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Hi Guys,
In just under a month on Thursday the 20th of April, 2023, the people of Western Australia, Timor-Leste, and parts of Indonesia will be able to witness a rare astronomical event - a Total Solar Eclipse. During this event, the Moon will block out the entire disc of the Sun for 62 seconds. This is an incredibly rare occurrence and the first time that it will happen in Western Australia since the 20th of June 1974. The schedule for the eclipse in Exmouth is:

Phase	Time
Partial begins	10:04:31 am
Full begins	11:29:48 am
Maximum	11:30:17 am
Full ends	11:30:46 am
Partial ends	1:02:34 pm

The Total Solar Eclipse will allow astronomers to study the Sun's Corona and Chromosphere. The Corona is the outermost layer of the Sun's atmosphere, made up of hot, ionized gas that extends far beyond the visible surface of the star. The temperature in this region can reach millions of degrees Celsius, making it one of the hottest places in space. Studying the Sun's Corona is essential for understanding how stars interact with their environment and how they evolve over time. It also provides astronomers with an excellent opportunity to study the magnetic fields and how they shape the Corona as well.
There are four types of Solar Eclipses: Total, Annular, Partial, and Hybrid. The Ningaloo 2023 Solar Eclipse is special because it is a rare "Hybrid Eclipse." A hybrid eclipse is a type of solar eclipse that looks like an annular solar eclipse or a total solar eclipse, depending on the observer's location along the central eclipse path. Observers in Exmouth will witness a Total Solar Eclipse during the 62 seconds of darkness as the Moon casts a 41km wide path over Western Australia's Northwest Cape into darkness.
Total Solar Eclipses occur somewhere on Earth about every 18 months. However, experiencing the Sun's corona appearing around the black shadow of the Moon is the highlight of a Total Solar Eclipse event. During totality, the day will become almost night so the stars and planets become visible, the air temperature drops and animals may change their behaviour. In ordinary daylight, the corona of the Sun isn't visible, but it can be seen during a Total Solar Eclipse, it looks like a white halo.
For those who are lucky enough to witness this extraordinary event, it will be an unforgettable experience. However, there are some important tips that people should keep in mind while preparing to witness this rare event. Firstly, never look directly at the Sun with the naked eye as it can cause permanent eye damage, it's worth reading the American Astronomical Society's web page on eye safety and solar eclipses. Secondly, make sure to have reputable solar eclipse glasses. The Perth Observatory ($2.50 each), and Binocentral in Joondalup are recommended for purchasing these glasses.
There is still some accommodation up in Exmouth. The Ningaloo Eclipse website and the Exmouth Solar Eclipse Facebook group page, are excellent for planning your stay up they. Additionally, Time and Date has a great page for details about the eclipse itself. They are expecting between 10,000 to 50,000 people, so it's best to come prepared with food, water, spare tyres, oil, and fuel for the car, as towns may run out of these items. Visitors should also ensure that their car is serviced before the trip and you should avoid parking on long grass when you’re up there to avoid starting fires.
It is important to note that there are many mobile blackspots up north, and visitors should bring first aid kits and an Emergency Personal Locator Beacon just in case they get into trouble. It's best to have a Telstra prepaid sim card if you normally have an Optus or Vodafone sim in your phone. SpaceX's Starlink (Superfast satellite broadband internet) is also now available for the road (https://www.starlink.com/rv) and you can use it now in the Exmouth region. It's also 50% off the hardware currently. it is recommended to space out the trip as it is a long drive to the area.
Perth Observatory will also have a team going up to Exmouth for the Eclipse to live stream the eclipse with our friends at Time and Date, but we will be leaving early to do astronomy nights along the way with Astrotourism WA.

Date	Location	Register
14th of April	Dalwallinu (Dalwallinu Recreation Centre)	Flyer
15th of April	Morawa (Gutha Hall)	Register Here
16th of April	Murchison (Community Town Hall, Murchison Settlement)	Register Here
17th of April	Mullewa (Mullewa Recreation Centre)	Register Here
19th of April	Bullara Station (For people booked there)	No Link
22nd of April	Gascoyne Junction (Gascoyne Junction Town Pavilion)	Register Here
23rd of April	Useless Loop (Useless Loop Primary School)	No Link
24th of April	Dongara	Flyer

Astrotourism WA has two other teams doing astronomy nights, so we'll be doing astronomy around most of Western Australia:

Date	Location	Register
31st of March	Lake Grace (Jam Patch Nature Reserve)	Register Here
3rd of April	Chittering (Lower Chittering Hall)	Register Here
5th of April	Wickepin (Wickepin Community Centre)	Register Here
8th of April	Narembeen (Narembeen Recreation Centre)	Register Here
11th of April	Bakers Hill (Bakers Hill Recreation Centre)	Register Here
12th of April	Wongan Hills (Wongan Hills Airport)	Register Here
13th of April	Mingenew (Mingenew Recreation Centre)	Register Here
14th of April	Cervantes (Cervantes Community Recreation Centre)	Register Here
14th of April	Greenough (Central Greenough Cafe and Visitor Centre)	Register Here
16th of April	Denham (Shark Bay Recreation Centre)	Register Here
17th of April	Carnarvon (Carnarvon Space & Technology Museum)	Register Here
21st of April	Onslow (Onslow Foreshore)	Register Here
22nd of April	Perenjori (Perenjori Caravan Park)	Register Here
23rd of April	Carnamah (MacPherson Homestead)	Register Here
26th of April	Darkan (One Gate Farm Nature Camp)	Register Here
28th of April	Narrogin (Thomas Hogg Oval	Register Here

Exmouth does have three astronomy nights on the 19th, 20th, and 21st of April, and also has the 2022 Astrofest Astrophotography Exhibition for the whole of April at the Tantabiddi Gallery in the Ningaloo Centre, which is free to see. For more info on these events and more, visit the Ningaloo Eclipse website's event page
If you can't get into Exmouth, Onslow and Carnarvon are also going to be very good places to see the eclipse and If you can't leave Perth, don't worry, you'll get a partial eclipse where the Moon will cover 70% of the Sun. If you do miss out completely, don't worry, Western Australia will get 5 Total Eclipses in the next 50 years:

• 22nd of Jul 2028 - Partial Solar Eclipse in Perth (Total Eclipse path goes through North WA)
• 13th of Jul 2037 - Partial Solar Eclipse in Perth (Total Eclipse path goes over Geraldton)
• 26th of Dec 2038 - Partial Solar Eclipse in Perth (Total Eclipse path goes over Onslow)
• 17th of Dec 2066 - Partial Solar Eclipse in Perth (Total Eclipse path goes over Margaret River, Augusta, Denmark, and Albany)
• 31st of May 2068 - Total Solar Eclipse in Perth

If you're experiencing your first total solar eclipse, it's best to fully immerse yourself in the moment with your loved ones during totality. Consider disconnecting from technology such as mobile phones and tablets to fully appreciate the breathtaking event unfolding in the night sky. The experience is truly awe-inspiring, and it's likely to leave a lasting impression on you. After totality, you may find yourself eagerly anticipating the next opportunity to witness such a stunning celestial display. So, be present, embrace the magic of the eclipse, and let it move you.
I hope this info helps you all.

Saturday 18/03/2023 was my last J. I can't sleep anymore.
I used to have no problem getting to sleep but now I find it impossible to fall asleep and then when I do I wake up in the middle of the night for hours. A few days ago I went to bed at 11pm and woke up at 3.30am and didn't get back to sleep until an afternoon nap at 5pm for 2hrs. Last night I was up between 2am-5am.
It's like weed would empty my brain and let me sleep, where as now there's just so much going around and around in my head.
I used to have a J at 8pm, watch cartoons for about 10 minutes before falling asleep on the sofa, waking up around 2am, moving to bed, then sleeping until 8am. Before that I was in a different job so I'd be asleep at 9/10pm and up at 6am without weed.
How long before other people's sleep went back to normal?

Hello, so my father(age50+) who's ethnicity is Russian but living in Estonia is very supportive of Putins war. He created for himself this alternative reality where he portrays my country(Estonia) as fascist which fucking drives me insane. Tried having a conversation with him on the topic and just see how flawed his perception of the world around him is.
His argument was, he showed me a grave that was made to some Nazi regiment in the 2 WW that tried to help Estonia claim independence in 44´. The logo for the regiment on the grave was Estonian freedom cross. Freedom cross is also portrayed on Estonian Freedom Square in the Center of the Capital Tallinn. Hence Estonia is a Nazi Country. My argument, since the Estonian freedom Cross was founded in around 1914-1918 when Estonia gained it´s independence from the Tsarist Russia the argument is invalid, because the cross itself represents freedom and these Nazis used this as their logo in the year 44´. So like the topic has layers and depth to it. Second argument to which I did not respond was that my generation has forgotten what was the sacrifice of the 2 WW made by my predecessors and Russian overall. Here I sensed that there is no point in arguing because now shit got emotional for him. So like yes my family has suffered under Nazis, but also at the hands of the communists?(which he probably tries to ignore though in the past he has condemned commies stating that they have done nothing good). Yes 20M Soviets died in the 2WW. I understand that And well call me a Psycho but IDGAF. It was 80 years ago, This is a new age, I know the suffering that was made back then and all I can do is remember and try to influence the world not to go to a 3rd one. And also You fucking Bitch - the governments of today is ruled by the people with a median age of like 50+, you biden being 80 and putin 70. You are the generation that has ignored it.
Anywho thanks for reading. 26yrs, M, estonian

Matched with lady at the beginning of last week. Had a week of multiple messages daily through the app and we seem to get along great. She mentioned in her profile that she owns a cabin in a area quite far away where she enjoys spending her time. In the chat she reveals she's going to the cabin next week ( so this week now).
After both stating we want to do a quick meeting she says it will be a bit hard planning since she has her kids. I say it is no big deal and we can schedule something when she's back from her trip to the cabin because she will start working at an office in my city anyway. ( After working from home up till now). She comes back she want to plan something before she goes away for the week. I say cool, you just suggest something which fits you the best. She makes a suggestion for a coffee date at saturday halfway to which I happily agree. The date went very good and even though we're both introverts we have a really nice 1,5 hour. Lots of talking both seriously and laughing. Great. I sent her a message through the app afterwards that I feel a connection and want to go ahead and explore and go on dates in the near future when she's back. She agrees.
Next day Sunday she will be travelling and she had stated in one of her texts and verbally during the date that it is about 650 km to the cabin and a 8 hour drive which she does not like driving. I sent her a message wishing her a save trip and also ask if we can go to another app since I have my notifications for the dating app turned off and I don't want to miss her messages. I specifically stated only when she's comfortable with this and no pressure. I don't hear from her till later in the evening with a short message that she's really tired and will answer tomorrow ( yesterday on monday).
Monday comes and no messages till the evening. Asking how my day was. Stating hers was cool with activities and no she is not comfortable yet in sharing her number. I say that is cool ( which it really is). Nothing further.
Now the thing I do I sometimes go through the profile again to see if there are some talking points to use in our convos. I then notice ( already on Sunday) that the distance indicator is at 450 km which is significantly differently than stated by her. This stays the same up till now. Now offcourse it is non of my business what's she's doing but I just wonder why this is.
Maybe she's seeing a friend or family on her way to the cabin? But then I think she would have mentioned. Or it could be a competitor which she ( understandably) does not want to reveal and she is already a bit further in the dating process with. But why insist in doing a date before this week then? Why not wait and hold me off till after this week? BTW she was the one swiping on me first.
I use the distance as a vetting tool in profiles to see if their stories match the data so to speak. So if they state they work nearby or live nearby I check this against the distance and never have seen such a difference
Again it is none of my business but I wonder if anyone else seen this or has another explanation?

Hi friends! I submitted a diary in February 2021 that you can find here! Since then we’ve sold one house, started higher-paying jobs, moved states to be closer to family, rented a kind of busted house, bought another charming fixer-upper of a house, and given in fully to lifestyle creep, especially when it comes to plants and gardens.
❤️ Section 1: Assets and Debt
Total Net Worth: $108,763 if you believe the equity calculator I reference below. Negative tens of thousands if you think the housing market is about to crash or even just reset!
Retirement Balance: $10,000 for me, split just about evenly between a Roth and a 401k; $25,500 for my husband, L. This will make more sense when you get to the “income progression” section, and after you accompany me as I spend money like I have money to spend, every day.
Savings Account Balance: $17,000 split between an “upcoming house repairs & dental fund.” The first $7k is spoken for already between a big chimney repair ($3k) and an expensive upcoming dental appointment for L ($4k), both in April. The remaining $10k we don’t touch – it’s for an emergency fund.
Checking Account Balance: $1000ish. I try to keep this pretty low to discourage my own spending, which works only sometimes.
Credit Card Debt: $12,100 left from our home renovations and move last October. We got two 0% APR cards to finance this, and will pay both off before the APR jumps at the end of this year.
Student Loan Debt: $80,000 for L’s undergrad and MAT. $18,000 for my undergrad and (unfinished, womp womp) MAT. We aren’t paying on this til we have to, and are hoping it will be forgiven – mine via Biden, since I was a Pell Grant recipient, and L’s via PSLF.
Equity: $145,000. This number is from an online equity calculator, and is for our century-old house in a very walkable neighborhood in a popular Southern city, but who knows whether it’s real or not. Numbers that are real: We paid $570,000 for the home last fall, including a 20% down payment that my dad split evenly with us – his portion from his recent inheritance, our portion from the sale of our previous home.
When we started looking in 2021, our “stretch budget” was $450k, but the housing market exploded and it seemed like overnight the base budget for kind of place we were looking for was more like $650k (I’m committed to city living, and we wanted to make sure there was enough space for my sister, J, and her boyfriend to continue living with us, given the skyrocketing rent prices). We bit the bullet on this place after my dad offered to pay for half the down payment. That gift helped us avoid PMI, so that the rent we were paying for a worse place was comparable to the monthly payment on this one. We spent the remaining $15,000 from our previous home sale buying down the rate and on moving costs, repairs, furnishing, gardens, appliances, etc, and then still took out about $12,000 more in credit card debt to renovate the bathrooms and make a few other upgrades.
❤️ Section 2: Income
Monthly Take Home: My base pay is $125,000, and L’s is $55,000. We bring in about $11,400 a month after taxes. The whole family’s health insurance is paid in full by my work, and our pre-tax retirement contribution details are below.
Income Progression: I’ve been working since I was 15 years old, moved out at 18, and paid my own bills starting that year, but income below starts the year I graduated college.
Year 1: $15,000 (part time ABA therapist, full time baby anarchist)
Years 2-8: $28,000 (This is a rough average of my income across these years. I accepted a spot in Teach for America right out of college in order to have a salary, despite my maximalist politics at the time, and kept working with young people for years after my TFA service ended. I paid for L’s expenses in college and supported a few other family members off and on while I taught. When I took a big pay cut to do youth organizing work for a couple years, L’s teacher salary helped support us).
Year 9: $45,000 (got a full-time nonprofit fundraising job, quit teaching)
Year 10: $55,000 (got a raise)
Year 11: $65,000 (got a raise and promotion)
Year 12: $75,000 (was promoted again, realized I was still underpaid)
Year 13: $98,000 (was hired by my current employer)
Year 14: $125,000 (was promoted!)
❤️ Section 3: Expenses
Mortgage, Taxes, & Insurance: About $3,000. My sister and her boyfriend currently live with us and contribute $600 of this total payment each month, but we budget as if we pay the full mortgage ourselves.
Investment Contribution: L’s retirement is pulled out of his check before he receives it: it’s $289 a month. I put $170 into my 401k, directly out of my check. I also contribute $100 to a Roth IRA through Acorns each month. Through Acorns we also have a UTMA/UGMA account for B which gets $100 a month, and we put $40 a month into a taxable brokerage account.
Savings Contribution: We tally an extra $1.5k-$3k a month beyond expenses, and are expecting $6k back from our tax return this year. But we aren’t prioritizing savings right now, and instead are: 1. cashflowing L’s timely dental work (found out in the course of this diary that we’re looking at about $11k this year); 2. paying down the debt on our credit cards ($12k, see above); and 3. cashflowing a few must-do house projects (estimating about $8k total for those).
Debt Payments: See above! As I mentioned, we have student loan debt to the tune of $100k but aren’t paying right now. I actually paid my loans down by $10k during COVID with money from our first house sale. But I panicked when Biden said he was going to forgive loans and got my full payment during the pandemic – all $10k – reversed. That money is now our emergency savings account.
Electric/Gas: $150ish, varies significantly. We installed a high-efficiency wood stove when we moved in, which cuts down on the cost of our old furnace a bit.
Internet: $80
Water: $75
Cellphone: $100, for L & I both
Subscriptions: $10 Spotify; $10 Youtube music; $2.99 Apple data; $22 NYT, for newspaper and cooking app; $5 for Acorns. I also pay yearly: $40 for the Freedom app, $20 for Hobnob, and $60 for Insight Timer.
Car Payment and Insurance: $200 for insurance. This covers both of our used cars and my dad’s used handicap van. We paid off our 2012 Honda Fit when we sold our last house, and recently paid cash for a Honda CRV with 180k miles which we use for family trips.
Medical/Therapy: $0. My therapist is $181 a session, and I see her twice a month – but this is covered by my job’s MERP card. I also get an inhaler at least twice a month - that’s reimbursed too, but would cost $60 otherwise.
Pet Expenses: Our precious pittie suffered some injuries before we adopted her. She’s on Gabapentin daily for pain management which is about $60 a month.
CSA: $40/week minimum – this is a special CSA service that has all kinds of tempting goodies, so I usually spend more.
Coworking space: $150. I expense $100 of this to work.
Gym memberships: $75 for a family Y membership, and $120 for my spin studio; I also buy 10-packs to the yoga studio down the street every few months, which are $120 a pop.
Donations: Varies. We give $10 monthly to our local Democratic Socialists of America and $10 monthly to the Working Families Party. We give one-off donations when asked or when we come across a need, usually $50-$100 at a time. Once we have less immediate debt, I plan to up our recurring gifts.
Childcare: $600. B goes to the best public preschool in the land – he was on the waiting list for 18 months. We previously paid double this for a subpar Montessori school run out of a church basement. Often babysitting is an extra $100 or so a month.
Kids’ Activities: $120 every three months or so – think swim lessons, toddler soccer, etc.
Outdoorsy memberships: $110 yearly for memberships to nonprofit parks, botanical gardens, etc etc. These are not too expensive and a fun way to spend a day with little ones.
House cleaner: $320. They come twice a month and charge $160 each time. This is some of the best money I spend each month.
Nuuly: $94. This has been a gamechanger for work travel.
❤️ Section 4: Money Diary
✨DAY 1: TUESDAY✨
5:00 am: I wake up wheezing with two pudgy legs draped right across my chest. My three-year-old, B, gave me a cold that I’ve just recovered from, but my asthma is still a bit aggrieved. I disentangle myself from B and head downstairs to make a french press and get some work in before everyone’s up.
6:30 am: B comes running downstairs, naked and boisterous as ever. I spare a thought for my little sister, J, and her boyfriend, who share a wall with him. J and her boyfriend have been living with us since the deep pandemic when we all moved together, which has been a blessing for us. But the early mornings and constant circulating upper respiratory infections are doing them in, and they’re moving to a nearby apartment in May. This very basic apartment one-bedroom will double their monthly rent D: And, since J is finishing up school right now and doesn’t have a steady income, L and I had to cosign their lease in order for them to even qualify for the place. Big sigh on housing across America right now.
7:15 am: B and L head out, and I get dressed and do a little more work. At 8:30, I head to my first-ever dermatologist appointment. My mom recently treated me to a mothedaughter facial where I learned that the creeping redness on my nose is likely hereditary rosacea! The facialist suggested I make an appointment with a dermatologist after I informed her that my skincare routine has to date involved only a wet rag and a heavy moisturizer.
The dermatologist suggests a gentle papaya cleanser; a phyto vitamin c serum; a rosacea triple cream; and a moisturizing sunscreen. The cost for the appointment itself ($150) is covered by my MERP card from work, but I pay for the cleanser, serum, and sunscreen from his office ($141) and the rosacea triple cream from an online pharmacy ($49) out of pocket. Thus begins my first-ever skincare routine. Sadly, the dermatologist’s proprietary packaging is ugly, so if you use something similar but cute, please share a link.
10:00 am: I’ve walked the dog, made another cup of coffee, turned on Freedom, and am settling into my laptop for a day of toggling between Google Docs and Zoom rooms.
12:30 pm: M barks rancorously as I’m wrapping up a Zoom call. The Tubies I ordered last week for me (and B) were delivered. It’s SPRING and we are about to eat SMOOTHIE POPS, everybody. It’s also time for lunch, so I heat up this very yummy soup (we subbed veggie sausage and it worked well) and toast a piece of focaccia. I read “I Went On A Package Trip for Lonely Millennials” while I eat. It is every bit as unsettling as it sounds.
1:40 pm: L calls — B has had diarrhea at school and needs to come home. B’s preschool is in the public school where L teaches, which means L handles all pick up and drop off, but my work schedule is much more flexible than L’s so I often do early pickups like this one. I shift my afternoon meetings, notify my direct reports that I’m signing out early, and stop for gas on the way to pick up poor little B. ($40)
4:30 pm: B and I spent the afternoon doing quiet things together – he took a bath, played with toys, and watched some PBS Kids, and I took a few minutes to tie up some loose ends at work. When L gets home at 4:30, we set up the sprinkler on our tiny front “lawn” (currently actually a patch of very-tilled dirt), where we recently seeded low-growing wildflowers.
6:00 pm: I want to drink wine with L while we make veggie fried rice for dinner, but think better of it given that I just got over a cold. L offers to make me a hot toddy (yesssss) but then realizes we’re out of lemons. He and B head to the grocery store around the corner while I finish up dinner. They get lemons, a lime, and a giant bag of lollipops for L’s students. ($11) The hot toddy is delicious.
9:00 pm: B’s bedtime routine is a wrap and my new skincare routine is complete – turns out my face does feel cleaner after a cleanser! I take a nebulizer treatment and read my favorite book that has completely transformed my life, Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts, until we turn out the lights. Goodnight!
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $241
✨ DAY 2: WEDNESDAY✨
5:00 am: I wake up wheezing deeply again. I head downstairs to eat a cold banana and take a prednisone left over from the last time my asthma was aggravated by a cold. I decide to sit for a little Sarah Blondin meditation by the woodstove before I start my early-morning work block. Lesson 8 in this course is my go-to, and is alone worth every bit of the yearly Insight Timer fee.
7:00 am: B and L are awake, but B is staying home from school today so things are a bit slower. I make a mango smoothie for B and then add kale and protein powder for L and I. At 7:45 I don my favorite lilac workout onesie (I have it in black too) and head to my spin class.
9:00 am: I am but one month into spin classes and totally enamored. The dark room and loud music extremely do it for me. After class I stop at the coffee shop next door and buy a big drip coffee to split with L, a sticky bun for L and B to share, and a bag of coffee beans cause we are almost out at home. ($28)
9:30 am: Take a quick post-spin shower while I listen to Iris Dement’s new album, which serves the sound I grew up on and a very earnest progressivism that reminds me of my parents and their sweet Boomer friends who care deeply about abortion access and post anti-racist memes on Facebook. I cover my body in Warm Feelings, spritz on Winter (the best), wriggle into some cheetah-print overalls, and head down to work until L leaves in about an hour and a half.
12:00 pm: My meeting with my boss ran over so L had to leave for work while I was mid-call. I extricate B from Disney+ (we use J’s login) and receive only a moderate tantrum in response. After some breaths, B lays on his blue rug and pretends he’s eating his lunch (a mango pop, grilled cheese, & berries) in the shallow end of a swimming pool. Pre-nap, we read Gabito, a recent fave, and B’s eyes flutter closed during the last few pages. Back to work!
3:30 pm: B comes running into my office but I need to wrap up an important task, so we listen to superhero stories together while I tappity tap. It’s raining out, and L isn’t due home til 6p, so I make a gametime decision to spend the afternoon doing one fun inside thing for me (pick out berry bushes for our garden!) and one fun thing inside thing for B (ride rides inside the mall near the garden center!). B and I gather $2.50 in quarters for his rides, and he dons his Ironman costume and rainboots for the occasion.
At the garden center, we pick out two triple crown blackberry bushes, two chandler blueberry bushes, one heritage everbearing raspberry bush, and, after a quick phone consultation with L, one black tartarian cherry tree. L loves cherries and is very excited to use them in his cocktail-making. We also pick up a galvanized steel watering can since my old thrifted one keeps leaking all over the floor when I water my inside plants. The total is $253. Because I am very excited about this purchase and it’s for our house, it counts as free in my heart.
4:30 pm: B and I are the only nerds in the mall wearing KN95s and clutching quarters in our fists. So far B has purchased a ride on a train ($1) and some tiny banana candies ($.50). He settles on a very exciting race car for his final four quarters – but the greedy car eats his money!!! ($1) We are both very sad, and start searching for a ride that might take a debit card. Then, suddenly, to our left, appears a LEGO STORE. B dashes in and we find that you can build your own tiny Lego person. He happily obliges and I spend $5 on a three-inch-tall Lego man with a spider face and a big helmet.
6:30 pm: Back at home, L and I discuss our most exciting news of the week – L’s youngest sister and her partner arrive at their new apartment in our city TONIGHT! They’ve been living several states away for years. L’s whole family lives in the area and we are all thrilled these two are coming back home. L, B, and I plan to help them unpack tomorrow, and I think we should take them a gift. L heads out to the bottle store down the street to buy two bottles of Morphos (one for us!) ($52), and then goes to the grocery store to buy White Claws and some pull-ups for B. ($25) We could save more money but life is for living.
Dinner is leftover fried rice, and B doesn’t fall asleep til 9. L and I take our favorite CBD gummies before bed and I read the “soft fruits” section of Down to Earth to prepare for our big planting this weekend.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $365.50
✨ DAY 3: THURSDAY✨
6:00 am: I wake up late today – I had trouble sleeping because I couldn’t breathe all night. I make my favorite smoothie for breakfast (which is something like this but incorporates protein powder and frozen kale and cayenne), L eats oatmeal, and B eats two mango smoothie pops plus a cereal bar. They leave around 7:15 am and I get myself together to walk the dog before heading to my coworking space for the day.
8:30 am: I pack up my stuff and ride my bike to my pretty coworking space. The sun is out! It’s spring! The trees are blooming! Everyone is glad.
1:45 pm: I heat up fried rice and drink some of the on-tap kombucha. While I eat, I read Today in Tabs and consider adding it to my monthly expenses so that I can read it more. Our cleaner texts that they’re done at the house, and I Venmo her $160 (included in monthly expenses).
3:10 pm: I decide to bike home before the final Zoom call of the day. I cannot stress enough how glorious it is outside. It’s also glorious inside, thanks to our fabulous cleaner.
Post-call, I make some smol avocado toasts and L calls to say his sibling is not in fact up for a visit tonight – they are whelmed by boxes. We pivot: bike ride to the playground! While at the playground, B is the first kid to hear the ICE CREAM TRUCK approach. Chaos ensues and we spend $5 on one scoop of cookie dough ice cream.
7:00 pm: For dinner we make mini pizzas on TJ’s cauliflower crust. I also make asparagus with a delicious flaked salt left by my bestie the last time they stayed over, and the result is pretty enough to text to them. L makes us gin fizzes with strawberries and with mint from the garden. 🌱
8:00 pm: Teeth brushing is always a slog with B, but on this night I am visited by a stroke of genius. Tonight, I explain to him that the tooth fairy has been hired for a residency at our place and is listening in while he brushes his teeth and uses the potty. If he does a good job, she’ll leave him a coin somewhere in his bedroom. L overhears and makes tooth fairy sounds (think tinkling giggles) from the hallway – B is delighted and brushes his teeth with aplomb. This is a big win! While he uses the potty, I steal away and hide a quarter under the toe of his stuffed Spiderman. He requests tooth fairy bedtime stories and falls asleep listening. ($.25)
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $5.25
✨ DAY 4: FRIDAY✨
6:00 am: Another late wakeup for me. I have a spin class at 8 and a packed workday, so I make my favorite smoothie again and walk M while it’s still dark out. Afterwards, I help B with his teeth brushing/potty routine, and it continues to be so much smoother than ever before thanks to our friend the tooth fairy. This time, L stashes a dime under B’s stuffed bear. B proudly puts the dime and last night’s quarter in his coat pocket and, as I buckle him into his car seat, announces he is NOT sharing his money with his teacher today. I suppose the discussion about whether money should be treated as a public good or a personal asset can come later. On the way to school, L stops for gas. ($25 for gas, $.10 for the tooth fairy)
8:00 am: I arrive at the spin studio and learn that the teacher I expected overslept. His sub unfortunately leaves half the lights on and plays lots of Eminem. I survive the weird vibes and head home for a quick shower before work – no coffee shop stop this time! I am a disciplined and frugal Recessionist millennial.
10:15 am: Our CSA is delivered! It includes spinach, heirloom tomatoes (!! new this week!), apples, lacinato kale, meyer lemons, limes, oyster mushrooms, shiitake mushrooms, red onions, shishito peppers, and mixed cherry tomatoes, plus a delivery charge, for $63, $23 more than the monthly minimum I included in set expenses. I fetch it from the sunny porch and am reminded that urgently want a pair of white platform Birkenstocks for spring. I find a pair in my size in EUC on Poshmark and buy them now: $60 with shipping, a steal compared to $110 new!
1:00 pm: My delightful neighbor and I take lunch together! We walk to a nearby eatery where I get a tempeh reuben and diet soda (my vice), $18 including tip. Over lunch we discuss parenting, gardening, her upcoming major home renovation, and how squirrels can sometimes relocate crocus bulbs. Meanwhile, B and L have early release at school so they head to a kid’s play place as a special treat to B. ($23 with snacks)
3:30 pm: B is home early but, curses, I still have much work to do! He and L chill while I tappity tap for a while longer. I eventually wrap up, but will have to do more work over the weekend.
L wants to work in his shop for a while, so B and I take the bike to the playground. He is a very good friend at the playground, running around happily with a couple of 7-year-olds he’s never met and then, when they leave, chatting amicably with an 18-month-old and his parents. He periodically begs me to let him take his pants off so he can better pretend he’s in the pool. The answer is no, but he is shirtless, shoeless, and covered in “tattoos” (washable marker), and I think that’s a pretty good compromise.
7:00 pm: Back home, L is making dinner (avocado tacos!), and I announce to him that we need a few more spring items: new (unscratched) oversize sunglasses and a beaded eyeglass chain for me, and little kid Tevas for B. I use my dad’s Amaz*n to buy the glasses and chain for me ($20) and three pairs of Tevas for B to try on. They’ll only charge us for the ones we keep, which will be $21.
L and I spend the evening drinking the Morphos he bought earlier this week and hanging out with J and her boyfriend. We turn on the AC for the first time which reminds us that we need to get an HVAC repairperson out here to check out some weird details of the old AC system our inspector caught. I mentally add it to my to-dos for the week.
We get B in bed late again – around 9 – and we watch Schitt’s Creek til almost 11. We will never tire of re-watching this show.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $185.10
✨ DAY 5: SATURDAY✨
6:45 am: I wake up breathing easy today! Blessings, prednisone; blessings, springtime.
8:00 am: L and I make eggie toasts with heirloom tomatoes, and L reveals that he had a long-awaited budget chat with the medical hospital where he’s been getting dental work done. They’re estimating we’ll need to spend an additional $11k this year to get L’s teeth in order. This kicks off a Big Conversation, during which we realize we absolutely need to be spending less than $8k monthly in order to cash flow his teeth, cash flow our must-do house projects, and pay down our cards by end of year. This should be doable, in theory, but will be a big adjustment as for months we’ve been splashing out on everything from gifts to travel to furniture to tools to fabric to support my baby-clothes-making hobby. As the conversation drags on, tension rises, and we’re both mad at each other but not sure why.
After a few breaths, I realize: we are just launching big numbers back and forth across the room, completely unmoored! I offer to make us a big fancy draft annual budget with monthly projections and schedule a date night to review. HOW FUN! L obliges after I convince him that I actually, truly, want to do this, and I find a very nice budget template on Etsy. ($20)
10 am: I run down a hill and across a parking lot to yoga, and slip in some vom along the way. Meanwhile, L and B head to the gym together.
12 pm: I take our e-bike (the one we’ve been riding around all week) to the shop and tell the bike guy that the lights and the breaks are in rough shape. He tells me they’ll fix it up, but that we should consider replacing it with a Yuba Spicy Curry which is $5200. I think not, but in my heart, I do really want to sell this one and buy a RadWagon or a Blix Packa Genie. Ebike moms and dolls, send thoughts.
When I get home, L heads to Aldi and spends $125 on berries, lots of bananas, eggs, rice, oat milk, oatmeal, snacks for B, frozen berries, fresh broccoli, yogurt, and a bunch of other stuff including Aldi swag that he is very stoked about: a matching pullover, socks, and tumbler. He then goes to Ace Hardware and buys s’mores sticks for use with our fire pit and some light bulbs ($37). B takes a nap and I plant the berry bushes and cherry tree while he snoozes!
6 pm: We head out to dinner to celebrate the big move with L’s sister and her boyfriend. It’s a long walk to our favorite taco place, but a beautiful day. B rides his pink scooter and is very cute, but reader, he is a spirited child and today he is having A Day. We field multiple meltdowns and lots of not-listening on the way to the restaurant. Dinner itself is delicious, though, and we watch the sun set over the water as we eat. It’s $58 with tip for the three of us, including a coconut margarita for L and a watermelon sangria for me.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $240
✨ DAY 6: SUNDAY✨
5 am: Up and thinking about parenting. L and I had a long conversation after B fell asleep about what we could do differently to help him manage his emotions. He’s a big child in size and in personality – at 3 he’s wearing size 6 clothes and talking as much as any child that age too. He has big joy, big wonder, big imagination, and also big anger and big sadnesses. We’ve tried to follow Janet Lansbury’s teaching since B was born, but at times gentle parenting, which Janet teaches, has seemed too lax for B. I decide to return to her work anyway. I read the transcript to her newest podcast episode, and wonder if maybe we’re overengaging with B’s big feelings. Then I read this one about another child struggling with aggression, and am glad that B is at least not spitting, I guess?
10 am: B’s morning is going great after all, and we decide to pack a lunch and head out for a hike. B makes himself a ham, cheese, and hummus sandwich, and I make L and I veggie sandwiches with pesto. We happen upon a plant sale on the way home and L approves a “Fuzzy Mystery” peperomia for our bathroom. ($8) Afterwards we drop off my Nuuly at UPS (prepaid!) and head home to watch a movie while it rains. I do work things and start our new annual budget spreadsheet during the movie.
5 pm: J takes a walk with us and M the dog to a playground nearby, and while we’re out, our neighbor texts to suggest once-a-week family dinners on Tuesday (yes please!). For dinner tonight, I make Smitten Kitchen’s tomato sauce with onion and butter using the heirloom tomatoes from our CSA and it’s very good as always. L and I drink some Pinot with dinner, and B eats his spaghetti with his hands.
9 pm: My anxiety (her name is Esther) visits while I’m putting B to sleep, so after he’s down, I decide to get to the bottom of a few things via Google. As usual, this is a bad idea! I walk to bed crying and lay on L’s chest. I cry a lot more, including about the trailer for You Hurt My Feelings which I saw three days ago, and about how scary it would be if L were to die, and about how L’s parents’ best friends’ lives have never been visited by tragedy and is that possible for us too?
Therapy is on Tuesday, everyone! We will make it.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $8
✨ DAY 7: MONDAY✨
6:30 am: I wake up later than I wanted to after a fitful night. B was coughing a lot (post-nasal drip, ick), and I was thinking a lot. I have back-to-back calls today with lots of prep beforehand so I get dressed quick and grab a pre-made smoothie from the freezer for breakfast. B and L leave at 7:15; I light my Gardener candle and tuck in to work.
1:00 pm: Lunch is fried rice with a chonk of a Trader Joe’s milk chocolate hazelnut bar, yum. I eat on a call but politely turn off my camera.
4:00 pm: B and L are home and I’m still wrapping up. On the way home, they picked up some natural honey cough syrup stuff for B ($12).
6:00 pm: L and I drop B off at the Y childcare, and find out they are hosting a spring break camp for 3-5 year olds. L wants to build B’s long-awaited tree house over the break, so we sign B up for four days of camp. Very cute! And also less than half the price of other camps in the area. ($100)
6:15 pm: I check the NYT as I start up the elliptical and am sent reeling by news of the school shooting in Nashville. I try to distract myself with The Crown. Unfortunately, Princess Di is really going through it, so the distraction is a bust. I turn on Sarah Blondin’s Learning to Surrender meditation instead, and listen to it twice. I’m trying desperately to trust the universe but the hellscapeness of it all makes that difficult sometimes.
Life marches on anyhow: After our workout, we head to Trader Joe’s to buy the items Aldi didn’t offer over the weekend (fancy bag salad, plantain chips, challah, frozen greens, a Galia melon, a few other things), plus a lot more broccoli because we need it for the tofu and veggies we’re making with the neighbors tomorrow. I love this peanut butter tofu recipe, in case you’re looking for one. ($31)
8 pm: We three look at videos of baby B over dinner, and L says maybe he is ready for a second. I think I am too.
adrienne maree brown posted today,
put your attention on suffering – which is constant and everywhere – and it is all you will see. joy will come, and laughter, but you will find it brief, possibly a distraction.
put your attention on joy, being connected and feeling whole, and you will find it everywhere. your heart will still break. you will know grief. but you will find it a reasonable cost for the random abundance of miracles, and the soft wild rhythms of love.
return to love as many times as you can.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $143
❤️ Section 5: TOTALS
Total Expenses: $1228.85
Food & Drink: $376
Fun & Entertainment: $130.85
Home & Health: $557
Clothes & Beauty: $101
Transport: $64
❤️ Section 6: REFLECTION
This week was spendy for us between the plants and the skincare routine – but I’d say we usually have at least one week a month where we spend like this, and that needs to shift if we’re going to pay for all the things we need to pay for this year without drawing from our life savings. I’m also aware that N’s student loan payments will likely resume, and that having a second baby isn’t cheap – so I’m excited to finish our budget spreadsheet and treat it like a goal rather than a suggestion (I currently treat Mint’s categories like unsolicited advice from an obnoxious internet stranger).
I do like what we spend money on though, and feel really very lucky. Thanks for reading!

(24f) So, I read a post on here of someone saying they wash themself once or twice a week and the comment were really offensive. So for how long I can remember I have always taken baths at least four times a week and in the summer almost everyday. I quit my job in the beginning of this year. When I was working there I was bathing everyday. I was working 12h shifts with 30 min a break, I was sweating like hell and feeling disgusting. After I quit my job I started taking care ot my curly hair after many years of neglecting it and now I can wash it once a week, sometimes twice (that never happened before and I'm so happy, I had a very greasy hair, and was feeling always dirty even though I was taking baths everyday). When I wash my hair I wash my whole body BUT I wash my private parts everyday no matter what and where I am, changing my underwear... In my opinion I'm a very clean person, I clean the house everyday and handwash my underwear(soak in boiling water, then soak in detergent and after that in laundry deainfectant). I have been with my boyfriend for eight years and he hasn't complained for my recent washing routine. If my armpits smell I wipe them with babywipes or wash them in the sink. But of course if I'm really sweaty and dirty I will take a bath. What I'm saying is that when I don't feel like I'm really that dirty I can go with taking a full bath once or twice a week. PS: I always wash myself down there before and after sex. And also have PCOS and insulin resistance. I changed my diet a little bit and my hair routine. In my past I've always wondered how can people not wash themselves everyday and every other day and now I know and wonder why are people so critical in the comments. Is it really that strange?

I’m a huge Brad Pitt fan/groupie/what have you, I’ve heard about Meet Joe Black obviously but it never really piqued my interest to watch. It’s on Netflix where I live so I thought I would give it a go, Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt!? What could go wrong? Everything. Everything is wrong with this movie. It’s hot garbage. I made it halfway through and realized, why am I watching this? I literally don’t care about a single character. It’s 3 hours long, with an infuriating amount of excessive dialogue and the slowest weird pacing I’ve ever experienced. The bad dye job they gave BP, the lackluster supporting cast and omg the actress who played the daughter had no dimension other than being absolutely beautiful but what is her personality supposed to be?? The scene in the hospital with the Jamaican woman where Brad Pitt does her accent back?? Wtf. Anthony Hopkins is good and so is the scene of BP getting double hit by cars in traffic but other than that I could find zero redeeming in this movie. One of the worst I have ever seen, wondering if you guys feel similarly? Are there any Joe Black fans to come to it’s defense!?

Congratulations to those getting the ITA last week. Sadly even with 7,000 invitations, my current score of 440 is nowhere near the cut-off point.
I waited 3 years for the Express Entry Programme. One of those years was wasted on a job offer that didn't materialise, so I'm back at square one.
Before closing my chapter for Express Entry, can I please ask for advice on the following:
Should I hire Immigration Lawyers?
With consultation fees/lawyer commission averaging $5,000, is hiring professional help the way forward? Seeing some mixed reviews that it's not necessary.
Does applying to PNP Programmes/Job Bank a good way to increase CRS scores?
For the past 6 months, I have been applying on the Job Bank site and PNP Programmes, but to no avail. Should I continue this? Or is this likely a dead end?
What else should I do to get Express Entry approval?
Background: 28 Y/o, 4 Year - UK Degree Holder, 4 Year Working experience as Risk Consultant at Big 4. High IELTS Score and Enough

This has been happening for a few months now, at night. Every. Single. Night. I hear heavy footsteps but they never come in my room. They never go in anyone else's room either. I don't think any of my family hears them cause they don't seem worried in the slightest.
They just seem to be coming from the living room even though we lock our house at night. It's driving me crazy. "Am I insane or is there something in my house that shouldn't be there?" I start thinking to myself. My family was going on a trip but I said I was feeling sick to stay home so I could solve this problem. Perfect opportunity .
What if I set up cameras in the living room?", I asked myself?. "I do have a camera to see my cats when I was not at home, so what if I just shift it in the hall?". "Lets do this then I guess. I won't be at peace till I see what it is".
I put the camera up and waited till night time. I sat in my room and locked the door. Waiting. Waiting. At about 2:30am I saw it. I saw them. They were children! There were two, a teen girl and a little boy. Except they had white eyes. No pupils, nothing. Just blank like a whiteboard. I covered my mouth to stop myself from screaming. I called my best friend up and told her to come to my place, very frantically.
She drowsily told me to call 911. I couldn't think of anything in that situation. I become blank due to the horror. I called 911 in a state of panic. But just as I dialed the number, the children looked up at the camera together, and just disappeared. I cut the call, utterly confused. I looked this up, if anyone else had a similar experience.
Turned out, they're called white eyed children and they're an omen of death. They appear in houses near woods. Right where I lived. Great. I didn't want anyone dying. I started bawling my eyes out, terrified.
How am I supposed to act like I don't know anything in front of my family members if someone passed away. I tried contacting them. But it was to late. My entire family, except me passed away in a car crash. My dad, mom, grandma and little sister suffered a traumatic death full of pain. There was no saving them. I shifted away from the woods the week after the accident to a city. I never want to go near a forest again.
This is the first time I told someone about this. I am posting this so you pray that you never meet the white eyed children. Stay as far away from forests as you can. They appear in houses near forests.Pray you never see them. Pray you never meet them. Consider this a warning. If you ever see white eyed children...death is just around the corner...waiting. Waiting for you...

We have an animal in our chimney and it's gotten to a point that we can no longer get sleep. I want them gone. I don't care if they're removed or exterminated. I don't know if it's squirrels or raccoons.
Worst part is we rent and my landlord has just been ignoring me for the last 2 weeks.
I know it's his job his responsibility and so forth, but I'm more concerned about getting rid of them than I am waiting for my crappy landlord to take care of it.
If anyone has a ladder or is willing to help, you can DM me for details.

Hi,
I'm 27m and have had extreme success in the traditional sense, where I make way more money than I deserve, have great health, and a great long-term relationship. I've done it in a not-as-traditional way where I skipped 80%+ of high school, breezed through undergrad and masters while partying, drinking, smoking, and doing drugs constantly, and work in nowadays one of the most hyped fields (machine learning and artificial intelligence engineer).
I've been able to work at startups as well as big tech companies where my peers were working overnight and on weekends, and while I have also pulled all nighters to meet deadlines, my average hours at work at demanding jobs are about 30 per week, and at non-demanding jobs have often worked 3-4 hours per week consistently.
While others have hundreds of leetcode questions (interview preparation), I've been able to pass interviews with little to no preparation and have achieved senior level engineer within just a few years of graduation.
My current conundrum is this - I have the opportunity to just take it easy and work little to no hours while having no issues in sustaining myself and focus on having a good time, with friends, family, and eventually children, but I have a nagging sense of responsibility where I believe that I should contribute back to the world in a meaningful way because of the fortunate position I have been in. It has nothing to do with status, money, or career, but purely a sense of responsibility.
Does anyone have any input on this?

23F and For about 3 months since I started my new job I suddenly have the below symptoms. No IBS diagnosis but seeing a dr soon.

• Loose stool and urgency to go - sometimes fluffy stools sometimes just loose and always in the morning within 5 mins-1 hour after awakening. Not every day but most days. The mornings where I need to go I sometimes get a dull ish stomach ache beforehand
• Really smelly gas. Some days smells worse than others.
• BM’s only loose in the mornings, they are fine throughout the afternoon/evening.
• Stomach making gurgling noises with a lot of gas
• Sometimes when I have a BM my poop comes out fast and they are small loose poops. Not rabbit droppings they are bigger than that but not big logs. Also not quite diarrhea but loose. I then have a burning sensation in my rectum sometimes when passing gas

I suffer from anxiety so not sure if that’s it - I have changed my diet very slightly and have been eating healthier. I also have been working out more. I do eat a lot of fibre but I have always done that and never had these issues?
Thanks.

I 32F have an older sister, whom I like to call NS (Narcissist Sister (35F) and LS (Little sister (30F).
NS and I have never gotten along due to the fact she is a complete Narcissist and a Bully. She made my childhood and teen hood miserable by relentless bullying, intimidating and making me feel like no matter what I did, I would never amount to anything in her eyes. I am on the spectrum (high functioning) and ended up going through in and outs of depression because for the way she's acted towards me. Even as we are grown adults, she still finds ways to hurt me. For example, she asked me to make beautiful cavas portraits for her two daughters as a gift, and when I completed them, she never said a word about it. Not a thank you or omg they are amazing....nothing. This shot down my confidence when it came to doing any painting for some time. There was another time I spend my hard earned money making a beautiful surprise Mother's Day tea for mum, to which NS completely ruined by throwing a tantrum and storming out because of a disagreement she had with our father. I tried to chase her to her car and coax her to come back for our mother's sake, but she refused, leaving our mother in a state of tears. She never apologised for ruining the tea or thanked me for going after her. That's just what NS is generally like...she doesn't care about who she hurts or how she ruins things....it's all about herself she cares about. She is the type of person who cannot show empathy or deal with things for the sake of others or care about whether she hurts anyone else's feeling. Her behaviour has gotten so much worse over the last several years since she got married and began having kids. She's become extremely entitled, snobby and rude. She even treats our home like a hotel/daycare centre, doesn't even help to clear up any mess or tell her own children to tidy up their mess. So in the end, mum and I have to do it all. I also hate the fact that NS and LS used to completely ignore me as a kid, and sometimes seeing them together they still generally do that, though LS and I have formed over a better bond. Still, I cannot bare to see the two of them together since it's just a reminder that I am the outcast when it comes to the three of us.
Before you ask about my parents....basically according to my father, NS always gave him nothing but aggravation. At one point she even tried to tempt him into hitting her, which he never did by the way. Dad has never been a domestic kind of person or laid a hand on anyone. He's always been a great father who wants the best for all of us. As for mum, she's always tried to play mediator to the situation, despite receiving abuse from NS as well.
Things have gotten to the point where Dad wants nothing to do with NS due to the way she's treated him...like an ATM machine. She and her husband have gotten nowhere with being able to afford a mortgage and have three children, and she's made that dad won't just buy her a house, despite the fact that he's given her money towards family holidays, presents for the kids and other things.
I don't want to see NS due to her toxic behaviour and way she's treated me over the years. I've spent the last year going to counselling sessions before of it and have slowly began speaking out what I've been keeping in for a long time. Dad is very much on my side whilst LS doesn't want to pick sides. Mum is just playing as mediator as always. I have decided to cut NS out of my life for as much as I can, realising I do not need this toxic person to keep bringing me down.
Anyway...next week will be my last day of working at the same work place I've spent the last several years working at, due to it's closing down. Whilst I am excited to begin my new job, it's also kinda sad that I will have to say goodbye to my old team and ending a chapter in my life. I know emotions are going to be high that day, so I asked mum if she could prepare a special dinner for me, like just make something nice like her homemade schnitzels or lamb chops. That's when she revealed to me that there will be family coming for dinner, and of course...NS will be coming with her family. This has made me feel really furious and upset, since I have made it clear that I do not want to be around her.
The only thing is, my grandmother and some other people will be coming too and I wouldn't want to upset them. Part of me is wondering if I should just suck it up and avoid her during the dinner, try to be the better person or if I should just go to the cinema or restaurant somewhere else? I kinda wanna make a clear statement that I don't want to be around her. I'm also worried that I might snap at her after years or resentment and anger that had built up inside.
So would I be the AH if I decided not to turn up for dinner? Should I just deal with it? If anyone has some helpful advice, I'd really appreciate it.
TLSV: Am I the AH for not wanting to turn up for a family dinner to avoid my narcissist sister who has spent years bullying me and putting me down?

So, the fdic is putting a plan into place in case the banking system fails, how to tell the american people. I mean, it’s good to be prepared, sure. Yes. frightening none the less. I’m sure that’s all perfectly standard.
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I’m sure i’ll be fine. I ain’t got no money to lose, so that makes it a little easier to prepare for. Since, you know, if things go according to plan, they’ll announce it on a friday after all the banks have closed for the weekend.
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So, you know. Do your grocery shopping prior to that. Lol, i’m not really worried about that, i’m sure it will straighten itself out, i mean, everything else in america is going so great, so you know. It’ll be fine
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Over the past couple of months, or i guess it’s been going on for a year, or years, or more. Idk, but, i saw a ratty trailer in a trailer park for rent on facebook the other day, $1000 a month. And, according to google you’d have to make 40K a year to comfortably and pay that rent.
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Your typical trailer park residents don’t make that much, so, i guess they’re going to get pushed out for higher rents on .. well, i’ve lived in a trailer park, it’s subpar housing. And, that’s exactly what that trailer on facebook looked like, something from the 80s that was ragged out as hell
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For only just $1,000 per month you, too can risk the toilet falling thru the floor while you’re sitting on it. Yay, congratulations. Good for you. My first apartment that i rented on my own probably goes for that, or maybe even more.
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It was a wood paneling and shag carpet townhouse, that’s what they called it, that just meant the bedrooms and bathroom were upstairs with the kitchen and living room on the main level. It went for $435 a month way back then, back in 99/00. It wasn’t great, and sometimes the range hood would shock you if you touched it.
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Quirky, i guess. That apt is no doubt up to $1200 a month. Sure, they probably remodeled it. Ok. but, they ain’t remodeled my pay, you know, since then. That’s what made my decision to leave the area. October 2021, i couldn’t figure out why i was so broke.
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That’s when inflation caught my attention and i thought, holy shit, is my check right. I’m so broke, this can’t be right. That’s when inflation started cutting into not just my ability to save, but also my savings. Just for basic necessities, you know. Food and such
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I was working at a corporate place that paid .. you know, just a tiny little bit above the going rate for wages around town. Based on experience the fucking ad said, lol. I hate that fucking shit. It’s just bullshit, you know, me with decades of experience at that exact job hired in at the same rate as people who’d never stepped foot behind a desk.
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That’s why unions, you know. Make those words in employment ads mean what they say again.
Anyway, i pulled up their payroll system, you know, where you could see a copy of your checkstub. Idk, i thought maybe there was a tax issue or something, and when i pulled it up, it was pretty obvious they’d designed the system around their corp employees.
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I full well knew what i made an hour, i think it was $13.50, then. How it appeared on the payroll system, it was posted like that, but instead by the year. And, i was like, well, shit - that’s why you’re broke. I was making the same exact wage i made in 99/00, minus free benefits and a gas expense. Wtf.
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Making less money. That’s when i was done, just fucking done with the whole ass damn town. I’d been paying $1,000 a month for rent, so during the time that i lived there, my rent more than doubled for about half the space and my wages didn’t fucking budge.
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Fuck ‘em. I hope some trust fund babies gotta go cover some shifts this season. Wouldn’t that be nice. I mean, you know, the trust funds up there are the cause of it. Own a lot of businesses and most of the rentals, that’s where those funds came from.
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You know, that they all worked so very hard for. I saw a tik toc today, appeared on my facebook newsfeed. Some blond in a benz going on about how people who pronouns are lazy and require special treatment at work
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Yeah, that’s totally been my experience at work, but not with people use pronouns. Not them. You. judging ass thinks they’re better than every other person on earth. You. you’re the fucking problem, and your ass ain’t better
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And, i hope every one of you fucks end up having to cover the shifts at the business that pay for your lives. I hope you have to labor this year.
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She began the video with the words “if i was a hiring manager and … “ well, here’s the thing, i have been the hiring manager before, i’ve also been the fire your ass manager. I’ve worked jobs like the one i have now that the whole staff is just a handful of people, and large corporates with more than 250 people there.
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The problems at work ain’t ever come from gays or trans or any other person just looking to be accepted as the person they are. It’s always the “good christians”
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What is it about you that makes you think you have the right to tell others how to live.
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What is legitimately fucking wrong with you. Why don’t you get a life and mind it. Hoe your own row. Worry about that plank in your own eye. Cast the first stone. Isn’t that what your fucking book says. The one you always throwing up in people’s faces
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Why aren’t you following that. Why don’t you.
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I mean, i keep going on about this, but:
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Tl;dr: nazis are bad.

I have been in my workplace for 3 years, in the time there has been a lot of turnover. I am talking the whole management team, soon I will report to a 5th manager, as well as a lot of my co workers have changed. In this time the workplace culture has really changed. My role is very dependant on my co workers, I need information from them and for them to do their steps in a chain for me to do mine and so on. I am struggling as I am finding people literally ignore me if I follow up overdue stuff, give me the run around or in the last minute change plans which affects the work I have done, with no other reason then they are disorganised or don't like it (when it's not really their role to do this). I am at my wit's end. I use the love my job, and I still enjoy certain aspects of my work, but I feel like I have to jump up and down and pull teeth to get the things done so I can do my part. Has anyone else had this happen before. I honestly don't know how to handle it anymore. I had a manager who was really good at keeping everything in line, but since she left it is just a battle.

I don't know where to start and if this is the right place to express myself. Sorry for my English is not my first language.
I'm going to start where I am now. I am at a point where I am afraid of the weekends because I use drugs to forget that I exist. I feel alone and sometimes I don't want to keep fighting. I am 36 years old, I have not created anything, I have spent my life helping others, it was the mentality that was instilled in me as a child, to the point that you stop thinking of yourself for helping others, and I thought it was okay to be like that, I suffered from much mistreatment by the person who raised me (my parents did not raise me) I never had affection or love as a child, I have only received betrayal and disappointment from my family and friends, today I have no friends and there are few relatives with whom I communicate (I live alone in a foreign country). I have become a lonely and distrustful person, everyone who has come close is with the intention of using me that’s what I think, sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. I still have a job I think that is the only positive thing in my life today I am a supervisor it was difficult to get that job. 6 months ago before I started using drugs on weekends, I used to go to the gym and that helped me, when my brother betrayed me everything collapsed. I want to get out of this circle I just don’t know how.

Hi reddit. I will try to keep it short but it doesn't go like that. I lied.
I can't really talk to my friends about this honestly because I'm ashamed of all this and I'm depressed as fuck so I need to let this go as it's starting to affect my every day relationships with friends and family, I'm drained and tired idk, maybe this helps.
Exactly half a year ago I was sad about my life. I have a decent job, it's not perfect regarding pay but everything else is pretty much great. I have lots of spare time if I organize correctly, let's say. The pay isn't anything wow, but it's a bit above average I'd say and in my current situation I get to spend it on basically whatever I want. So it's not the job.
My friends are great, but we are all collectively challenged. We are really bonded well, we live in a same town, but we almost never go out. If it's going out it's going to another friend's place to play some poker and that's about it. We spend about 95% time playing games on Discord and the sad part is I'm not really into fps and not many new games impress me (unlike them) so I'm left with one or two friends and I depend on playing with them, if they're online. Lately they really aren't, one found a job and the other one doesn't have one so he wakes up at like 2AM or random times and goes to sleep when he wants to. Most of us smoke weed, including me. Usually daily. I'd say we're all pretty functional though, we all have jobs and do all our daily obligations but I personally don't remember a day when I didn't smoke a bit unless I was out or if I was on tolerance break (I thought it was actual break but that's what I consider it now haha).
I realized it must be love I'm looking for and since I don't go out often and the city I live in is relatively shitty regarding night life. I decided let's try Badoo and Tinder. Also, my seduction skills are shitty, let's face it, not going out every weekend, sitting home and smoking weed isn't gonna do your social skills any good.
Anyway I meet this 9 year older girl (me 29 - she 38) and initially she seemed amazing in every aspect, I actually cried about this whole first part of relationship with her on a different alt on this same sub but I don't give a shit anymore.
She played with me mostly, to condense it all. TLDR is pretty much I was in love with her over my ears and she felt intimidated by it or whatever. At first she took me to trips with her friends for multiple days and I thought, well maybe she likes me so much she's already showing me to them! Also, the messages she sent me seemed like she was really into me, the gist is that she finds it hard to love someone, but if she does, no one loves like her. All bullshit, at least from my point of view after all this.
I designed her a nice coffee cup (I am decent in Adobe Illustrator but extremely uncreative, it took me over 10 hours drawing cartoon version of her and some stuff that I found interesting about her, filled with a couple of hearts here and there) for her birthday because a few weeks before she said she hates stuff that people order and appreciates the meaning in the gift. I was like wow! this girl must be special! She dumped me then. It was pretty much birthday party and after that she was cold until one day after drinking Friday with colleagues we had a chat over whatsapp and she said she didn't fall in love with me.
I was so fucked up for a week, but after a few weeks I pretty much collected myself and asked her to a dinner, just to say goodbye so maybe one day we can smile when we see each other in some random place in 10 years. On the dinner we speak about how yes, we're not compatible, some random stuff and occasionally we throw something jokingly about either one of us meeting another person so in my head it's ok, we've done our goodbyes. She's tiny so she didn't eat much and it was late anyway so we finished up and when we hugged she started kissing my neck and later me. Idiot me fell for it momentarily because I don't know, it's hard to explain. I am so abnormally attracted to her in every way and my lizard brain wasn't about to lose its chance for a dopamine pump.
To do a small digression, the reason I can't whine to my friends is because of the last two paragraphs, that's where I cried to them about being dumped, pt1.
Some days later she invites me over and we have a talk about how I guess I talk to much over the phone which she hates because she works as a hair dresser (often gets calls) and she's often tired, needs to hang out with friends blah blah (which I all met and they're idk what kind of people, but they all really do often go out together everywhere).
I thought to myself, I guess that's actually ok. We don't really have too many common interests and this way I get to spend a lot of time to myself but we can still see each other and this worked for a bit, then we were supposed to meet at New Years, but yup, she went to another city with her friends.
I didn't want to interrupt her as she said it was going to last a few days and she does hate phones, but after 5 days she still doesn't send any messages so I figured fuck her, if she wants to go anywhere she needs to call me now.
About a week or two later, she sends me something about needing an edit on her price list (which I made in illustrator), I edit it to her and still wait, not wanting to ask her anywhere. Nothing. Wow ok.
Two more weeks pass by and now there's a mask festival in town. If you go there, you get drunk, it's almost a custom and I got fairly drunk to be honest. At some point in the night, some guy was bothering some girl and she kind of caught me and started dancing with me to get away from him. At this point in my mind I was thinking I didn't see the first girl in basically a month so yes, I will dance with this cute girl and eventually we kiss and exchange facebook accounts.
In the morning I wake up and there's a "hey, wanna come?" message from girl 1 on whatsapp and to keep this short, this was two long weeks where I couldn't decide what I want to do. The moment I got the message I felt like I cheated on her and I got extremely depressed, just because I didn't have balls to break it off in time. I really liked both girls, but I had something with the first girl, whatever it was. The little time I got with her, I really cherished.
Digression number 2, this is where I cried to my friends pt2, most of them saying let the B go. But no, I follow my heart because romantic movies say so.
We met and she said how those same friends she went everywhere with abandoned her and they're not friends anymore basically. She listed some reasons I found legitimate because otherwise the whole thing would be a lot easier. As we left the coffee shop we met at, I asked her if we were going to be together like boyfriend and girlfriend (considering we were just great friends according to her) or not and she just hugged me hard and said something like "please, I'm really all over right now, just give me a month or two". I was a bit pissed because there was no movement, we were supposed to break up or become a thing, not stay where we are.
The whole thing was eating at me hard, I would wake up, start thinking about how I cheated on her and couldn't confess it, shed a few tears and move on with my day feeling like shit. I couldn't take it anymore one morning and I told her over a video call, it wasn't nice for me emotionally, she was pretty much insulted, and told me to fuck off.
The other girl seemed nice but not my type mentally. Other than TV shows, we didn't have any common interests, at least from the chat. (thanks for Casa de Papel, if you ever recognize yourself though!). She did chat a lot and seemed annoyed at first if I didn't answer fast enough which was a bit of a turn off and honestly, I didn't really wanna chat enough until I did what I was about to do (read on). Still, in my dumb head the logic said she's very hot and seems very kind, maybe there's more to it, I shouldn't just reject her before I get to meet her personally.
Few days in, I feel like a complete crap. Girl 1 was abandoned by her core friend group and now there's me, slam dunking by telling her I was with someone else over a video call. Also I remember her telling me of different ways boyfriends dumped her in a bad way and now I think to myself, great, I'm gonna be one more in a row when she tells it to someone else. I send her a message apologizing and saying I really feel like shit and I hope she won't hold the grudge forever, I thought lucky myself that I am good with numbers so I remember it despite deleting it... We have some kind of a fight about me being immature not having balls to tell it in her face and I end up at her place, wanting to say goodbye and all that, but again she starts kissing me and stuff happens and I'm fucked again because I'm at square one now.
All this mess in my head caused me not to want to go anywhere for next weekend, then I got sick for a week, then girl 2 got sick for a week and after all this I figured, I had something meaningful with girl 1, I'm just gonna call the girl 2 to have a coffee, give her a teddybear and explain myself and break it off.
Girl 2 at this point either got tired of me not going out and not chatting actively or not, but she said she doesn't see me like that after asking her out to a coffee. I was just an adventure for her that night. I was a bit surprised because initially she definitely didn't give off those vibes, but I also thought BINGO! Now my moral torture is done, she even didn't want to be with me so I don't feel like a complete piece of shit anymore.
Now that I was free, I was supposed to enjoy my time with girl 1, but she starts claiming she's having mental problems and she's visiting doctors so she doesn't want to see me. I say ok and I have a week of moral dilemmas regarding if it's something than I can support her through or not, especially since she's not telling me anything. Is she going to lose it and start crying, shouting on me or should I be worried she's gonna slit my throat if I sleep over?
I ask her out again and her reply is in style of "why do you still want to go out with me when I'm fucked up like that?". I replied something in style that I find it cute and we're all crazy in a way so I don't mind it one bit. I figured, she needs more time. In a week, I bought some chocolate and candy and went to her hair salon to give it to her, I really wanted to hug her and talk to her about all that, but her salon is closed. At this point I'm in a bit of a panic, she has always been opened and this thing that's bothering her must be terrible.
I contact her on whatsapp and she says to leave it in front and doesn't reply anymore. The other day, I ask her if we're never going to see each other again. In short, she says something in style of "yes, I like someone else now". I kind of lost it here and told her she was rotten. It's one of the things I'm afraid will happen to me and next to that, I went through all that shit with her, felt like I cheated on her because of something most others probably wouldn't even mention. I poured all my creativity in every gift I gave her, I went out with her whenever she asked, I thought about her when her friends didn't (regarding picking stuff up or something like that) and now she breaks it off because she likes someone. I thought (and she made me think) we had something special, multiple times, and now she just gives it all away for someone else. I also said "I hope you guys are happy" to which she replies "who says we're together?" and this is where I blocked her.
And that's all folks, last half a year has been a complete shitshow. I learned I am not a good person I thought I was and I am left all alone again. The sad thing is half a year ago I was a pothead with zero social skills and I was so happy with my life, now I'm back where I was but I hate myself and my life. I just hope it passes in a few weeks, it's really shitty having a beer or two with friends and when alcohol hits me a bit I remember her and start feeling depressed again.