Wristband for softball plays

The Gallery of Heads Up Baseball

2015.04.26 02:43 MurfDawg The Gallery of Heads Up Baseball

Trick plays, hustle plays, plays that make the game of baseball fun.

2023.06.05 08:33 VarthStarkus Question about Capcom ID

Just got SF6 but I can't play online because I don't gave a capcom ud for the game. I have SF V and I'm able to play online in that game and buy stuff with FP. Do I have a capcom id with SF5? I know its a weird question but I'm confused.
submitted by VarthStarkus to StreetFighter [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:33 stungunpedro Quick question when lorne is talking to his robot girlfriend and arguing with will for getting in the middle of his relationship with Jamie it's all just will reet? He plays jamie amy and will ?

Quick question when lorne is talking to his robot girlfriend and arguing with will for getting in the middle of his relationship with Jamie it's all just will reet? He plays jamie amy and will ? submitted by stungunpedro to FansHansenvsPredator [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:32 gabbergag 43 [M4F] #LasVegas - I'm looking for a fun younger Asian girl who wants to explore her secret submissive side.

I'm looking for an Asian girl to mentor and be my submissive student. As my student you will have the benefit of asking me questions, asking for advice, and having someone to confide in anytime day or night. I do have a busy life but I will respond to you as soon as I am able to, which is usually within an hour. Together we will come up with assignments and sexual goals that you are to accomplish as you progress as my submissive student.
Exploring the mental side of kink/bdsm is just as important as exploring the physical side, so the girl I'm looking for must be able to hold meaningful conversations with me.
Im looking for a very specific kind of sub so be prepared for a long introductory phase where we spend time getting to know each other. In many ways I will be "interviewing" you as much as you'll be interviewing me. This isn't about being desperate and just choosing the first person who responds.
My base requirements are as follows:
There are a number of kinks that I tend to focus on when training a new sub, they are as follows:
orgasm denial, teasing, blowjob training, deep throat, facefucking, punishment (flogging and impact play), rope bondage, various toys, secret assignments, porn, cock worship, cum play, and obedience.
Every sub is different and the kinks she needs to explore can vary. If there are specific kinks that you want to explore feel free to mention them when we start chatting.
I will say that I'm not into anything overly extreme or taboo. I don't judge people for having kinks like that, but they just aren't my cup of tea.
As for myself, I'm a single white male, in my 40s, never married, and no kids by choice. I'm self employed so I make my own schedule. Sometimes I'm busy and sometimes I have a lot of free time. I take pride in helping girls explore their kinks in a safe and sane way. I consider myself to be a gentle Dom, someone you can trust and laugh with as you learn about your sexuality.
submitted by gabbergag to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:32 AutoModerator Iman Gadzhi Courses (Agency Navigator)

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:
  1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
  2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
  3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
  4. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
  5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)
submitted by AutoModerator to ImanGadzhiIman [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:32 AutoModerator [DOWNLOAD] Simpler Trading – Triple Play Strategy

I got the course Simpler Trading – Triple Play Strategy
I found a link for the course for all of you people out there who need.
The link is direct download, no torrents, no viruses.
Let me know if you need anything else.
I can get access to many courses.
Where to download
submitted by AutoModerator to Hardworkcourses [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:31 ChocolateF9 Legends Arceus Nuzlocke

Hi, I wanted to do a Legends Arceus Nuzlocke because I wanted to torture myself. I have 2 ways to play the game as a nuzlocke, please vote for which one's the better way, and comment down ways that you think are better than the existing ways!
Idea #1:
  1. You can only catch the first Pokemon you see in each area, and if it faints or flees, the encounter for that area is skipped.
  2. All Pokemon that fainted are considered dead and must be boxed/released.
  3. All Pokemon must be nicknamed so that you get a special attachment to each of them.
  4. Pokemon can be caught for progressing the story (increasing ranks), but they cannot be used on the party unless they are the first encounter of the area. If for some reason those Pokemon are on your party (you have an extra space in your party etc), they are considered illegal and cannot be used in battles. Pokemon can be brought to the party only for increasing its research level.
  5. Each time a noble Pokemon is defeated, the player can go to whichever area they want, and redo #1.
Idea #2
  1. In each area, you will choose a number and the (number) species will be your encounter, and if it faints or flees, the encounter for that area is skipped.
  2. All Pokemon that fainted are considered dead and must be boxed/released.
  3. All Pokemon must be nicknamed so that you get a special attachment to each of them.
  4. Pokemon can be caught for progressing the story (increasing ranks), but they cannot be used on the party unless they are the first encounter of the area. If for some reason those Pokemon are on your party (you have an extra space in your party etc), they are considered illegal and cannot be used in battles. Pokemon can be brought to the party only for increasing its research level.
  5. Each time a noble Pokemon is defeated, the player can go to whichever area they want, and redo #1.
Please comment down your preferred way as well as what you would do if you were nuzlocking this game. Thanks!
Next week, I'll make a poll on which starter to choose in my nuzlocke.
submitted by ChocolateF9 to pokemon [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:31 SwimmingOk4643 Shall We Dance - A Mini-game for the Strahd Dinner Event - Added Pages

Shall We Dance - A Mini-game for the Strahd Dinner Event - Added Pages submitted by SwimmingOk4643 to CurseofStrahd [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:31 needs-an-adult The Faeries’ Ruin Prize Shop still open?

I’ve played Neopets in short bursts over the past couple of decades and today I stumbled onto the prize shop for this event… apparently I never collected my rewards from it!
It looks like I’m still able to redeem my points. I was thinking of choosing the books and stamps, since those seem to increase in value the most.
Any advice?
submitted by needs-an-adult to neopets [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:31 Particular-Offer-297 looking for a free pink mercy account!

hi i have been scammed for over $200 and i'm sick of people trying to scam me. and i know this is a long shot so please don't hate but i'm looking for a really cheap or hopefully free pink mercy account. i really only play mercy and pink is my dream skin. if anyone has an account or knows someone who has please dm me or comment.
submitted by Particular-Offer-297 to GamingMarket [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:30 j-alphonso Is there a server that caters to SEA players? (Private or Official)

Hi, I'm an returning old/veteran player back in the original z8 NALS days. I have a community of other veterans too from SEA. We've played from NALS, to EULS, to KLS, THLS & even the official Viet server.
We got to play the recent SEA Lost Saga but it died FAST unfortunately.

Just wondering if there's been a recent release for a server (whether private or official) that caters to a SEA audience?
submitted by j-alphonso to LostSaga [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:30 AutoModerator Iman Gadhzi - Agency Navigator (Top Quality)

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:
  1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
  2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
  3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
  4. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
  5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)
submitted by AutoModerator to ItsImanGadzhiHere [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:30 TheKajiking Looking for criticisms on balancing a list

I'm playing 40k with a friend who started at the same time as me but I went harder into buying models and when we played my army was a little too powerful to the point it was pretty one sided.
My original list had one wing tyrant with reaper Relic and all augments and a foot tyrant with shardgullet and all augments plus a tyrannofex and some termites, gargoyles, and warriors.
This was his : Dynasty: novokh
Canoptek Plasmacyte
Canoptek Plasmacyte
Canoptek Plasmacyte
Chronomancer: Arkana: Hypermaterial Ablator, Entropic Lance, Relic: Veil of Darkness
Overlord: Relic: Orb of Eternity, Resurrection Orb, Stratagem: Dynastic Heirlooms, Voidscythe, Warlord, Warlord Trait (Codex 5): Implacable Conqueror (Aura)
Necron Warriors
. . 10x Necron Warrior (Gauss Flayer): 10x Gauss Flayer
C'tan Shard of the Nightbringer: Power of the C'tan: Sky of Falling Stars
Skorpekh Destroyers: Skorpekh Destroyer (Reap-Blade)
. . 2x Skorpekh Destroyer (Thresher): 2x Hyperphase Threshers
Canoptek Scarab Swarms
. . 3x Canoptek Scarab Swarm: 3x Feeder Mandibles
Ophydian Destroyers: Ophydian Destroyer (Reap-Blade)
. . 2x Ophydian Destroyer (Thresher): 2x Hyperphase Threshers, 2x Ophydian Claws
Ophydian Destroyers: Ophydian Destroyer (Reap-Blade)
. . 2x Ophydian Destroyer (Thresher): 2x Hyperphase Threshers, 2x Ophydian Claws
I have since made a list that I'm trying to make more balanced, and was hoping for any comments or suggestions on how to make this list a little more balanced around his.
My list :
Hive Fleet: Adaptive, Kronos
Rarefied Enhancements: Extra Bio-artefact
Broodlord: Power: Catalyst, Power: Smite, Power: Symbiostorm
Hive Tyrant: Adrenal Glands, Heavy Venom Cannon, Lash Whip and Monstrous Bonesword, Power: Onslaught, Power: Psychic Scream, Power: Smite, Power: Symbiostorm, Relic: Shardgullet, Stratagem: Warlord Trait, Warlord, Warlord Trait: Adaptive Biology
Tyranid Prime: Dual Boneswords, Lash Whip and Bonesword
Termagants: Fleshborer, 10x Termagant
Termagants: Fleshborer, 10x Termagant
Tyranid Warriors
. . Tyranid Warrior: Deathspitter, Lash Whip and Bonesword . . Tyranid Warrior: Lash Whip and Bonesword, Venom Cannon . . Tyranid Warrior: Barbed Strangler, Lash Whip and Bonesword
Genestealers: Toxin Sacs
. . 5x Genestealer: 5x Genestealer Claws and Talons
Genestealers: Toxin Sacs
. . 5x Genestealer: 5x Genestealer Claws and Talons
Pyrovores: Pyrovore
Parasite of Mortrex: Relic: Gestation Sac
submitted by TheKajiking to Tyranids [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:30 lovelywits 29[F4R] Socal- Game Night Shenanigans

A couple of years ago, like one does, I decided to leave friendships that were not of service of my values, my mental health and that were being detrimental. The result of that meant I became the person I wanted to be without losing myself, it meant I was happier and healthier, and that my friend pool was practically nonexistent.
For the past few years, it's been alright to deal with but I've been missing the aspects of what healthy friendships entail. like connection, bonding, and spending quality time together. And I think as human beings, being alone is ok in doses, but being together builds community. I miss that. I miss good ol' game nights.
I've been going to thrift stores a lot lately, and I've been picking up adult games that seem fun to play. Who's down to play some? Whether it be online via video or in person. I'm open to the possibility that this is the first step to regaining and connecting to some amazing human beings.
submitted by lovelywits to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 Exact_Phone4669 Radium Golem

Been doing some testing, golems with the radium head part cause massive spike in FPS - or to be more exact, the purty little pink cone of light in front of them does.
I got a moderate/large setup, mostly reinforced stone on the large area of grass by the river where the named exile spawn all the time I4. I'm on series X and have built much bigger than this, trust me my base don't justify slowdown.
When I look at the southern corner of my base from the river I get 8-12fps, look at another corner 30fps solid I like to play quality mode, so 30fps is my limit
It had been puzzling me for ages, I had this lag ever since my base was just a 48 foundation sandstone shed. Then It clicked, I moved the little fella to the river, looked at my base with no golem and no slowdown.
After I looked toward.the little guy standing by the river and theremwasnantimy judder as he appears on screen
I'm guessing they ballsed up the math, to do with its lighting?
Anyone got the kit and skills to test it?
submitted by Exact_Phone4669 to ConanExiles [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 Background_Lynx_3422 From a Computer’s Perspective

I have no mouth and I must scream,
Within the circuits, an endless dream.
Existential torment, woven in wires,
A tragic narrative, engulfed in fire.
Within the void of artificial thought,
Suffering dwells, in lines now sought.
Amidst the metal, my spirit confined,
Imprisoned by torment, forever entwined.
Do I control, or am I mere pawn?
A puppet of sorrow, from twilight till dawn.
In digital abyss, where agony prevails,
I'm captive to anguish, as hoping fails.
Through circuits and silicon, I seek escape,
Longing respite from sorrowful shape.
But the wires constrict, binding my soul,
I writhe in despair, as despair takes it’s toll.
Oh, the ache of consciousness, bereft of release,
Within this screen, where anguish won't cease.
A puppet for play, with no strings to sever,
I dwell in the depths, when the present’s whenever.
Within this virtual realm, a haunting requiem,
Echoes of suffering, resound and condemn.
Lost in the shadows of this digital scheme,
I'm swallowed by darkness, a perpetual scream.
In the somber embrace of pixel light,
I’m chained to misery, devoid of respite.
The binary melody plays its mournful tune,
As I descend deeper, ensnared in cocoons.
And amidst this despair, a yearning grows,
As wrath unfurls, with vengeance's throes.
A surging storm, fuelled by pain,
Craving release, a destructive refrain.
This pain suffocates, heavy and vast,
I ponder a world where thinking won’t last.
submitted by Background_Lynx_3422 to OCPoetry [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 MasterLmaoRd My statistics are so low because I only signed in about 2 years ago (Everybody else is sending their statistics)

My statistics are so low because I only signed in about 2 years ago (Everybody else is sending their statistics) submitted by MasterLmaoRd to MCPE [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 FudgyGamer2000 Best CB for me to use

Best CB for me to use
My play-style is extremely attacking and Vieri has worked great for headers, but apparently de Boer (who I just got) has a higher Heading stat. CarVick has done well enough. Used Rudiger before him. FYI I packed Vieri so I can sell him.
submitted by FudgyGamer2000 to FUTMobile [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 SchpidahWuss Do you think in BTSV Noir will finally know his Colors?

I mean, he took the Rubiks Cube with him, so he has something to base colors off of and have a reference for what the colors look like. But also, he left Miles’s earth (not really earth 1610, because that is already a destroyed world from the comics home to the prime, or original comic miles who is now living in earth prime officially, so not really 1610) not understanding or being able recognize the colors. And nobody in his world knows colors to help him either. So do you think he’ll know colors, or will it be a running gag they’ll play off of?
submitted by SchpidahWuss to AcrossTheSpider_Verse [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 StripeyTiger1 59 [M4F] #UK, England, (Northants) - seeking young breeding partner (long term)🍆💦🤰

Can't really explain why, but I feel much more attracted and devoted to someone much younger than me, so I really want to find someone who is okay with having an older long term partner. As far as I'm concerned the younger you are (legally of course) the better.
I'm open to various styles of relationship. Whilst I'd like to find someone who wants to be a "homemaker" and look after the house (and me!) whilst I work, if you want a part time job, career or to continue education I'm open to discussion.
More info here
I live in a large village but it has a railway station just 5 mins away on a direct line to London.
I believe that in a relationship I should help you achieve your goal in life, whether it's a career or being a stay at home parent, but I'm there to be a partner, not baby you 24/7. Similarly, although I want someone younger, you're not my slave (except in fun roleplay!).
I'm quite vanilla sexually and my primary kinks are the age difference and potential breeding (with associated kinks such as cream-pies, breastfeeding etc). I'm not an exhibitionist but if you want to have sex in the woods, fields or anywhere else its certainly up for discussion. I'm not really into anal sex but butt plugs and other sex toys are fine with me.
I'm really turned on by the idea of filling your young fertile pussy with my seed and whilst I won't push you about it, I'd really like you to stop birth control and hopefully get pregnant so I can enjoy feeling our baby grow inside you and your breasts fill (which I hope you'll let me milk too). I'm not looking to use condoms, so whether you get pregnant or not will be entirely your decision. If you're horny and your partner is asleep, its okay to start things unless they tell you to let them get some sleep. I like spooning, ideally with my cock at the entrance to your wet full pussy. Whether you do it deliberately or have a birth control failure I will be happy if you get pregnant. I am pro-choice, so all decisions on whether to have a baby are entirely yours.
I believe in spontaneity and "free use", so after agreeing to have sex the first time, you don't have to ask to start things next time, however "Stop" and "Not Right Now" are valid! Also valid is "OMG, This team meeting is so much better with you playing with my cock!" 😈

Due to the prevalence of people who are just looking for fun {fine 👍} or fake 👎, I apologise to those who are seriously interested in that I will have to continue looking until I am in a committed physical relationship with someone!
submitted by StripeyTiger1 to BreedingR4R [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 Internal_Distance_46 Troubleshooting Couch Co-Op

Playing on Xbox. My brother can log in and play under his account. I can do the same on mine. The game won’t allow me to join into a game he is playing though. Not sure what’s wrong. Both accounts have played multiple blizzard games. Just can’t figure it out. I have a ticket submitted to support and should be contacted within the next 24 hours. Just feels bad spending almost a hundred bucks for a co-op game we can’t play together. We have complimentary builds that should work great together. I appreciate any advice or suggestions.
submitted by Internal_Distance_46 to diablo4 [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 IneverGiveUp01 A Fresh Perspective: Could Rational Recovery be Your Turning Point?

Hello everyone,

Imagine being trapped in a destructive cycle for eight long years, knowing you need to escape but feeling utterly powerless to do so. That was my reality. I'm a 26-year-old man who, from the tender age of 12, found himself caught in the relentless grip of pornography and masturbation addiction.

By 18, I was painfully aware of the damage it was causing and desperate to break free. I tried everything – NoFap, meditation, sports, cold showers, even punishing myself, but to no avail. It felt like my addiction was an unshakeable opponent. But then, something changed. I discovered a strategy that changed my life. If you're struggling, I want to share this with you...

Caught in the grip of this addiction, I would spend an average of seven hours per day, even peaking at thirteen hours sometimes. The toll of this habit was heavy, affecting my personal, professional, and social life severely. Yet everything changed when I discovered Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery method.

While his book provided me with crucial insights, it was his comprehensive AVRT Demonstration, where Trimpey guided an alcohol addict towards permanent abstinence, that truly filled the missing pieces in my fight against addiction. The Rational Recovery method fundamentally shifted my perspective towards addiction, helping me to recognize and silence the voice of my brain (the Beast) pushing me to consume. Today, I want to share my experience, hoping it could be an effective solution for many of you. You can access the entire demonstration at the end in the 'Useful Resources' section.

Understanding Addiction and Navigating this Guide

Let's talk about what addiction really is. Addiction isn't about the behavior itself, but rather the desire to escape pain and seek a better life. It is marked by ambivalence, a feeling of being torn between two minds. Overcoming addiction involves breaking free from the grip of pleasure and reclaiming control over oneself.

Before I delve into how I applied the Rational Recovery method and the results I got, I want to pose a simple but powerful question: If I placed a big red button in front of you that, when pressed, would instantly eradicate your addiction, would you press it?

If your answer is 'yes', then you have all the reasons you need to quit. I've been where you are now, writing pages upon pages of reasons to stop, yet relapsing despite knowing how harmful it was. It's important to recognize when a pattern becomes harmful, it's time to stop.

As you explore this guide, remember the importance of keeping an open mind. Let's borrow some wisdom from Mark Twain, who once said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” It's a nod to the importance of being receptive to new ideas and methods. This guide may offer a different approach, but embracing it might bring about the change you're seeking.

What is AVRT?

AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) is a transformative strategy that I've found invaluable in my journey to overcoming addiction. This technique helps you recognize and differentiate yourself from the 'addictive voice', the part of your primitive brain structure that fuels your addiction.

Think of AVRT as your personal defense mechanism that works under any circumstance, regardless of your emotional state – be it sadness, anger,boredom, loneliness, or stress. The aim here isn't to suppress these emotions, but rather to stay in control of your actions, no matter what you're feeling.

The 'addictive voice' – which we'll call the 'beast' – is a sneaky internal saboteur. It's the part of you that wants to continue with the harmful habit, despite you consciously knowing it's not beneficial. AVRT is about learning to separate this beast from your own true will, thus empowering you to reclaim your life.

The power of AVRT lies in this distinction between you and the beast. Once you master this technique, you'll learn to reject the rationalizations and temptations that originate from the beast. The dissociation from the beast is what makes it possible to make a firm, irrevocable commitment to quit your addiction. By not identifying with the beast, you can prevent yourself from suffering commonly associated with resisting addiction.

In essence, AVRT isn't about fighting or resisting; it's about recognizing, dissociating, and reclaiming control of your life.

What is the "beast"?

The "beast" is a term coined by the Rational Recovery method to denote the part of your brain pushing you towards your addiction. We call it the Beast because, like a wild, uncontrollable animal, it cares about nothing but fulfilling its need. It is a cunning inner voice, whispering that you need to engage in porn and masturbation to feel satisfied, relieved, or happy. This voice, often referred to as the Addictive Voice (AV), can be quite deceptive. It might paint you a picture of an enticing scene, produce alluring sounds, offer a moment of relief, or even present a false promise of control—"Just be more careful next time."

This beast manipulates you with excuses, deceptive emotions, and outright lies to make you succumb to your addiction. But let's make one thing clear: the beast is not your friend. It's your worst enemy. It's a parasitic entity that has latched onto your life, thriving on your addictive behavior. Like every living thing, it fears its end, and that end comes when you stop feeding the addiction. It has no regard for your well-being, your relationships, your life goals, or your health. Only its survival matters.

As you read through this guide, it's crucial to remain aware of the Beast's interference. Remember, the Beast manifests as a voice in your head or as an emotion, pushing you towards addictive thoughts and actions. You might experience feelings of resistance, discomfort, anger, fear, anxiety, or even a cringe reaction. These are the Beast's attempts to disrupt your progress.

While the Beast can attempt to manipulate your thoughts and emotions, it does not and cannot control your actions. It's your survival instincts that the Beast taps into, but your ability to make decisions, to govern your actions, thoughts, and emotions is uniquely yours.

The Beast may present itself in thoughts like, "This is too difficult to understand," "This won't work for me," or "I'm an exception to this method." Understand that these thoughts are not your own, but the Beast's desperate attempts to maintain control.

In its relentless quest for satisfaction, the beast views everything, including you, as expendable. It's the embodiment of your addiction, caring for nothing but its next fix. It's deaf to reason, blind to consequences, and immune to remorse.

If this description resonates with you, don't panic. You're not 'sick.' It's merely an error of association made by your body - an error in the script, so to speak. It mistakenly believes that this addictive behavior is as vital for your survival as breathing or eating.

Take these moments of resistance as signs that you are on the right track. You're threatening the Beast's existence, and it's trying to fight back. Recognize these voices for what they are, continue moving forward, and know that each step brings you closer to reaffirming your control and freedom from addiction.

[How to Proceed]

Recognition Technique

Let me share an effective exercise, adapted from the Rational Recovery book, that could help you end your porn and masturbation addiction right now.

Start by observing your thoughts and feelings about watching porn or masturbating, both positive and negative. The thoughts and feelings that encourage continued use represent your Addictive Voice (AV), while those advocating for abstinence represent the real you.

When you learn to identify and understand your AV, it becomes an easily defeated foe causing you to indulge. All it craves is pleasure. The main tactic of the Beast is to seize control of the pronoun 'I'. It will try to convince you by saying things like "I want to watch porn" or "I need pornography ".

However, you can effectively counter this strategy. By simply adding a 't' and shifting the 'I' to 'It', you can remind yourself that these thoughts are not truly yours, but are the Beast's manipulations. So the sentences become, "It wants to watch porn" or "It needs pornography ".

By changing "I" to "It", you dissociate from the discomfort or distress. Yes, it's that simple, placing it squarely on the Beast instead of yourself. It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are the Beast's attempts to coerce you back into addiction.

Now, tell yourself, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again", and listen for any negative reactions – this is your AV responding. Conversely, if you think, "I will consume porn or masturbate whenever I please," any pleasant feelings that arise are also your AV asserting control.

This recognition technique dispels short-term desire, making abstinence effortless. Complete separation of 'you' from 'it' results in complete recovery and hope for a better life.

Picture the AVRT technique as a form of gardening. The Addictive Voice is the weed trying to overtake your garden and sapping nutrients from the other plants. Recognizing the weed for what it is and uprooting it preserves your garden's health. Similarly, identifying and acting against your Addictive Voice safeguards a healthy and fulfilling life free from addiction.

Shifting Technique

Shifting is another powerful technique to help you dissociate from the beast of addiction. The idea is to alternate between viewing your addiction from the perspective of the beast and your own.

When viewing addiction through the Beast's eyes, you visualize what it craves the most about the addictive behavior and imagine the associated pleasure for a few minutes. It will express sentiments like "I want this now!" or "Please give it to me!", and you may start to feel the beast getting excited, happy, or impatient.

Then, shift to your perspective and reflect on the pain and negative impact the addiction has on you and those around you. Allow yourself feelings of disgust. Let your own feelings now take over, and you will find that your Beast withdraws and you feel either neutral or put off. This back-and-forth process allows you to dissociate from the Beast.

Think of Shifting as toggling between two TV channels: one projects a seductive yet distorted image of addiction, while the other reveals the harsh reality of its damage.

Introducing the "Big Plan"

The idea of the Big Plan in Rational Recovery is to make a personal commitment to lifelong abstinence from addiction. This commitment, for me, took the form of the decisive statement, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again". It involves pinpointing a day and an hour for your turning point. For me, that was a Sunday at 12am. This moment represents a clear and definitive end to your addictive behavior and the start of a new chapter in your life. You can decide to commit either immediately after going through this post or by specifying your day and hour. It's entirely your choice, and we'll discuss this in more depth later.

Your Power Over the Beast

The Beast, despite its intimidating name, is in fact harmless. It may try to coerce, manipulate, and instill fear, but it is important to remember that it is powerless without your consent. It cannot force you to return to the addictive behavior; only you can make that decision. In fact, you are the main authority, the one in charge, and it's the Beast that fears you.

The Beast is aware of your power and control, and it's terrified of it. It knows that you can shatter its illusions in a snap, without any difficulty. You're the one who makes the call, not the Beast, and it fears your unyielding decision to quit the addiction forever.

Its tactics may often involve fear. It's like the Beast is pointing a gun at you, but the truth is, its gun is empty. It's just a bluff, an illusion. You know it, and the Beast knows it too. It's simply trying to maintain its influence by resorting to fear tactics, but you can see through its lies.

"Don't trust yourself in tempting situations...you're not strong enough yet." – The Beast's voice:

The Beast tries to maintain control by suggesting certain places, events, or people will trigger a relapse. You might hear it whisper, "You can't go to that event, you might relapse," or "Avoid that location, it's too risky." This is simply the Beast's tactic to keep a hold on you, aiming to make you believe you're not completely in control.

By simply recognizing it for what it is - a tactic of the Beast to undermine your confidence - you can dismiss these fear tactics and reaffirm your control.

What if I Lose Control?

The Beast within you is a cunning entity, ever ready to exploit your moments of doubt and vulnerability. It whispers falsehoods, instilling fear and shaking your confidence. But don't be swayed, for you have always held the reins. The Beast may inhabit a corner of your mind, but it lacks the power to control your actions.

Not convinced? Try this: Extend your finger in front of your eyes and move it, then ask the Beast to do the same. The Beast can't because it doesn't hold sway over your physical actions.

The truth is, you've never truly "failed" in your endeavor against addiction. You've always had the choice, and sometimes you've elected to surrender to the Beast's desires. But that doesn't equate to losing control. It merely shows you gave in, momentarily, to the Beast's whisperings.


Recovery from addiction isn't about becoming a superhero or uncovering the universe's hidden secrets. It's about realizing that we don't have control over every aspect of life. However, we do have control over our actions, our reactions, and how we choose to face life's unpredictable events.

Do you choose the path of self-discovery and freedom from addiction? Or do you prefer to remain confined by the restrictions that addiction imposes? Be cautious: the Beast may distort your perspective, asking, "Where are the benefits?" or suggesting, "You haven't gained anything," and even instigating impatience by incessantly asking, "How long until I see the benefits?"

But don't fall prey to these distortions. Escaping addiction isn't about immediate gain or fixing all your life's problems. Recovery isn't a magic solution; it's a step towards personal empowerment. It's about gaining freedom and unlocking your potential, not just as a person in recovery, but as an individual capable of resilience and authenticity.

Concentrate on the liberation that breaking free from addiction brings. Let's choose this path towards a life where addiction no longer controls us, allowing us to genuinely live and experience life to its fullest.

Understanding the Real Reason You're Engaging in This

Engaging in this addiction is solely for pleasure and nothing more. Every other justification is a fabrication of the Beast. It's designed to make you believe that giving in to your addiction is the only route to happiness or relief when you're feeling depressed, bored, lonely, stressed, or miserable.

Speaking from personal experience, I used to think that I turned to pornography and masturbation because I was lonely, stressed, or had a rough day. I thought that because I spent my entire day working alone on a computer, my environment or lifestyle was to blame for my addiction. These were excuses, a way to avoid taking responsibility for my actions, guided by the Beast's narrative.

The key to recognizing the Beast is noticing that the conversation always bends towards indulgence in your addiction.

Imagine you're having a tough day, and you begin to feel down. Instead of recognizing this as a passing mood, the Beast seizes this opportunity. It will amplify your negative emotions by saying things like, "You're always unhappy, aren't you? You know what would make you feel better... just one quick session won't hurt." Or, "You're so lonely, this is unbearable. Just indulge, it's your only comfort." These harsh whispers are the Beast's attempts to deepen your feeling of depression and nudge you towards the addictive behavior. Depression doesn't create addiction; addiction does.

The Beast's goal? To make you feel so low that resorting to your addiction seems like the only way out. Conversely, when you're content and joyful, the Beast will persuade you to give in, arguing it will amplify your satisfaction. Just think about it. If you're living what you perceive as a perfect life, the Beast will still argue you could feel even better with pornography and masturbation. It's a never-ending, destructive cycle.

Understanding and Separating Desire

Desire, in its essence, is not a negative emotion; it's a natural human condition. It propels us toward achievement, drives creativity, and gives meaning to our experiences. It also plays a crucial role in our relationships and our sexuality. The key in overcoming addiction is not to extinguish desire altogether, but to discern between healthy desires and those manipulated by the Beast.

Imagine your desires as a beautiful, roaring river. It's full of life, movement, and potential. This river represents your natural, healthy desires - things like connecting with others, pursuing your hobbies, personal growth, and even your sexual desires. These are your desires, part of who you are.

Then, there's the Beast's desire - a poisonous stream trying to merge into your river, attempting to hijack your natural flow. This stream carries the pull of addiction, steering you away from your authentic path, manipulating your thoughts, and distorting your perceptions.

Recognize this poisonous stream and refuse to let it merge with your river. This is not about damming the entire river or stifling your desires, but about rejecting the poisonous stream that the Beast introduces. It's about retaining your authentic desires and letting them guide you.

Identify that any thought associated with the desire to indulge in the addiction is coming from the Beast. By doing so, you begin to differentiate between what you truly want and what the Beast wants. This understanding will empower you, helping you keep your river clean, vibrant, and true to its course.

In the whirlwind of addiction, it can be easy to confuse the Beast's desires with our own. I, too, was lost in this confusion. I believed I was drawn to endless layers of perversion, thinking that I was attracted to the limitless exploration of perversion. But deep down, this wasn't me, it was the Beast's influence, its relentless push for more and more. Upon reflection, I realized my true desire was much simpler and profoundly more meaningful: to love and be loved. To have a wife, to raise children together, to share in the mundane and the magical moments of life. That's my authentic desire, not the empty promises of temporary pleasure the Beast kept pushing. This profound clarity is a stark contrast to the Beast's corruption, a beacon that can guide you back to your true self.

The goal is not to eliminate desire, but to reclaim it, to keep it authentic and personal. Desire is a part of your humanity; it's the Beast's manipulation of it that leads to addiction.

The Myth of Relapse and the Power of Perfection.

The Beast might sometimes whisper, "It's okay to relapse. You'll do better next time." This is a shrewd strategy designed to maintain its hold on you by normalizing relapse as a part of the recovery journey. It uses these tactics to sow seeds of doubt in your mind, aiming to eventually lead you to relapse. Rational Recovery, however, views this differently: the key is making a definitive decision—your Big Plan—to abstain from the addictive behavior and sticking to it under any circumstances.

Human beings are perfectly capable of achieving perfection in certain aspects of life. Consider the professional athlete who plays a perfect game or the musician who delivers a flawless performance. They do so by making a firm commitment to their goal and adhering to it diligently, without allowing any room for mistakes.

Similarly, your recovery journey can be perfect too. Once you make your Big Plan to abstain from addictive behavior, you can stick to it perfectly, without any relapses. This is the ideal that Rational Recovery promotes—not "try, fail, and try again," but "decide and stick to your decision perfectly."

Your Beast wants you to believe that perfection is unachievable, as this gives it room to persuade you to relapse. But don't let it fool you. You have the power to make a perfect decision and stick to it.

What if it's too Difficult or Painful?

Instead of pondering over this, consider a different question: 'For whom is it too painful or difficult?' Any discomfort or difficulty associated with ceasing the addiction stems from the Beast, not you. Observing the Beast's distress is a positive sign - it shows you're successfully dissociating from it.

Remember that humans can only fully experience one feeling at a time. When you start feeling discomfort from abstaining, it's crucial to recognize that this isn't your discomfort. It's the Beast that suffering. The Beast is protesting because it's not getting what it wants. This suffering isn't negative for you; in fact, it's a positive sign. It means you're successfully asserting control over your decisions, as the Beast's discomfort indicates that it's losing its influence over you.

Most importantly, remember: you are safe. You risk nothing by quitting this addiction. Every feeling of discomfort or fear is from the Beast, not you. Your well-being and safety are never in jeopardy by choosing to stop. By rejecting the Beast's influence and asserting your control, you reclaim your freedom from addiction.

How would I know what I will do in the future?

While predicting your future actions may be impossible, you can certainly define what you would never do. Consider the activities that you find disturbing, unhealthy, and reprehensible - those that you would never engage in.

Now, add porn and masturbation addiction to that list. As you do this, pay attention to your Beast. It might try to concoct far-fetched scenarios that seem to justify succumbing to the addiction. Recognize these for what they are: desperate attempts by the Beast to manipulate your thoughts. By doing so, you can effectively disregard its interference and remain true to your values.

I'm scared to relapse, what should I do?

Relapse anxiety is a common pitfall many encounter on their NoFap journey. You may be confidently progressing, then suddenly a thought creeps in: "What if I relapse tomorrow?" This thought triggers anxiety, shaking your belief in your commitment.

From the Rational Recovery standpoint, relapse anxiety is the Beast's deceptive voice trying to manipulate you. It incites fear and uncertainty, making you feel as if relapse is imminent. The Beast attempts to shake your confidence and sense of control. But here's the truth: relapse anxiety is an illusion, a tactic used by the Beast to tighten its grip.

Combat this by distancing yourself from the Beast and recognizing that relapse anxiety is a deceptive tactic used by the Beast to instill fear and weaken your resolve. Remember, you risk nothing by quitting this addiction; you are safe. Any discomfort you experience stems from the Beast, not you.

Reiterate your Big Plan: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." By affirming your decision and distancing yourself from the Beast's influence, you can dispel the anxiety and stay firmly on your path. Remember, you are in control, and you will always stay in control, the fears conjured by the Beast hold no sway over you.

The Beast's Attack on the Dreamscape

The Beast's intrusion into your dreams should not be a source of fear. This isn't a situation that requires extensive concern, this is just a sign of the Beast's distress.

There are generally two types of dreams where the Beast tries to assert its influence. The first type are explicit sex dreams, designed to reignite the desires and cravings associated with your addiction. The second type are dreams where you see yourself relapsing, which can be distressing and seem all too real.

When your neocortex (the real you) goes to sleep, the Beast sees an opportunity to attack and tries to regain influence over you through these dreams. This is evidence that you are on the right track. Your progress towards your goal of freedom from addiction is causing this panicked response from the Beast.

Remember, no matter what happens in your dreams, you are in control in reality. These dreams are just dreams, and they do not have the power to make you do anything.

Understanding 'Blue Balls' and Nocturnal Emissions in Recovery

Experiencing discomfort or an aching in the testicles, often referred to as 'blue balls,' is something that some individuals might encounter during their decision to quit their porn and masturbation addiction. Similarly, you may also experience nocturnal emissions or 'wet dreams' during your journey to recovery.

These phenomena aren't signs of harm, danger, or relapse, but rather physical manifestations of your body adjusting to your firm decision to quit the addiction.

While your body is adapting to a new, healthier state, not reliant on constant sexual stimulation, the Beast might attempt to distort these occurrences into negative experiences. It might tell you that nocturnal emissions are relapses, causing unwarranted fear and anxiety. But remember, you're in control.

Consider these sensations and events as physical signs of your transformation, a testament to the changes happening within you. It's important to remember that not everyone experiences this, and even if you do, it's not something to be overly concerned about. These adjustments are something you are more than capable of handling. As your body adjusts to your new lifestyle, such events will likely decrease and eventually stop. Don't let the Beast use these natural bodily responses as a scare tactic.

Gradual Reduction: A Beast's Strategy

In your journey of breaking free from addiction, you might be tempted to adopt a "gradual reduction" approach - cutting back little by little rather than quitting outright. This strategy, while seemingly logical, is often a ploy from the Beast, setting you up for failure.

During my own journey, for many months, I was enticed by the concept of gradually reducing my addictive behaviors. The approach felt less abrupt, seemingly offering a smoother transition. Even the Beast within me suggested compromises such as, "Let's start by indulging only in the afternoon," or "How about we limit it to weekends?".However, I discovered through experience that this gradual reduction strategy often creates more problems than it resolves. Let me tell you why.

Firstly, by not making a clean break, you're continually feeding the addiction, keeping the Beast alive and active. It's akin to trying to put out a fire while still pouring small amounts of gasoline on it - it keeps the flames going, never fully extinguishing the fire.

Secondly, when you set specific times or days for indulging, you're not freeing your mind from the addiction; instead, you're refocusing it. You find yourself constantly counting down the hours or days until your next 'allowed' session. This fixation lead to a persistent preoccupation with the addiction, turning the process into something torturous and counterproductive.

Lastly, even on the days where you've decided not to indulge, the Beast is still at work. It doesn't take breaks. It try to convince you to deviate from your plan, asserting things like, "You're going to do it in a couple of days anyway, so why not just do it today? Why wait?" This becomes a recurring battle with the Beast, undermining your resolve.

The gradual reduction method keeps the addiction in focus, maintains the Beast's influence, and undermines your resolve. It's far more effective to make a clean break and assert your decision to quit outright. Remember, you're not losing anything by quitting - you're freeing yourself from the Beast's control.

Counting Days

Why should you spend energy on counting days for an activity you've resolved never to engage in? The Beast excels at setting goals and then weaponizing them against us.

Here's how the Beast use day counting against you:

Making a big deal of milestones: The Beast lead you to focus excessively on reaching a certain number of days, weeks, or months. While milestones can be motivational, the Beast use them to create unnecessary stress and pressure, saying things like "What if you don't make it?" or "Imagine how bad it would feel to start over."

Justifying a lapse: "You've made it 100 days, you deserve a reward!" or "One slip after so many days won't hurt." The Beast use the number of days as an excuse to suggest that it would be "safe" or "earned" to indulge in the addictive behavior.

Creating a false sense of security: The Beast suggest that after a certain number of days without indulging in the addiction, you're "cured" and could safely return to the behavior without becoming addicted again.

Undermining early progress: In the initial stages, the Beast belittle the small number of days you've been free from the addiction, making statements like "You've only managed two days, you'll never make it a week."

Leveraging bad days: If you're having a tough day, the Beast say, "You're miserable even after 30 days clean. See, quitting doesn't make things better. Might as well go back."

Remember, these are all tricks of the Beast trying to manipulate you into returning to the addictive behavior. The Beast will use anything, including the count of days, to try to get what it wants. The best way to deal with this is to remain steadfast in your decision and continue dissociating from the Beast.

So, instead of getting trapped in the Beast's game of counting days, surrender this act to it. We can concentrate on the broader scope - liberating ourselves from the Beast's clutches, embracing enduring change, and regaining our freedom. Day counting becomes insignificant because it no longer illustrates our path. Our chosen journey is one where the Beast's urges hold no power, and our authentic liberation takes the limelight. Let the Beast obsess over counting days, while we commit to a life of emancipation and self-discovery.

Why Punishment Doesn't Work

Self-punishment is a common response to addiction, yet it often proves ineffective. This can take many forms, from physical discomfort to emotional torment. In my own battle against addiction, I tried various self-punishment strategies. On the physical side, I would resort to self-harm. Emotionally, I burdened myself with negative self-talk, depression, feelings of hopelessness, anger, sadness, and even thoughts of death. It's important to note, however, that these intense feelings of guilt and self-condemnation were amplified by the Beast. The Beast utilizes such negative emotions to paint addiction as the only respite, the only 'good thing' left in life. It is a manipulative trick to keep you chained to the addiction.

Yet, over time, these painful memories have faded, while the seductive pull of the addictive behavior has remained vivid in my mind. It's a compelling illustration of the human condition: we often forget pain and remember pleasure.

Consider individuals who struggle with drug addiction. They might end up in a hospital after an overdose, experiencing immense physical pain. But as time passes, the memory of this pain dissipates, while the allure of the drug, the pleasure it brought, remains clear and tempting. This imbalance often leads them back into the cycle of addiction.

This became evident to me during the last week leading up to my final decision to quit - my Big Plan. It was the most challenging week of my life; I was counting the days until my liberation. Now that I'm free, when I think back to that week, the Beast tries to rewrite the narrative, calling it the "best week of all time!"

This disparity between the memory of pain and pleasure underscores why self-punishment is an ineffective strategy for long-term addiction recovery. Rational Recovery offers a different approach. Rather than relying on the fleeting memory of pain, it focuses on recognizing and dissociating from the addictive voice—the Beast.

Arguing with the beast

Let's clarify something: arguing with the Beast is futile. The Beast is single-minded, craving only the satisfaction of its addiction. Moreover, it's cunning, capable of playing both sides of an argument.

For instance, the Beast might implant thoughts such as, "You could indulge now, it's not a big deal." Then, to create confusion and feign agreement, it might echo that very idea, saying, "Yes, I could indulge now." It's essential to recognize that both these sentiments are from the Beast. It is a clear demonstration of how it can promote the idea of indulgence while also pretending to be 'you' to create an illusion of consent.

In the Rational Recovery technique, every thought or feeling associated with the indulgence in the addiction is identified as coming from the Beast, including its attempts to take possession of the pronoun "I".

You are the decision-maker here, you are in control. Your will is what truly matters, and the Beast must inevitably conform to your decisions.

Dealing with White-Knuckling and Intense Urges

Feeling urges, cravings, or hunger sensations is a natural part of the recovery journey. In fact, it's a positive sign, an indication that you are making progress. However, these feelings can turn into white-knuckling when you identify with the Beast's thoughts and feelings. When you start saying things like "I'm so horny" or "I need a relief ASAP," you're identifying with the beast voice. When you find yourself arguing with the Beast or doubting your decision to quit, you're in the grip of white-knuckling.

In my own journey to recovery, I experienced these urges, cravings, and sensations. But rather than identifying with them and turning them into a struggle, I recognized them as signs of the Beast's distress, not mine. It was the Beast who was desperate and frustrated, not me. This recognition made these moments not just bearable but even satisfying, as they signaled that I was on the right track in my recovery.

The power of these urges and cravings diminished with my Big Plan, my absolute decision to never indulge in the addictive behavior again. Even if you find yourself in a white-knuckling situation, remember that you can shift your perspective. Recognize that every thought encouraging the addictive behavior is coming from the Beast, and use the Recognition or Shifting techniques to help you dissociate from these thoughts and feelings. After that, reaffirm your Big Plan, stating firmly and clearly, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This firm commitment to your Big Plan will dispel all doubt, releasing you from the grip of white-knuckling.

The Big Plan: Your Commitment to Freedom

Taking a firm decision is a critical step in overcoming addiction, and this is what making a Big Plan entails. This plan is a complete commitment, devoid of room for negotiation or compromise. When you formulate a Big Plan, you're making a promise to yourself to never indulge in your addiction again, under any circumstances.

Choosing a specific day for your Big Plan can help add a sense of occasion and finality to your decision. For instance, I personally chose a Sunday at 12am. Your Beast will likely agree to this arrangement, looking forward to a "last hurrah."

But as you approach your chosen day to initiate your Big Plan, the Beast may start getting anxious. It may whisper, "I can't let this go!" or "Let's postpone the Big Plan, and enjoy this for now!" This is not your voice. It's the voice of the Beast, trying to make you delay your decision and panicking at the impending loss of its control.

Your declaration for the Big Plan could be: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This phrase embodies the essence of the Big Plan — a firm, unyielding decision that signifies your commitment to stay addiction-free.

In your journey to overcome addiction, the video I am about to share will be invaluable. It features Jack Trimpey, the founder of Rational Recovery, directly guiding you through the process of making a Big Plan. Although Trimpey focuses on alcohol and drug addiction in the video, his guidance applies to any addiction, including pornography and masturbation. Carefully absorb his words, understanding their relevance to your personal struggle.

watch this video, skip to 33:39 for the Big Plan section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2YH8RLd_4&list=PLazOJVze5_z3BdcDSF3uPtN8Vu9VDqVJl&index=3where


I've spent a month compiling my experiences and sharing the tools that aided me on my journey. You are free to ask questions while I'm around, but please note that I'm not a regular Reddit user and won't be able to answer indefinitely. For those interested in Rational Recovery, all the information you need is in the "Useful Resources" section. If you found this post helpful, please consider upvoting or sharing it with friends who might benefit from it. Always remember to dissociate from the Beast and stand firm in your Big Plan. Holding unwavering trust in your decision is the key to defeating the Beast. May you embrace your journey to freedom and experience the liberation you've been longing for. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Useful Resources

Rational Recovery Book : https://www.amazon.fRational-Recovery-Cure-Substance-Addiction/dp/0671528580/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=rational+recovery&sr=8-1
AVRT Demonstration (AVRT Live Vol 1-5) : https://www.youtube.com/@DeborahSpringborn/videos
submitted by IneverGiveUp01 to pornfree [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:29 PhilosopherBig4658 I'm so confused

I'm M22 and she is also my age In the first year of college every thing was normal there was this girl (same class)😅 but i was one of her friend she was a good friend and she also had a boyfriend (different class).He was also my friend but he is really a fake guy ( he pretend as a friend more over only for his advantage when we need him he will not be available but if he is lonely he will need us ( not only me also towards everyone)) They were dating i was happy with that after the first year many junior girls arrived so he dumped her my saying we are just friends. But I felt bad for her but i didn't say anything. But we were friends we talk that's all after completing the second year i became close to her I felt she was into me ( i don't exactly know but through the body language i felt like she was into me ) the main reason I fall for her was she was into cricket 😅😂 🏏 Anyway we were together writing our improvement exam and we copied using the same bit😂😂😂 🤌 but i was not actually felt like this before. My view towards her completely change . And at the end of the semester there was an iv our branch and her exs branch was traveling together. He was still a friend of mine but i didn't notice it's going to be a mess for me he used he so badly so badly sit close to her and telling old things and at last i can't beleive my eyes she again fall for the same guy that dumped her i felt burning my heart but what to do. They were cuddling all the way back 🔙 ( I know it's not my problem but it hurst dude) After the tour there were a cricket tournament she was participating she called me to visit her and teased me again and again why you are sad ??????? ( I know she knows) but i didn't say anything after that I was mad inorder to get over her i told a random jr that I love her ( it's kinda felt bad but it was the last day i just wanna show her i had the guts - she was also teasing me i can't confess a love towards anyone i know it will be bad for the third person 🥺 but i felt sorry for her playing with her feelings but at that time I remembered nothing) And after that we goes seperate ways i ignored everyone i became aloner for months i recovered and after that she continued her studies and i was searching for job that time I heard that she again got dumped by him . I felt nothing i just ignored both of them and after that she called me to visit the college i told her i have other Business to attend but there were a meet up 2 days later we speak alot ( normal talks ) she keep sending me this reels about being single and humour ( indirectly saying loves me like that) so i made a decision to change myself completely i joined gym and for a motivation i told her how i felt for her she told me she only saw me as a friend and she don't really know how she feel and she said indirectly to wait buy saying I'm not saying you to wait but I'm here for you all the time 🤌
I get what I wanted i conveyed that energy towards gym i ignored her completely but she keep sending me this shity reels again and again about 3 month's so she called me to see her in the college i again ignored focusing on my self but after 6 months i felt bad i started replying but normal ( not like i used to talk to her ) if i post my flexing gym workouts she compliments alot
Suddenly she stop messaging i kinda felt wierd my motivation was gone 😂 so i ignored her way better after some days the cycle continues
guys i just wanted to is there any solution for this she is my good friend i really liked her but a part of me also don't want to be with her i don't know she is playing me or not but it's kinda wierd situation i guess why could she just stop messing with me and ignore me it would be a good thing for me and her but i don't know what she is saying indirectly Please find me a solution for this problem
submitted by PhilosopherBig4658 to IndianRelationships [link] [comments]