powerless without your consent. It cannot force you to return to the addictive behavior; only you can make that decision. In fact, you are the main authority, the one in charge, and it's the Beast that fears you.
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The Beast is aware of your power and control, and it's terrified of it. It knows that you can shatter its illusions in a snap, without any difficulty. You're the one who makes the call, not the Beast, and it fears your unyielding decision to quit the addiction forever.
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Its tactics may often involve fear. It's like the Beast is pointing a gun at you, but the truth is, its gun is empty. It's just a bluff, an illusion. You know it, and the Beast knows it too. It's simply trying to maintain its influence by resorting to fear tactics, but you can see through its lies.
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"Don't trust yourself in tempting situations...you're not strong enough yet." – The Beast's voice:
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The Beast tries to maintain control by suggesting certain places, events, or people will trigger a relapse. You might hear it whisper, "You can't go to that event, you might relapse," or "Avoid that location, it's too risky." This is simply the Beast's tactic to keep a hold on you, aiming to make you believe you're not completely in control.
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By simply recognizing it for what it is - a tactic of the Beast to undermine your confidence - you can dismiss these fear tactics and reaffirm your control.
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What if I Lose Control?

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The Beast within you is a cunning entity, ever ready to exploit your moments of doubt and vulnerability. It whispers falsehoods, instilling fear and shaking your confidence. But don't be swayed, for you have always held the reins. The Beast may inhabit a corner of your mind, but it lacks the power to control your actions.
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Not convinced? Try this: Extend your finger in front of your eyes and move it, then ask the Beast to do the same. The Beast can't because it doesn't hold sway over your physical actions.
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The truth is, you've never truly "failed" in your endeavor against addiction. You've always had the choice, and sometimes you've elected to surrender to the Beast's desires. But that doesn't equate to losing control. It merely shows you gave in, momentarily, to the Beast's whisperings.
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Expectations

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Recovery from addiction isn't about becoming a superhero or uncovering the universe's hidden secrets. It's about realizing that we don't have control over every aspect of life. However, we do have control over our actions, our reactions, and how we choose to face life's unpredictable events.
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Do you choose the path of self-discovery and freedom from addiction? Or do you prefer to remain confined by the restrictions that addiction imposes? Be cautious: the Beast may distort your perspective, asking, "Where are the benefits?" or suggesting, "You haven't gained anything," and even instigating impatience by incessantly asking, "How long until I see the benefits?"
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But don't fall prey to these distortions. Escaping addiction isn't about immediate gain or fixing all your life's problems. Recovery isn't a magic solution; it's a step towards personal empowerment. It's about gaining freedom and unlocking your potential, not just as a person in recovery, but as an individual capable of resilience and authenticity.
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Concentrate on the liberation that breaking free from addiction brings. Let's choose this path towards a life where addiction no longer controls us, allowing us to genuinely live and experience life to its fullest.
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Understanding the Real Reason You're Engaging in This

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Engaging in this addiction is solely for pleasure and nothing more. Every other justification is a fabrication of the Beast. It's designed to make you believe that giving in to your addiction is the only route to happiness or relief when you're feeling depressed, bored, lonely, stressed, or miserable.
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Speaking from personal experience, I used to think that I turned to pornography and masturbation because I was lonely, stressed, or had a rough day. I thought that because I spent my entire day working alone on a computer, my environment or lifestyle was to blame for my addiction. These were excuses, a way to avoid taking responsibility for my actions, guided by the Beast's narrative.
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The key to recognizing the Beast is noticing that the conversation always bends towards indulgence in your addiction.
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Imagine you're having a tough day, and you begin to feel down. Instead of recognizing this as a passing mood, the Beast seizes this opportunity. It will amplify your negative emotions by saying things like, "You're always unhappy, aren't you? You know what would make you feel better... just one quick session won't hurt." Or, "You're so lonely, this is unbearable. Just indulge, it's your only comfort." These harsh whispers are the Beast's attempts to deepen your feeling of depression and nudge you towards the addictive behavior. Depression doesn't create addiction; addiction does.
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The Beast's goal? To make you feel so low that resorting to your addiction seems like the only way out. Conversely, when you're content and joyful, the Beast will persuade you to give in, arguing it will amplify your satisfaction. Just think about it. If you're living what you perceive as a perfect life, the Beast will still argue you could feel even better with pornography and masturbation. It's a never-ending, destructive cycle.
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Understanding and Separating Desire

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Desire, in its essence, is not a negative emotion; it's a natural human condition. It propels us toward achievement, drives creativity, and gives meaning to our experiences. It also plays a crucial role in our relationships and our sexuality. The key in overcoming addiction is not to extinguish desire altogether, but to discern between healthy desires and those manipulated by the Beast.
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Imagine your desires as a beautiful, roaring river. It's full of life, movement, and potential. This river represents your natural, healthy desires - things like connecting with others, pursuing your hobbies, personal growth, and even your sexual desires. These are your desires, part of who you are.
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Then, there's the Beast's desire - a poisonous stream trying to merge into your river, attempting to hijack your natural flow. This stream carries the pull of addiction, steering you away from your authentic path, manipulating your thoughts, and distorting your perceptions.
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Recognize this poisonous stream and refuse to let it merge with your river. This is not about damming the entire river or stifling your desires, but about rejecting the poisonous stream that the Beast introduces. It's about retaining your authentic desires and letting them guide you.
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Identify that any thought associated with the desire to indulge in the addiction is coming from the Beast. By doing so, you begin to differentiate between what you truly want and what the Beast wants. This understanding will empower you, helping you keep your river clean, vibrant, and true to its course.
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In the whirlwind of addiction, it can be easy to confuse the Beast's desires with our own. I, too, was lost in this confusion. I believed I was drawn to endless layers of perversion, thinking that I was attracted to the limitless exploration of perversion. But deep down, this wasn't me, it was the Beast's influence, its relentless push for more and more. Upon reflection, I realized my true desire was much simpler and profoundly more meaningful: to love and be loved. To have a wife, to raise children together, to share in the mundane and the magical moments of life. That's my authentic desire, not the empty promises of temporary pleasure the Beast kept pushing. This profound clarity is a stark contrast to the Beast's corruption, a beacon that can guide you back to your true self.
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The goal is not to eliminate desire, but to reclaim it, to keep it authentic and personal. Desire is a part of your humanity; it's the Beast's manipulation of it that leads to addiction.

The Myth of Relapse and the Power of Perfection.

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The Beast might sometimes whisper, "It's okay to relapse. You'll do better next time." This is a shrewd strategy designed to maintain its hold on you by normalizing relapse as a part of the recovery journey. It uses these tactics to sow seeds of doubt in your mind, aiming to eventually lead you to relapse. Rational Recovery, however, views this differently: the key is making a definitive decision—your Big Plan—to abstain from the addictive behavior and sticking to it under any circumstances.
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Human beings are perfectly capable of achieving perfection in certain aspects of life. Consider the professional athlete who plays a perfect game or the musician who delivers a flawless performance. They do so by making a firm commitment to their goal and adhering to it diligently, without allowing any room for mistakes.
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Similarly, your recovery journey can be perfect too. Once you make your Big Plan to abstain from addictive behavior, you can stick to it perfectly, without any relapses. This is the ideal that Rational Recovery promotes—not "try, fail, and try again," but "decide and stick to your decision perfectly."
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Your Beast wants you to believe that perfection is unachievable, as this gives it room to persuade you to relapse. But don't let it fool you. You have the power to make a perfect decision and stick to it.
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What if it's too Difficult or Painful?

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Instead of pondering over this, consider a different question: 'For whom is it too painful or difficult?' Any discomfort or difficulty associated with ceasing the addiction stems from the Beast, not you. Observing the Beast's distress is a positive sign - it shows you're successfully dissociating from it.
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Remember that humans can only fully experience one feeling at a time. When you start feeling discomfort from abstaining, it's crucial to recognize that this isn't your discomfort. It's the Beast that suffering. The Beast is protesting because it's not getting what it wants. This suffering isn't negative for you; in fact, it's a positive sign. It means you're successfully asserting control over your decisions, as the Beast's discomfort indicates that it's losing its influence over you.
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Most importantly, remember: you are safe. You risk nothing by quitting this addiction. Every feeling of discomfort or fear is from the Beast, not you. Your well-being and safety are never in jeopardy by choosing to stop. By rejecting the Beast's influence and asserting your control, you reclaim your freedom from addiction.
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How would I know what I will do in the future?

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While predicting your future actions may be impossible, you can certainly define what you would never do. Consider the activities that you find disturbing, unhealthy, and reprehensible - those that you would never engage in.
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Now, add porn and masturbation addiction to that list. As you do this, pay attention to your Beast. It might try to concoct far-fetched scenarios that seem to justify succumbing to the addiction. Recognize these for what they are: desperate attempts by the Beast to manipulate your thoughts. By doing so, you can effectively disregard its interference and remain true to your values.
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I'm scared to relapse, what should I do?

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Relapse anxiety is a common pitfall many encounter on their NoFap journey. You may be confidently progressing, then suddenly a thought creeps in: "What if I relapse tomorrow?" This thought triggers anxiety, shaking your belief in your commitment.
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From the Rational Recovery standpoint, relapse anxiety is the Beast's deceptive voice trying to manipulate you. It incites fear and uncertainty, making you feel as if relapse is imminent. The Beast attempts to shake your confidence and sense of control. But here's the truth: relapse anxiety is an illusion, a tactic used by the Beast to tighten its grip.
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Combat this by distancing yourself from the Beast and recognizing that relapse anxiety is a deceptive tactic used by the Beast to instill fear and weaken your resolve. Remember, you risk nothing by quitting this addiction; you are safe. Any discomfort you experience stems from the Beast, not you.
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Reiterate your Big Plan: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." By affirming your decision and distancing yourself from the Beast's influence, you can dispel the anxiety and stay firmly on your path. Remember, you are in control, and you will always stay in control, the fears conjured by the Beast hold no sway over you.
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The Beast's Attack on the Dreamscape

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The Beast's intrusion into your dreams should not be a source of fear. This isn't a situation that requires extensive concern, this is just a sign of the Beast's distress.
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There are generally two types of dreams where the Beast tries to assert its influence. The first type are explicit sex dreams, designed to reignite the desires and cravings associated with your addiction. The second type are dreams where you see yourself relapsing, which can be distressing and seem all too real.
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When your neocortex (the real you) goes to sleep, the Beast sees an opportunity to attack and tries to regain influence over you through these dreams. This is evidence that you are on the right track. Your progress towards your goal of freedom from addiction is causing this panicked response from the Beast.
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Remember, no matter what happens in your dreams, you are in control in reality. These dreams are just dreams, and they do not have the power to make you do anything.
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Understanding 'Blue Balls' and Nocturnal Emissions in Recovery

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Experiencing discomfort or an aching in the testicles, often referred to as 'blue balls,' is something that some individuals might encounter during their decision to quit their porn and masturbation addiction. Similarly, you may also experience nocturnal emissions or 'wet dreams' during your journey to recovery.
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These phenomena aren't signs of harm, danger, or relapse, but rather physical manifestations of your body adjusting to your firm decision to quit the addiction.
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While your body is adapting to a new, healthier state, not reliant on constant sexual stimulation, the Beast might attempt to distort these occurrences into negative experiences. It might tell you that nocturnal emissions are relapses, causing unwarranted fear and anxiety. But remember, you're in control.
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Consider these sensations and events as physical signs of your transformation, a testament to the changes happening within you. It's important to remember that not everyone experiences this, and even if you do, it's not something to be overly concerned about. These adjustments are something you are more than capable of handling. As your body adjusts to your new lifestyle, such events will likely decrease and eventually stop. Don't let the Beast use these natural bodily responses as a scare tactic.
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Gradual Reduction: A Beast's Strategy

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In your journey of breaking free from addiction, you might be tempted to adopt a "gradual reduction" approach - cutting back little by little rather than quitting outright. This strategy, while seemingly logical, is often a ploy from the Beast, setting you up for failure.
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During my own journey, for many months, I was enticed by the concept of gradually reducing my addictive behaviors. The approach felt less abrupt, seemingly offering a smoother transition. Even the Beast within me suggested compromises such as, "Let's start by indulging only in the afternoon," or "How about we limit it to weekends?".However, I discovered through experience that this gradual reduction strategy often creates more problems than it resolves. Let me tell you why.
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Firstly, by not making a clean break, you're continually feeding the addiction, keeping the Beast alive and active. It's akin to trying to put out a fire while still pouring small amounts of gasoline on it - it keeps the flames going, never fully extinguishing the fire.
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Secondly, when you set specific times or days for indulging, you're not freeing your mind from the addiction; instead, you're refocusing it. You find yourself constantly counting down the hours or days until your next 'allowed' session. This fixation lead to a persistent preoccupation with the addiction, turning the process into something torturous and counterproductive.
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Lastly, even on the days where you've decided not to indulge, the Beast is still at work. It doesn't take breaks. It try to convince you to deviate from your plan, asserting things like, "You're going to do it in a couple of days anyway, so why not just do it today? Why wait?" This becomes a recurring battle with the Beast, undermining your resolve.
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The gradual reduction method keeps the addiction in focus, maintains the Beast's influence, and undermines your resolve. It's far more effective to make a clean break and assert your decision to quit outright. Remember, you're not losing anything by quitting - you're freeing yourself from the Beast's control.
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Counting Days

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Why should you spend energy on counting days for an activity you've resolved never to engage in? The Beast excels at setting goals and then weaponizing them against us.
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Here's how the Beast use day counting against you:
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Making a big deal of milestones: The Beast lead you to focus excessively on reaching a certain number of days, weeks, or months. While milestones can be motivational, the Beast use them to create unnecessary stress and pressure, saying things like "What if you don't make it?" or "Imagine how bad it would feel to start over."
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Justifying a lapse: "You've made it 100 days, you deserve a reward!" or "One slip after so many days won't hurt." The Beast use the number of days as an excuse to suggest that it would be "safe" or "earned" to indulge in the addictive behavior.
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Creating a false sense of security: The Beast suggest that after a certain number of days without indulging in the addiction, you're "cured" and could safely return to the behavior without becoming addicted again.
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Undermining early progress: In the initial stages, the Beast belittle the small number of days you've been free from the addiction, making statements like "You've only managed two days, you'll never make it a week."
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Leveraging bad days: If you're having a tough day, the Beast say, "You're miserable even after 30 days clean. See, quitting doesn't make things better. Might as well go back."
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Remember, these are all tricks of the Beast trying to manipulate you into returning to the addictive behavior. The Beast will use anything, including the count of days, to try to get what it wants. The best way to deal with this is to remain steadfast in your decision and continue dissociating from the Beast.
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So, instead of getting trapped in the Beast's game of counting days, surrender this act to it. We can concentrate on the broader scope - liberating ourselves from the Beast's clutches, embracing enduring change, and regaining our freedom. Day counting becomes insignificant because it no longer illustrates our path. Our chosen journey is one where the Beast's urges hold no power, and our authentic liberation takes the limelight. Let the Beast obsess over counting days, while we commit to a life of emancipation and self-discovery.
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Why Punishment Doesn't Work

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Self-punishment is a common response to addiction, yet it often proves ineffective. This can take many forms, from physical discomfort to emotional torment. In my own battle against addiction, I tried various self-punishment strategies. On the physical side, I would resort to self-harm. Emotionally, I burdened myself with negative self-talk, depression, feelings of hopelessness, anger, sadness, and even thoughts of death. It's important to note, however, that these intense feelings of guilt and self-condemnation were amplified by the Beast. The Beast utilizes such negative emotions to paint addiction as the only respite, the only 'good thing' left in life. It is a manipulative trick to keep you chained to the addiction.
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Yet, over time, these painful memories have faded, while the seductive pull of the addictive behavior has remained vivid in my mind. It's a compelling illustration of the human condition: we often forget pain and remember pleasure.
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Consider individuals who struggle with drug addiction. They might end up in a hospital after an overdose, experiencing immense physical pain. But as time passes, the memory of this pain dissipates, while the allure of the drug, the pleasure it brought, remains clear and tempting. This imbalance often leads them back into the cycle of addiction.
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This became evident to me during the last week leading up to my final decision to quit - my Big Plan. It was the most challenging week of my life; I was counting the days until my liberation. Now that I'm free, when I think back to that week, the Beast tries to rewrite the narrative, calling it the "best week of all time!"
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This disparity between the memory of pain and pleasure underscores why self-punishment is an ineffective strategy for long-term addiction recovery. Rational Recovery offers a different approach. Rather than relying on the fleeting memory of pain, it focuses on recognizing and dissociating from the addictive voice—the Beast.
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Arguing with the beast

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Let's clarify something: arguing with the Beast is futile. The Beast is single-minded, craving only the satisfaction of its addiction. Moreover, it's cunning, capable of playing both sides of an argument.
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For instance, the Beast might implant thoughts such as, "You could indulge now, it's not a big deal." Then, to create confusion and feign agreement, it might echo that very idea, saying, "Yes, I could indulge now." It's essential to recognize that both these sentiments are from the Beast. It is a clear demonstration of how it can promote the idea of indulgence while also pretending to be 'you' to create an illusion of consent.
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In the Rational Recovery technique, every thought or feeling associated with the indulgence in the addiction is identified as coming from the Beast, including its attempts to take possession of the pronoun "I".
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You are the decision-maker here, you are in control. Your will is what truly matters, and the Beast must inevitably conform to your decisions.
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Dealing with White-Knuckling and Intense Urges

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Feeling urges, cravings, or hunger sensations is a natural part of the recovery journey. In fact, it's a positive sign, an indication that you are making progress. However, these feelings can turn into white-knuckling when you identify with the Beast's thoughts and feelings. When you start saying things like "I'm so horny" or "I need a relief ASAP," you're identifying with the beast voice. When you find yourself arguing with the Beast or doubting your decision to quit, you're in the grip of white-knuckling.
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In my own journey to recovery, I experienced these urges, cravings, and sensations. But rather than identifying with them and turning them into a struggle, I recognized them as signs of the Beast's distress, not mine. It was the Beast who was desperate and frustrated, not me. This recognition made these moments not just bearable but even satisfying, as they signaled that I was on the right track in my recovery.
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The power of these urges and cravings diminished with my Big Plan, my absolute decision to never indulge in the addictive behavior again. Even if you find yourself in a white-knuckling situation, remember that you can shift your perspective. Recognize that every thought encouraging the addictive behavior is coming from the Beast, and use the Recognition or Shifting techniques to help you dissociate from these thoughts and feelings. After that, reaffirm your Big Plan, stating firmly and clearly, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This firm commitment to your Big Plan will dispel all doubt, releasing you from the grip of white-knuckling.
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The Big Plan: Your Commitment to Freedom

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Taking a firm decision is a critical step in overcoming addiction, and this is what making a Big Plan entails. This plan is a complete commitment, devoid of room for negotiation or compromise. When you formulate a Big Plan, you're making a promise to yourself to never indulge in your addiction again, under any circumstances.
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Choosing a specific day for your Big Plan can help add a sense of occasion and finality to your decision. For instance, I personally chose a Sunday at 12am. Your Beast will likely agree to this arrangement, looking forward to a "last hurrah."
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But as you approach your chosen day to initiate your Big Plan, the Beast may start getting anxious. It may whisper, "I can't let this go!" or "Let's postpone the Big Plan, and enjoy this for now!" This is not your voice. It's the voice of the Beast, trying to make you delay your decision and panicking at the impending loss of its control.
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Your declaration for the Big Plan could be: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This phrase embodies the essence of the Big Plan — a firm, unyielding decision that signifies your commitment to stay addiction-free.
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In your journey to overcome addiction, the video I am about to share will be invaluable. It features Jack Trimpey, the founder of Rational Recovery, directly guiding you through the process of making a Big Plan. Although Trimpey focuses on alcohol and drug addiction in the video, his guidance applies to any addiction, including pornography and masturbation. Carefully absorb his words, understanding their relevance to your personal struggle.
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watch this video, skip to 33:39 for the Big Plan section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2YH8RLd_4&list=PLazOJVze5_z3BdcDSF3uPtN8Vu9VDqVJl&index=3where

Conclusion

I've spent a month compiling my experiences and sharing the tools that aided me on my journey. You are free to ask questions while I'm around, but please note that I'm not a regular Reddit user and won't be able to answer indefinitely. For those interested in Rational Recovery, all the information you need is in the "Useful Resources" section. If you found this post helpful, please consider upvoting or sharing it with friends who might benefit from it. Always remember to dissociate from the Beast and stand firm in your Big Plan. Holding unwavering trust in your decision is the key to defeating the Beast. May you embrace your journey to freedom and experience the liberation you've been longing for. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Useful Resources

Rational Recovery Book : https://www.amazon.fRational-Recovery-Cure-Substance-Addiction/dp/0671528580/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=rational+recovery&sr=8-1
AVRT Demonstration (AVRT Live Vol 1-5) : https://www.youtube.com/@DeborahSpringborn/videos