I got my 1st (and only) anxiety attack on the beginning of last month. Like a few people, I also was afraid of going to sleep at night. I didn’t know much about anxiety. I was new to this. So at a certain time (around 9pm) I’d start feeling scared to go to sleep, because my anxiety attack happened when I had laid down to sleep. When I would lay down, I would think a lot of negative stuff. Like “What if I die? What will happen to my kids and husband? What about my mom and siblings will they be okay?”
I fixed my sleeping problem by challenging my thoughts. After my brain asked those questions, i would answer them. My thoughts would be like “Remember how you felt the same way yesterday and you woke up today? It’s been happening for like 7 days now and look at you! Still living. It’s okay for people to have ups and downs, that’s how life is. Your family will be okay.”
After that I got over the sleeping thing. Then my mind jumped to eating. I couldn’t eat because I would feel full after eating a tiny portion of food. I was scared to eat normal because I was Googling things I shouldn’t eat.
I got passed it, by telling myself “Hey, remember you used to eat this meal before your anxiety attack? Remember it never made you feel sick? Why are you worried about something you’re familiar with?” Turns out I was making myself feel sick because I was stressing myself out and my anxiety was getting to me.
Like I said, I’m new to anxiety. I’m just learning how to calm my brain when it panics a little. Lately I’ve been feeling normal. I don’t take any medicine for anxiety or anything. Which I’m grateful for. I feel like the first few days were so hard, but I’m learning to manage it as I go.
I also want to share a website called 7cups. It’s a website that have anxiety and other things like depression and other stuff. I hope it helps someone because I feel like that website helped me a lot. It’s free (unless you wanna take therapy on there then you gotta pay) but that’s the first positive place I found after my anxiety attack and it calmed my anxiety because they have some exercises for your mind that help you. They have forums where you ask questions and people help you. They also have listeners that chat with you if you need someone.
I hope this helps someone. ❤️

I have a somewhat clingy 9 year old male cat who has recently started continuous yelling at night. In the last week, he’s upgraded to yelling in the mornings too.
Some background on him: he’s been an outdoor cat most of his life (we live in rural Iceland so no predators and little traffic) but December of last year we moved to a third floor apartment so he became indoor. He seemed to adjust well to that and didn’t make any fuss at the windows or doors. We moved again in March when I got a new job, and that’s when the problem started. I’m now on the second floor, and this apartment has a mezzanine level.
For the first few weeks it was alright, he would follow me upstairs to bed and sleep with me. Then the yelling began.
He’ll walk into the bedroom and walk around my bed making repeated noises. If I call for him or try and entice him onto the bed to sleep, he doesn’t respond. He wanders out into the hall or downstairs and just keeps yelling. In the last week, he’s begun doing it around 6am too (I usually wake at 7am) or if I go to the bedroom during the day.
I keep his bowls full and his litter tray empty. He has a small cat tree and lots of balls to play with. If I let him out on the balcony he gets distracted enough to be quiet again but a) I have to supervise him out there and b) the yelling gets worse when I bring him in and comes with frantic scratching at the door to get back out again. I’ve considered building an enclosure out there but Icelandic weather means 25mph wind is common and the landlords won’t let me attach anything directly to the building.
I’m going mad and the ruined sleep is a affecting my work performance. Any suggestions for how to make him stop?

Just wanted to share with you guys. (Scared to do so but i think you're positive enough)
When i first started to know about shifting i joined all the comunities of shifters in every social media(💀). I had a twitter account where i would post positive and motivational quotes.
One day an user i used to chat with tweeted something about how changing race is [email protected], and here is my mistake. I retweeted saying "it's not?"
We got into an argument where i said that it's stupid because you could even be a cat in another reality, since they already exist, and over 30 users started bombarding my account calling me [email protected] and filling up my dms with insults.
What bothers me it's the such agressive response they had, i had to close my shifting account and never opened it back.
What are your thoughts about this? Also wanted to know if i wasn't the only one to have a bad experience with this
Pd: Pls stay away from toxic communities, happy shifting ♡

First off, are Pisces known as being so sensitive to everything? Defensive about stuff too? Anyway, the story is underneath.
So guys, I knew this girl from 2019, she got married and got divorced. She happens to move here in mid jan and hit me up on Facebook. We grabbed coffee, and from there we slept together on Valentine's Day. After that, we stopped talking because she wanted to end it. I called her and we hang out again. Go to the movies and the next day she says it again. End of March we talk for 4 hours in person and she called me saying she is getting serious with someone. So I attacked her flaws, called her hairy, said she looked like a bum around me. For god sake, her EX husband didnt want to have sex with her because she weighed too much, but I did. We talk a few times in April, in May. She called me May 7, we grab food. Then that night she asked for a relationship, I rejected it because she rejected me before. Next day I call because I honestly felt bad and we had sex in a hotel room.
Then the next day she called me "evil" because I wanted her to take a plan b. From there I text her the following, "I never loved, I never thought you were attractive, I hung out with you because I petty you". Plus I told her to wear more makeup next time. Now she has for a month, I saw her today and we wanted to end it in person, we made out and stuff. Then life topics came up and I say "You couldn't satisfy your husband and failed as a wife" I said I failed at things in life too and that is the harsh reality. Did she use me in any way? Was I rude to her???? I always felt like she was selfish in many ways and only used me. I got ugly at times and I hope the pain I have done doesn't last too long, we are and were too toxic for me.
At least I gave her what her ex-husband couldn't. Things honestly didn't get ugly till plan B. Her ex-husband forced her to an IUD and pills due to depression. That was messed up. I am a leo and she was a Pisces (never again). I think I was always harsh when the rejection came into play, we both agreed we are both great friends. After this argument, I am done. we need to leave each other alone. I really wanted to end it on good terms today till she got offended and left my car after my comment about her not satisfying her husband. There is no way but to ghost her.

Just had a mandatory call from the gov. agency which gives me my unemployment benefits. Apparently I'm not sick enough they think. My dad even said I should lie if necessary so they don't make me work again and I lied plenty but I'm not gonna whine and pretend like I lie in bed all day. But now I'm stressed and more anxious than I expected at this news. First off, I hate for anyone else to be telling me I'm not sick enough, nobody tells me what I am, and second I don't want to work, I have no diplomas so I only have choice of shitty minimum-wage jobs anyway, which are guaranteed to only make me more suicidally depressed. There is no job out there for me in this country I hate, that's gonna be worth the negligible salary. Then again maybe this is just the push I needed to kill myself. If they are gonna take away my benefits and force me to work. I'm just curious for my Ketamine treatment starting in a month, but then I might just take a nice permanent vacation to Sicily with the money I've saved up from unemployment, which I barely spend any off since I live with my parents

(TBM, dang autocorrect)
I'm on vacation in NYC. I was skeptical of coming, due to unresolved bottled up familial issues (came with brother and mother), and was right to be so. Yes I know, confirmation bias is a thing, but at the beginning I certainly had no bias. I somewhat enjoyed it, talking slightly with my brother and playing games, traveling the city with 100 lbs of luggage, enjoying the sights, but my enjoyment particularly with my family was degragated (for lack of a better word) as of course, I was a third wheel. My mom and brother get along just fine, being very similar in values and personalities, both of em with their own little niches, and I was left behind as they chatted... and chatted... and chatted... with each other. While somewhat annoying if I wanted to do anything or get their attention, I'm used to it so I tried my best to enjoy what I could where I could.
I should probably get more to the point.
My family is quite inconsiderate. Especially of me, because they have whatever their own excuses are inside their heads. I'm sure this is rather bold, religious issues aside, so let me explain.
My family pays little to no regard to strangers. Occasionally, they smile superficially and try to be missionaries... ughck... and say sorry emptily, naturally ofc whenever they make a small mistake, but the other things they do... some I can't really explain very well, so I'll give examples. On a subway, despite some people very close nearby seeming like they reaaally didn't want to be bothered, my family chatted about things that held no importance, even by what I'd assume their standards are. It's small, ik; but it's so constant and happens even when they're aware that I can say it's somewhat evidence that they do not care about the well-being of most people. Despite saying they do..... OK next example. Sitting next to each other in 2 tight knit seats and turning around while wearing backpacks in order to face each other... quickly turning back and forth to smile fakely and utter a quick sorry- showing a lack of awareness for people around them. I know, I know, it's pointless to explain, but I'll get to it. Third example: while a single worker is there, my mom helps my brother dig for a certain shirt, while my brother tries. on. many. shirts, and tosses them around in the shirt pile, disregarding the worker that's trying to fold every single one, let alone other customers.' Oh, all while I get so sick of waiting and trying to tell them to hurry every 10 minutes- I somewhat timed it, that I even help the worker fold the clothes. We were there for an hour and a half. I keep telling them to hurry, as my symptoms are getting worse. Oh, did I not mention? I didn't just get sick of waiting, I got sicker while waiting. 4 hours earlier, I got sick. 4. Hours. That's when I first told them I needed to get home asap.
Which brings me to the morning of the day. I woke up, feeling fine, and while eating breakfast, my brother gets me to talk about something I don't want to, and then says one of the most blood boiling, way out of line things I've ever heard of in my life after he got annoyed at me when I told him "if you don't want me to explain my way, you don't have to listen." (Reminder that HE wanted ME to talk. I didn't care). I calmed myself down and clearly told him that he should never say anything like what he said, to anyone, ever. Of course, my religion-enhanced entitled brother was appalled at such a statement. Or more accurately, did. Not. Care. Because since I'm not part of the church, my words carry no weight, and OF COURSE I'm always wrong. So fast forward a bit; my brother, mom, and I go to the museum of science and natural history. We immediately get split up, which I'm perfectly fine with, since I just wanted to take pictures of EVERYTHING with my new phone (Samsung A23 ultra), testing the limits of it's camera. All in all I took around 300 using the multiple options from lighting to megapixels, and let me tell you, the camera is FUCKING AMAZING. Anyways, all the 200mp pictures at higher zooms apparently drain the phone battery pretty quickly as it processes the photos. So my phone starts running low, around 20%. It was about 63% when I first came in around 45 minutes prior. I'm getting very hungry, and combined with breakfast and other misc tiny events, hangry, so I text my family for us to meet up and eat, because I'm famished and really can't wait too much longer. I have to wait what felt like a really long time, 15 minutes, while I kept taking photos, more spread out now, and my phone battery came down to 10. Thank goodness they had some beef jerky they never mentioned about. My mom didn't want any so I had half and gave the rest to my brother. I'm still ravenous, the beef jerky wasn't nearly enough to satiate my hunger. I'm practically desperate for food. I don't want to leave them for food, and I don't want to leave the museum otherwise I couldn't come back in via the rules, and I want to take more pictures. Reaaaly badly. Not just for me, but for my family too. At this point my battery's getting really low, 6%, so I stop taking photos entirely unless there's something REALLY cool. But my hangryness makes it so that I'm skipping a lot of pictures anyways. As I mentioned, I really wanted to take more photos, and this would really be my only opportunity in the museum, so I ask my mom to charge my phone using her iPhone 14, which is at the about the same percent as my brother, around 60%. I only needed a little bit of charge to make sure my phone won't die for the rest of the museum, and for communication. My mom says no, as does my brother, since they don't want to take of their cases. Because of dust- my brother. Because I said so- my mother. I suppose it's understandable, but considering the potential dangers of NY and a great need to be able to communicate when separated, they were kinds benign, ridiculous reasons. That seemed even more so during my hangryness. I didn't want to risk my phone dying while leaving them, so I'm forced to stick with them. And since they aren't willing to get food or go with me to get some, or help me find a charger, or anythkng.... I'm stuck unable to do anything while constantly starving. Which I make sure they really do know. I verbally voice my needs and reasons. Anyways, it's always nonsense and ignorance, so I decide f it and leave them to find a food court. Oh, no point, the museum closes soon. Okay, plan b, charger in the gift shop. No charger. Time for any more pictures? Not really, plus too risky bc of battery. Okay, so I leave. I sit down at the water fountain at the exit, text them, and wakt. For minutes. The museum is already closed and they aren't coming out. They text me and tell me they're waiting for me at an intersection. My phone's at 2%... a potentially dangerous situation. I meet em, voice my concerns, and FINALLY, we get food. Because 'I'm hungry' was what they said, but they also said they're finally hungry too- key word finally. They had no priority to get me food, showing they take priority for their own hunger; it's not like I could risk separating from them now to get food myself when my phone's about dead. I had to be dependent without a real choice; I don't know my way around the city and definitely don't feel like talking to people.
I need food asap. My stomach hurts a lot from hunger, which I verbally tell them (I also start really noticing a growing sore throat that started in the museum, and tell my family I'm starting to get sick- I can feel what's to come), yet rather than letting me use their phone directions or leading me to the nearest food place, my brother takes us past many food places (I'd leave them and go for one, except neither of them would join me, and my phone's practically dead, so we might not be able to find each other if we separate, so I have no choice but to follow them) in order for us to go to a particular food booth. My mom values my brother's wants over my own needs. I know they're particular needs, hence why I was elaborating and saying them aloud. And now they're annoyed at me. They make small comments as I begin eating, such as "You should be happy!" and "we're on vacation!" In sing-song voices. I leave them and move to somewhere to eat alone, telling them not to bother me. Oh, they do, a few comments, because they never stop despite any number of times I tell them, so I just stay quiet and aggressively motion for them to stop. They luckily do and I'm able to eat relatively peacefully, despite my boiling blood and them interrupting me near the end of my meal that they're going. So I have to throw away the rest of my meal since I have to stick with them and they won't wait, and they wouldn't be able to wait without constantly rushing me and making comments, so oc I've gotta go. Luckily, they finally take me somewhere I needed to go... that also happened to be somewhere my brother WANTED to go. An apple store. Thank. Goodness. While there, I try charging my phone on an empty display magnetic charger, looking around to be sure it was okay to do. Charge symbol flashes, so I set it down and test an iPhone 14 while waiting. Hehe my camera better- me while scrolling through preset photos taken by the iPhone. Anyways it turns out that the magnetic charger did nothing, but luckily downstairs, apple had the charger I needed, so I spent $40 and started charging while waiting for my family to look around the store. They finish and tell me they're going to a nearby church for a reason I can't remember, and I tell them I'm gonna stay and let my phone charge, not even realizing the church has outlets, not that it matters, now that my needs are met and I got food and charge- all the way to 40% by the time they're ready to leave the church and meet up. I thought we'd be going home. As I exit the Apple Store, done for the day, my muscles, especially near my head tense up painfully and I begin shivering a lot whilst feeling cold and suffering a massive headache. Oh boy, I shouldn't be this sick this fast. I better get home quick. Luckily after a block it stops, and after heading towards the subway I thought could take us home, they tell me they're somewhere completely different. I eventually find them via Google maps and we take the subway to a crowded, lit up section of Manhattan. I'm starting to feel really unwell, so I decide it's best not to separate from my family. I make sure they know I'm serious about going home asap. As we walk to a corner of the block and I'm confused as to why we're not taking the next subway home, which would've been down in the same subway station, my brother apparently realizes he forgot his cheap sunglasses in the apple store, which is almost closed now. I tell him, my mom also telling him, that we should just wait until tomorrow, and I add especially because I'm getting reaaaaally sick and almost can't stop shivering (bonus points to my mom for saying "well, you don't LOOK sick"), have a headache, muscles ache, etc, but nope. Brother wants glasses so entitled bastard gets glasses. I wait while my mom calls the store to make sure apple still had em (Why didn't brother call them himself? He's a big boy). Of course I'm getting really annoyed, anxious, impatient, etc, but ofc them being them, don't realize and do nothing about it, despite me explicitly stating my literal needs. Apparently apple still had em, so mother and I go into nearby shop (really fun stuff, I wish I felt good so I could properly enjoy it) while waiting for bother. For 45 minutes. It feels like hours to me. I keep telling my mom let's just go, I can find our route with Google maps, and big boy bother already knows his way around the city since he served a mission. But nope. Mother insists we wait. So wait we did. I'd go myself, but if I haven't said it enough, I can't leave them. Not just because my muscles are weak and I'm concerned for my own safety, but because despite them leaving me on several occasions, I wouldn't want to leave either of them that way I could make sure they're safe. Anyways my brother gets back finally, and instead of prioritizing my very real and very serious need to get home asap, he decides he wants a shirt that I happened to get. So we go to the shirt booth. And I wait. And wait. And tell my brother to hurry, that I REALLLLLLY got to go, I'm sick and getting physically weaker, shakier, achier by the second, so much so that it's hard to physically conceal and I'm surprised no stranger mentioned anything. And then I wait, and wait, and tell him again, warning him I might say something mean if I have to wait too long, and then I wait, and wait, and warn him a third time that it's his final warning, I really gotta go and I really will say it soon as I get a proper chance. So that waiting was about 30 minutes. I then spend another hour waiting. Felt like so many days. I'm watching around for shirt thieves while bored, looking at phone occasionally, and then decide to help shirt folding guy by observing the way he folds and copying him (he was very good and efficient, I would need many hours of practice to actually get the folding right, that he was doing 99% of the time at a consistent pace). I'm opening my mouth as little as possible, not talking to anyone unless absolutely necessary, and turnikgnaway from everyone, to reduce any chance that others could get sick. Oh, you thought the accumulated 3 hr wait was long? My brother wanted to shop more after finally picking out his shirt. Luckily, my mom actually stepped in for me and helped me finally convince him to let us go. I am pissed at my brother at this point, he made some other comments about me to make me really want to slam his head into the wall. But no, I just resort to slightly 'accidentally' step on the back of his shoes- his not nice shoes- 3 times. Of course he's super pissed and him and my mom make me stop. My mom verbally says to me "don't do anything physical." I would never actually hurt my brother. Or anyone, for that matter, no matter what they do to me. Even in self defense I would consciously do the least damage possible. The fact my mom simply doesn't trust me for something so small and obvious, especially in public where it really is obvious just hurts, in accumulation to everything else. The fact they see little to no wrong in what they do, and shine a beacon on even the smallest things I do astonishes me and hurts. Anyways, we go on the subway, take a long walk to our car, and I have to wait 30 minutes while my brother is on the phone since he's our stick shift nighttime driver; my mom hates driving at night and I don't know stick shift, so I have no choice to wait. Oh, did I mention I started really having to go to the bathroom during the walk? I told them, too. So I realllllllly need to get back home. I'm sick enough and just really got to go now, too. But nope. Bother's forking not-even-girlfriend that he barely knows, that he came on this trip to literally see, comes first, even via phone. I ask him if it was important, he said yes, I asked how important, he said "she was having trouble with a friend," I ask if it was life and death importance, because at the rate my symptoms are at, not to mention my newfound dinnertime hunger and thirst, and my need for a bathroom, there could be a very real chance of death, and it's so much more important. My mom just waits on my brother hand and foot though. Oh, she's similar to my brother and has her own wants too. She was rushing my brother on the phone (with me), not for me, but because target was going to close soon. Fucking target. We can't go in the morning? I'm getting weaker by the second. THEY KNOW BUT THEY DONT CARE. It's so fucking appalling how awful they are. Anyways we eventually get home. And part of the worst part happens. Because of my emotional distress at this point, my symptoms are enhanced to the point I'm to shiverry and spasmy and dizzy and achey and weak to walk, let alone balance. And yet, despite them seeing me, and me telling them I need help, they take no initiative and I'm just so hurt so I tell them to leave me alone and just go. And they do. So I spend 15. Minutes. Trying to walk about 700 feet, leaning against nearby obstacles for when I uncontrollably shake. I have no doubts I look a lot like a drunk. A lady comes up and asks if I need help, but I'm 300 ft or so away and I don't want to get her sick so I say no, I just need to go there, but thank you, and point to my destination. Her security guard drives by (she apparently owns the place), and also asks me if I need help; I'm not really thinking straight and quite dizzy, and every sound and sight is slurred, so I thought I heard him say I can have a ride after I point to my destination, but then I make sure he knows I'm sick, and anyways whatever conversation we had, I end up walking the rest as the guard makes sure I arrive safely. As I near my destination, I see my family just outside the door and I start trembling more, having to brace my knees in the middle of the street every couple steps to keep my balance. They don't help. I'm in tears, because I mean, who wouldn't be at this point? They probably still think I'm faking it all
And they probably still do, days later. My occasional trembling stopped except for once in a while near them, but despite all my tribulations and minimal ability to walk, they don't so much as offer me water. Or bring me some when I ask. Even on my birthday the other day my mom hardly did anything, and my brother did nothing. Theyve made no moves to try and fix things, and have no doubt dismissed the whole situation, expecting forgiveness but never 'repenting,' and put it behind them. Maybe I didn't hear then, but they didn't so much as say sorry. Hell, they barely left me alone when I asked. Especially on my birthday. I wanted to watch the new Spiderman, and would have alone if not for me being sick and needing a ride. I'd wait and watch it a different day even tho it was my birthday, because I wouldn't want to risk getting others sick, but they already bought tickets. So I couldn't say Later. My birthday hardly felt like a day at all. I hate my family.
Sorry for the long comment lol, just had to put my raw, jumbled, nonsensical thoughts somewhere
Additional notes- I have autism, and I'm half deaf in both ears. My family does not care enough to take the time to accommodate or understand my specific needs. This corrupt religion enhances their inconsideration

Hello everyone. I don’t know where to begin but as you can see by the title, it’s been pretty rough. It’s basically been downfall after downfall. This is pretty long so please bare with me. This week has been full of torment. To start off, I decided to go to a party with the remaining money I had left in my bank account. I really just wanted to cheer myself up as the past couple of months have been really hard. My two friends were going and we really just wanted a night of fun to get the summer started.
It started off pretty okay but as we were on our way there, my platform sandals broke and I had to walk barefoot in the middle of a pitch black forest. Dangerous, I know but it was a well known underground party that I go to all the time and luckily I didn’t scrape my feet or get any bites. During the night, the DJ kept messing up and people were starting to leave. People kept aggressively hitting on me and I started to feel uneasy. My friend then got the good idea of giving me her socks as I told her I wanted to leave early. I decided to go to my now ex-situationship’s house just to crash. He didn’t really want me there but the buses and train don’t run in my area until the morning so he was my last resort.
While I was going there, I almost got assaulted on the train. The only reason why I went in that specific cart was because I saw two police officers and only one other guy so I thought I was safe. I wanted to dose off a little as I was buzzed and extremely tired. After a couple stops, something told me to wake up and that’s when I saw the police weren’t there anymore and the other guy was walking towards me. I quickly gave him a death stare while putting my hands in my purse to make it seem like I had some type of weapon. He backed off a little until I realized he was unzipping his pants. At that moment I felt true terror and ran to the door. I was close to my stop and all I could do was stand in the corner while freaking out. I got to my stop and a lady started yelling “He was doing something in there!” and asked If I was okay. After some time I luckily arrived to my ex’s house and was totally out of it. My phone had died and all I wanted to do was sleep. I told him I didn’t want to do anything in terms of sex but he wouldn’t listen and he never does when I say no. At that point, I made up in my mind that I was never going to see him again.
I slowly ended things with him after that night. I was with him for nine months. He took my virginity and breadcrumbed me the entire time. I honestly think he was an evil man with bad intentions and I gave him benefit of the doubt even though he hid from me that he had a kid and an ex-wife. Plus he gave me an infection (I’m good now thank god). I feel like the most stupid person alive but he was my first and I honestly thought If I were to ever get into a relationship, I would be the one to have good boundaries but I guess not. I know better now. I was emotionally checked out of it for a long time as well.
So I went on hinge. I was getting ghosted left and right, up until I met this guy that I thought I hit it off with. He actually seemed to be willing to take me on a date and we were super excited about it. The day comes (which was yesterday morning) and he texted me saying he “partied too hard” and wouldn’t be able to make it. I said it was all good and we could reschedule but no response. That would’ve been my first date ever, in my life. Ya… The guy who took my virginity never took me on a date… Sad, I know.
Another thing is, I lost my job about almost a year ago and I’ve been looking ever since. Obviously to no luck but then about a month ago I basically got fake hired at this food service job. They gave me the offer on the spot during an interview and I started training about a week after but the second week rolled by and they gave me ZERO hours. I’ve been trying to contact them by calling and sending emails but they went completely AWOL. Now you’re probably wondering maybe I did something that could’ve caused this but honestly and truthfully, I didn’t cause any problems and was actually the most reserved person on the whole team. I’m very shy. Maybe they just didn’t see something in me I guess. So now I’m still looking.
On top of all this mess I’ve been struggling with my parents as they want me to go to college so badly. I’m not good at school at all. I have chronic ADHD and it’s hard for me to do things and no, this isn’t an excuse either. In High school, I never did my homework because it would take so long. One homework assignment from one subject would take all day. I specifically remember doing math homework one day because I felt such guilt from not being able to do my homework. I sat down and did it but my mind would constantly wander. It would take me a long time to concentrate. I would constantly have to re-read the questions and my answer. I’ve been trying to get help for myself but I don’t have money and my insurance isn’t good. It doesn’t cover psychiatrists and therapists that are for ADHD or autism. I need medication for my ADHD, depression and anxiety before I could even think about going to school.
All this to say, I haven’t been going out with friends or texting them as of recently. I feel too much shame in my life to have a good time anymore. This is just the tip of the iceberg as the past 3 years have been continuous hell. I feel like a waste of life and I seriously think about ending my life everyday. I have no one close to me. No one I can reach out to. I’m only trying to stay alive because I want to give my little brother a better life but this is just too hard. I have zero passion in life. I try new hobbies and get a little hopeful but then I start to feel empty, burnt out and crash. Every. Single. Time… I’m just in pure agony. I’m deeply sorry because I know for a fact I sound insufferable but there is undeniable pain here.

Me(F17) and my dad (M51) have a decently strong relationship. But there is some times where it can get a bit out of hand and yeah I can see why, being a teenager and the middle child but the oldest girl, a dad can’t deal with a moody girl teen. Recently I’ve had to use these skull candy earbuds for school and to listen to music, etc. they are okay. They get me through my day without any problem but I can get made fun of because I have an iPhone 13 and no air pods. I don’t understand why people care but it’s whatever.
A couple months ago I used AirPod pros that were my dads, I slowly used them more and more after I got my iPhone back in July of 2022 After years of having an android. I slowly used them and brung them to school everyday etc. note they are still his and he says I can borrow them, but I have a soft spot in my dads heart where he doesn’t really care if I use them 24/7. Then Christmas hits and he then states that “they are mine” as a Christmas present but he says it very faintly to the point where I think “he’s not gonna remember they are mine” Later on being the stupid idiot I am I accidentally washed them when I forgot I had them in my jeans. I panic and tell my dad and he’s decently calm about it. Only the left one works so I wanted to buy a replacement for the right one but he wouldn’t let me. Later on I forgot abt them and left them in my room thinking I would just wait till my birthday or something.
Months past and I still use the skull candy ones and I’m fine. I don’t rlly care. But recently i was looking into them and figuring out how much a full set is or if my dad can just buy a replacement for the broken one, etc. note: I was being kinda rude to him just bc I was joking around. And being kinda spoiled.) He then gets a bit heated that I’m asking about this and says that I should just leave it. i get I am spoiled but I joke around abt it a lot. I can be dumb and my dad knows. But a bit ago my mom lost an AirPod at the airport and can’t get it back. I take this as an advantage and take the current AirPod she has in the case since she no longer uses them and I now have a full working set of airpods. I don’t mention it to dad and then put them on the charger. He then states that they are still his.
I say in a joking way “you said they were mine at Christmas” this triggers something in his head and he loses his temper and says he doesn’t care anymore (he does) and then gets up and calls me a brat for it when I was just trying to finally get my/his air pods fixed. He then mocks me for all the stuff/jokes I’ve said to him and After mentioning that I said they were mine he acts as if he never said that in the first place Note: he has owed me a pair because of how many times I’ve bothered him about it and how much stuff I’ve got him. Instead he just pushes it all to the side and doesn’t care. Anyway after the yelling I feel bad and sink down in the couch sad. He then asks in a mad tone “why are you so sad?!” And this makes him more enraged but quietly. I feel guilty af already. But he did say they were mine. He then calms down and my brother (M24) was sitting at the table listening to all of this. He walks away and then texts me “the smart thing is to give those back to dad. Please. I bought those for his birthday. Don’t claim them cause he’s just gonna lose it again” I don’t understand. I text him “he’s owed me a pair since Christmas. And before I put them through the wash he said they were mine”
I feel more guilty but my dad said they were mine? I have no clue and now he’s saying I can just “borrow them” he doesn’t care about them till now. So AITA

okay, so i got very drunk with my friend and at first, we both wanted to have sex. then, not long after we started, i realised i absolutely did not wanna do this. i was at her house so i went under the covers of her bed and said i didnt want to do it anymore. she kept going despite the fact that i was yelling for her to stop. we were both too drunk for our consent to really count i think, but i was trying to make it clear i didnt want to and she kept going, and im pretty sure she heard me. she cant remember anything from that night, and now im avoiding her because i dont want to see her or go back to her house, im already really upset about this. but shes obviously asking whats going on because i am obviously acting very different, but i just cant bring yself to tell her. what do i say? can i even call it rape?

So literally around this time last year I met this girl ( I was trying to go after her best friend but after some drama long story short we started to date ) and everything was okay I guess, she had just got out of a 5 year relationship and I just got out of a 7 year one. We took things slow at first and eventually we would have our fights but eventually it turned into every day, like I would forget to text and I’d get an ear full and she’s come over un announced and I’d loose my shit, I’m not claiming either of us were perfect and we did try to fix this issues, I was constantly ask her to go out and do things ( the bar, a walk in the park, grocery shopping) but all she would want to do is watch Disney+ and do the nasty. Eventually in September we went on a 3 week break to see if this would help. Well after we got back together it went back to the same repeat situation, there came a time in December where I asked her to spend a Sunday with me so I could treat her to a spa day as a Christmas gift and when that day came I got ignored all day cause she was “ at her exes visiting her dogs “ I could never ever find out if this was true or not as she wouldn’t let me near him as he would “ move awake and take my dogs “ according to her, anyways on that day I lost it as I spent around $400 on mani pedi reservations and message appointment as during the holidays they weren’t accepting refunds. And we eventually stopped talking for the last week of December, now everything from January to march was okay, things got worked on a bit and I was hopping things would get better, but when march came it was her “ birthday month “ not her birthday so the whole month I was basically on eggshells, she would yell at me if I touched the radio or the thermostat in the car, but yet would let her best friend do whatever to the car, on the day before her bday she didn’t want to go out and do something she just wanted a repeat of Disney+ and fun time, and the next day on her birthday I found out that she was on a party bus with the girl who basically got me hammered by ordering me doubles instead of singles and got black out drunk she took advantage of me. And according to her when I found out I shouldn’t have gotten mad as “ since I haven’t told the cops it didn’t happen “ and yet I said okay and continued to be with her, ever since march it’s been fights over and over and last week we got into an argument as I told her I’m felling distant as we’re not doing anything besides fighting over spilt milk and when it comes to doing other things you do it with other people and so she hung up on me and I didn’t get a call or text until she messaged me 8 hours later saying “ hey I’m almost at my cousins I decided to go there for the weekend “ ( btw her cousin lives 3 hours away ) and so I told her “ if we’re going to have all these fights and not be a couple and you’re just going to run away from me and your problems then I think it’s best if we end this and focus on ourselves “ and so she blocked me and I didn’t know this till the next day when I called and it only rang once when I called so I just accepted the fact. Now follow just a couple hours ago I get a call from a blocked number and it’s her asking if we “ can actually try again “ and that “ things will be different “ but I honestly don’t know what to do as I still have feelings for her but I don’t want the constant fights and feeling like fuck buddies.
TL;DR ~ Me and my ex broke up cause of constant drama and now she wants to try again after a week of being broken up

Never review games but here is my first ever:
This used to be a great game but it’s horrible. I understand the idea that you lose games here and there and that Supercell has arranged the game for equal matches played but they’re are too many instances where I just lose for weeks straight, always the last two weeks of the season. I started keeping statistics to my game wins and loses, since you’re unable to keep track of them in the game, in terms of being able to rate your play on average with a percentage of the damage done to all three towers. I’m not going to get into how this algorithm works, it’s actually simple, it’s just math. The algorithm breaks down your playing time and tells you what your average damage is and keeps a percentage of your wins and tower damage. I went a little further since the game allows you to have ten (10) decks, which decided to find out how many times my elixir pump is either my sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth card. The first two weeks it’s an equal amount to of time where it’s either the sixth or seventh card but the second two weeks it stays at the tenth position 86% of the time and ninth card 14%. I’ve been running this algorithm for the last five months and it’s been consistent as all get out. When I write the company their response is everyone goes through a losing streak, but we can see your a good/experienced player and they offer the solution of taking a break. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that at first glance but once you think about it and the culture of the game you realize that Supercell has set the game up in order for you not to do something like that. Why? Well, you join clans and you play games to help the clan advance and place first in the clan wars portion of the game. Clans almost always want you to play the game but the always want you to participate in clan wars. Missing these will result in you being kicked out of the clan. It’s just disconcerting that the company won’t give you simple answers to how they match you up. I’ve been playing the past two weeks and and can’t chip away damage at the tower more than 1500 hp damage, normally I’m able to counter and destroy a tower or two but always in the game. Every two weeks before the season comes to an end I experience the absolute be situations. I’ve paid for a monthly pass since they’ve started offering it and this has been consistent since the start. I’ve been playing video games since I was a kid and never experienced losses like I do here. The best ones are the matches where I’m able to chip away at their tower within low double digits to single digits but always just falling short. I really enjoyed this game but I can’t back it if they’re not going to be honest about their process. Here’s a little story: back in the early eighties there was a game called Pac-Man. It appeared to be this sort of difficult game to advance in and it really was. I was a kid back then but years later it was revealed that the ghost move in the same pattern each time they leave their area. The only time they divert from that is of Pac-Man is in their vicinity. What I’m saying here is the only ones who knew this information initially was the creators. Same situation here. Thank Supercell, it’s been fun (until it no longer was).

Relocated to Jersey from FL with a short term lease that ended up being illegal as the home was never registered or inspected by township for certificate of occupancy which is against state and local law. We backed out of living there because the stairs were extremely dangerous for our young children and the home just was not a good option for our family. The floors were covered in kid from a showing prior to our arrival that day so we left the home and got a hotel. We also alerted the landlord that the condition of the home was not as expected and informed him we were heading out to a hotel. The premise of the lease was an investor wanted to "help us out" with the request of our realtor while we waited to close on the home we are purchasing. He also made certain to call and make it clear to us that it was "not about the money" however after we got to a hotel and called him back asking to be let out of the lease without penalty because we just realized the home was not going to be safe for our family, he then said he would only give back 4k. We paid him 5200 already to cover first month and security deposit but never moved anything in. After singing the lease we were unable to put the utilities in our own name based on the fact that the unit had not been inspected (gas & electric) by technicians to ensure safety. When I mentioned this to my realtor she reached out to the landlord and he said that the services are all on at the property , so naturally in good faith I assumed he had the home inspected. He did not. We have decided to sue as he should have never leased this home to us. I spoke with the gas company and they mentioned that services show that they are on but no one is attached to the property in their system and it is suspected that a locked meter may have been ulocked without their knowledge. My question is, since I do not have photos of the stairs or the home as we left immediately after our children fell, would having a written notice (which I do have) from the gas company about the need for a technician to visit and conduct a safety inspection be enough cause to show that the home was inhabitable and unsafe? There have been no inspections on the property what so ever and I don't understand how a judge would expect that we would live in a home when we have the township telling us it is illegal without inspections or force us to pay for breaking an illegal contract. I now suspect that the home is an illegally flipped home after doing some research. It went under contract for purchase the day after we backed out of the lease/move-in day. He kept $2200 and we sent two formal demands in request of all of the money we have paid him. He stated we broke our deal/contract and would only give 1k more. So now I am planning to sue. I want to get paid the remaining $2200 we gave him before arrival to the property and relocation expenses for the hotel and the Airbnb that we were forced to get into since the lease was illegal. If anyone takes the time to read this and share feedback, that would be much appreciated. (Legal advice sub has no real activity)

Claim: Vignerons
Claim type: Sedentary
Tech: Iron Age / Horse domestication, spoked wheel, writing, wine-making, heraldry
Economy/Population: Opt-in
Map
Background
The specific origin of the Vignerons (wine-makers) is not easy to pin down to one group or even one region. Indeed, much of what is today considered wine-maker culture is an amalgam of customs and traditions developed and co-oped over centuries.
It is at least known that the first of the Vignerons, the so-called 'Early Wine-maker Culture' (EWC), developed in the Po Valley region of Italy with the arrival of various Celtic tribes from the north and their contact and assimilation with the native Italic peoples. However, due to drought or war, the EWC migrated into the southern foothills of the Alps where they perfected their signature cultural marker, wine-making (a practice originally started in the Valley by their Italic ancestors), and eventually back into the Po Valley some few hundred years later.
Two hundred years ago, a disastrous war between two rival confederations of the Italo-Celtic peoples, one side of which included the Vignerons, saw great disruption in the way of life in the region, leading to depopulation due to emigration as many tribes migrated in nearly all directions. A splinter group of the early Vignerons first migrated into Illyria and Pannonia and eventually into the region of Thrace, where the wine-maker clans decided to finally settle, establishing small towns and villages that were each overseen by a 'petty lord' — this settlement of the region brought them into conflict with the native Thracian people who were conquered and subjugated and have since become an 'under-class', subject to the authority of foreign masters where the only option for social advancement is via service and education in the wine-maker way.
Today, the Wine-maker Confederation follows an oligarchic form of leadership where a 'judge' is elected from among the petty lords to serve as a sort of arbiter of justice and mediator. However, due to the growth in power of some lords, the pool of electables has continued to shrink as the wine-maker people develop into something more than a confederation of clans: a state.

This subreddit helped me so much in navigating my debut album release that I wished to share my experience, my approach, and stats as it might help or at least inspire others who are yet to do this.
*Aaaand it is also here to point out mistakes I wouldn’t repeat myself nor would love anyone else to repeat them!
**This is a very long post, sorry!
To give you a little bit of context - I moved to Melbourne from Croatia in mid-2019 and until then I was a front woman in a successful post-punk band.
Arrived to Melbourne without knowing anyone, then the longest lockdown hit and by 2021 I realised I need to pivot and do something solo because there was no way for me to meet people, form a new band and perform live. So I started learning Ableton and now here I am, just released my debut album which is also my debut as a record producer.
The music I do is very niche and specific; most of the songs are bilingual where I combine traditional Croatian/Slavic folk singing into my choruses or intros with experimental dark wave/EBM/even trip-hop elements. I call it Slavic-pop, Slavic-darkwave, a lot of people compares me with IC3PEAK, Sevaliza, FKA Twigs, Slavic Fever Ray/Knife.
This new solo project is called ŽIVA (as in ‘being alive’) and you can find it on all platforms (socials handle is _xziva).
This also means that literally no one knows about me here in Australia except for my 5 friends and my partner, while in the Balkans I do have a decent following and a good media support.
Last thing to take into the account is that like a lot of us here, everything I do is DIY; this is a one-woman show where I do literally everything from song composition, production and live performance, to styling, social media, marketing etc…And since I learn on the go, I’ve made a lot of mistakes that I can now see clearly in hindsight…So keep that in mind as well!
TIMELINE I’ve used for my releases:
April 10th Early access open for single Bad Blood (if you leave your email and follow on Spotify, you get the single video in your inbox 24 hours before everyone else)
April 21st Single out (with video) + album announcement
April 28th Single launch gig (headline) in Melbourne
May 23rd Debut album out
May 25th Album launch gig (headline) in Melbourne
​

1. SubmitHub

For me, this was the biggest waste of money and something I will never ever repeat. Luckily I didn’t spend too much money but I should have listened to my gut feeling as well as most of your posts here. While I actually did have some success and got featured in some of the independent media/playlists, it was not worth either the money nor the time. It feels wrong while I do it and although I can partially see the idea behind having a paywall because journalism has been discredited and underpaid for a long time, this is not a way to go.
I also did an experiment and paid an influencer to put one of my songs up in her video + asked her for stats after, but since there is no way of knowing how many people actually came from her profile to mine, I don’t see the value in continuing to invest in this.
📚Conclusion: Works better for generic songs, nothing too experimental, will never do this again, would perhaps re-consider it if I am doing something more mainstream but even then would need more convincing.
STATS
cost: $80USD
content: 3 different songs
Success rate: 12%
​

1. Facebook & IG ads

This was my first time ever doing these, so a huuuuge learning curve. To teach myself how to do this, I was reading everything on this sub + did a lot of YouTube tutorials such as the one from Andrew Southworth to get ideas.
📚Conclusion: probably your best bet of all ways of
STATS (April 21st - June 3rd)
cost: $1045AUD
campaign objectives: Melbourne gig attendance (awareness + conversion), Spotify streaming, YouTube streams/subscribers
target audience: digital art, electronic music, darkwave/EBM, Blender (my aesthethic is very much combination of traditional look + digital manipulation, 3D rendering, scans)
RESULTS BREAKDOWN:
Spotify
+200 followers
+12,700 plays
YouTube
+170 subscribes
+6500 plays
Bandcamp
+500 plays
Soundcloud
+550 plays
​

1. Publicist

I didn’t use a paid PR / publicist this time because I just couldn’t afford it BUT now I am happy that played that way. Reason being - I was quoted $4000AUD for an album campaign and yet I’ve managed to get a positive response from almost all those media outlets myself (to whom they would have reached out). The biggest drawback from not hiring them is the fact that I didn't manage to get 1(!?) TripleJ Unearthed review and Australian media outlet feature. This is probably the hardest thing I ever wanted to break, I literally have 0 responses from any Aussie based outlet. This is also something I want to crack, just not sure where's the catch - is it that the publicists are gatekeepers or its just too competitive and I am unknown....
Important to note is that I did hire them for a single campaign back in 2022 and while it did yield some features and TripleJ reviews...It was too much work for me. I literally had to write texts for different Aussie blogs that have various topics (name your top 5 artists and why etc)...it ended up being quite a lot of work for me as an artists rather than just chilling while someone else does it. It might be that I have the wrong approach but idk...
Still - I think it is waaaay too expensive and at this stage (until proven otherwise) I will rather grind myself and persevere and send loads of emails than pay this insane amount.
📚Conclusion: Not worth the money, my stand atm is that I will invest in my materials, my music, photos, instagram profile, tiktoks, live performances....and then those outlets will eventually will come to me? 💡 Is is wrong to think this?
​

1. Socials

I’ve literally have never been this active on socials as I am since mid March, early April. I figured that this is the way to go and decided to approach it as part of the job and give it structure which always works for me and leaves out any unnecessary dwelling and procrastination.
TikTok - I barely did anything….and this is my biggest problem atm and something I actually plan to tackle now, sort of post-album release, create some videos about the process etc..this is my weak point and everything would probably be even better if I had resolved this and been active.
But regarding Instagram & FB there are two biggest changes in my approach that seem to change my game completely and yield MASSIVE results.
a) I now actually actively engage with my followers, watch their stories, comment, interact….It actually feels good, I do it in a natural way, interact with content I really do resonate with so it’s actually not hard, just needs dedication & time.
b) I decided to just continue being genuine in my posts and if it doesn’t do well (in the numbers game) - who cares, at least it’s really me rather than something I thought will get viral. This really helped alleviate some of the imposter syndrome feelings which are present whenever I post something.
📚Conclusion: These two combined ended up creating an amazing community of almost die hard fans for me, where every single one of them shared the news about my album.
STATS (April 21st - June 3rd)
cost: $0 (a lot of time though - I dedicate min. 30mins every morning just to go through my audience’s stories/posts etc)
Success rate: 100% :) hehe, not sure how to measure this but I am sure that this was one of the main contributors of converting my followers into my passionate music fans.
Instagram
+ 375 new followers (in this moment I have 2,100 followers)
+average 1,800 reach per post
+average 400 views per story
Facebook (keep in mind that I am not very active on FB, so just trying to keep it alive with occasional posts, 2x per week sharing only relevant stuff)
​

1. Spotify Playlisting

USER PLAYLISTS: I took the manual route and this time actually skimmed the entire Spotify to find playlists that could potentially put my song onto their playlist. It took a lot of time but it also yielded incredible results FOR 0 money!
PAID PLAYLISTS: I’ve done just one for the sake of gaining information and doing the math. I paid $15USD to get the following: - placement on two playlists that have 7k listeners combined
- feature/reshare of my single video on an IG profile that has 200k followers
I got around 300 streams from this up until this point (3 weeks).
EDITORIAL PLAYLISTS: No success. I’ve pitched 2 songs (single and then another one I choose from the album) and even included suggestions on what playlists I think I would be a great fit but yeah, zero points here.
📚Conclusion: Knowing your genre is one of the most important thing because it is an information you use to wisely create ads + pitch your music to the right people aka playlisters. I will keep on doing this although its time consuming to go through Spotify and their instagram, but totally worthwhile if you have the right song/genre! Those playlists are your potential fans and they will do it for free!
Thank you for all your help and amazing discussions/advice - it would have been much harder without you! 🖤

Hey everyone, I'm an AP in an Australian High School and have been for 10 years. I was just thinking of a few things over the years that have worked for me and wrote it down over the weekend.. Just a random list and hate to be repetitive but hopefully a few are helpful! Cheers, Tim

1. Never assume on a Monday that students have been well fed or looked after over the weekend or that they are looking forward to the weekend on a Friday.
2. Always be the first person in your classroom each morning. Great students positively and respectfully.
3. Know your kids. Who do they play football for? What team do they follow? What is their favourite video game? Where do they want to go for further education or college? What advantages and disadvantages do they have towards their further education?
4. Develop consistent classroom routines and be reasonable and non-negotiable on these. Keep these routines the same throughout the school year.
5. Be prepared to have challenging and pro-active conversations with parents, even if they are difficult. At the end of the day, parents want and need to know how their kids are going at school.
6. Use brain-breaks for students. During each lesson a walk, stretch, off-topic quiz or just general chat can work wonders.
7. Get on the best possible terms with the ancillary staff and office staff as much as you can. They are amazing people within any school community and often the people that students are most comfortable talking to and connect with the best.
8. With minor behavioural issues, the class or homegroup teacher should always be the one that contacts home, not senior staff – otherwise this disempowers and devalues the importance of the homegroup teacher and places an over reliance on senior staff.
9. In schools where uniform is in place, this should be non-negotiable and the core teacher or grade leader should be responsible for maintaining high standards around this.
10. Student learning should be differentiated and there should be accountability towards this from all teachers and support staff.
11. Students should focus on maintaining their lockers or personal space neatly and this should be checked regularly and built into the program of the core teacher or appropriate person.
12. Each week teachers should make a minimum of two or three positive phone calls or communications home when students have done something positive or well. There is often a feeling of dread when the school number comes up on the phone or SMS and this strategy can alleviate this with parents.
13. Try and follow social media trends with students. These change regularly and can impact on student involvement and focus in class.
14. Have extra resources in each classroom – pens, pencils, poster paper etc. Don’t scramble five minutes before class to contact the Art Teacher to organise this.
15. In formal settings (Assemblies, Parent Information Sessions) establish high levels of formality and personal conduct from all members of the school community. Students thrive on routine.
16. When organising special events such as those outlined above a set-up crew of students can do jobs quickly and with a minimum of fuss.
17. Have weekly Grade Assemblies and have these on a Tuesday or Wednesday when students are most focused and regulated.
18. Try to never let students go hungry. Use breakfast or lunch programs, fruit breaks and other options to make sure everyone gets the opportunity to eat healthily and well.
19. Celebrate success – if any student makes a representative club, organisation, team, or does something positive, their peers should know about it and it should be recognised at school in whatever way the school sees as appropriate.
20. Have a social club and have this occur regularly. Staff should be able to socialise and debrief together.
21. The last day of term should have some sort of celebratory activity of what has been achieved to that point of the year – if it involves staff and students in events such as a sporting activity then that should be celebrated and promoted with the school community.
22. During changeover of lessons, staff should have shared expectations of what the changeover looks like, swapping of resources and keeping students calm and manageable.
23. Teachers should monitor that students are hydrated and have access to food. Fruit breaks and access to food is really important.
24. Too many students ‘fall through the cracks’. Most phone calls to parents are about negative behaviour. Try and have two positive conversations about student behaviour to every three that you have about negative behaviour.
25. The Leadership Team at the school understand your frustration and what you are dealing with. They are also doing the same and are stressed out too.
26. If you are a 9/10 teacher get your head around what is happening in 11/12. Likewise if you are 7/8 get your head around 9/10. The curriculum is sequential and builds on prior knowledge and learning.
27. Some of the most meaningful conversations you will have are with your colleagues in your staffroom and around the water-cooler or in the main administration area. Appreciate these and have senior staff embrace them.
28. As much as you can as an educator, be healthy.
29. Get the local scrap metal yard, newsagency, closest farm or community organisation to be a partner of the school in either assisting with Work Placements or other forms of engagement.
30. On any Staff Development day or Professional Learning session, staff should wear casual clothes and the school should provide lunch and coffee. Goodwill aplenty and creates a better atmosphere.
31. Give staff once a term (or Semester) surprise early break where they can go home early with limited notice.
32. Senior staff should always write a Christmas Card and a Birthday card to the people on their team and acknowledge the importance of their role.
33. Students really need to know things that (in the day to day) aren’t always considered such as fire drills, lockdowns and critical incidents. There should be conversations around expecting the unexpected from time to time.
34. Teachers should be aware that students on busses to and from school have a much different experience than those that walk to and from school.
35. Some students are very anxious about their reputation with teachers based on preconceived notions of their siblings or relatives from that particular teacher. Never compare siblings or family members – such as ‘Your sister would have been able to do that’ or ‘How come you’re not like your brother?’ etc.
36. Decorate your classroom and make it feel welcoming. That’s totally your responsibility and no one else’s.
37. If you’re a beginning teacher- you’re a legend and mad respect! It is more important than ever though in those first few years of teaching to have boundaries about work/life balance and not let everything get to you or to be overwhelmed. Whatever service your employer provides, please use it if you need to.
38. Just be yourself. Kids actually respect their teachers and there is a misconception that they don’t. You’re a lot better role-model that they often get outside of school hours. Embrace that and enjoy that opportunity.
39. Establish learning goals and success criteria for lessons, but don’t make this the be all for each lesson. The main focus should be on student engagement and an evidence based approach to this.
40. Have disengaged students help in the canteen, maintenance area or workshop and celebrate their progress via social media or school newsletter.
41. Work-placements and opportunities are your friend – some students are better at two or three days a week than full time schooling during high school.
42. Be kind and be present with students and staff. Avoid confrontation where you can and have some mates at school that have your back.
43. Look at ways to incentivise the curriculum for students and grades each term – if students reach a certain target around attendance, engagement or retention, this is something to be celebrated!
44. Parents are an integral part of the school community and even though it’s High School they know their kids better than we do. Never be afraid to call them and have a tough conversation. It’s better to do that than not at all and it will create a collaborative partnership.