Hi friends! I submitted a diary in February 2021 that you can find here! Since then we’ve sold one house, started higher-paying jobs, moved states to be closer to family, rented a kind of busted house, bought another charming fixer-upper of a house, and given in fully to lifestyle creep, especially when it comes to plants and gardens.
❤️ Section 1: Assets and Debt
Total Net Worth: $108,763 if you believe the equity calculator I reference below. Negative tens of thousands if you think the housing market is about to crash or even just reset!
Retirement Balance: $10,000 for me, split just about evenly between a Roth and a 401k; $25,500 for my husband, L. This will make more sense when you get to the “income progression” section, and after you accompany me as I spend money like I have money to spend, every day.
Savings Account Balance: $17,000 split between an “upcoming house repairs & dental fund.” The first $7k is spoken for already between a big chimney repair ($3k) and an expensive upcoming dental appointment for L ($4k), both in April. The remaining $10k we don’t touch – it’s for an emergency fund.
Checking Account Balance: $1000ish. I try to keep this pretty low to discourage my own spending, which works only sometimes.
Credit Card Debt: $12,100 left from our home renovations and move last October. We got two 0% APR cards to finance this, and will pay both off before the APR jumps at the end of this year.
Student Loan Debt: $80,000 for L’s undergrad and MAT. $18,000 for my undergrad and (unfinished, womp womp) MAT. We aren’t paying on this til we have to, and are hoping it will be forgiven – mine via Biden, since I was a Pell Grant recipient, and L’s via PSLF.
Equity: $145,000. This number is from an online equity calculator, and is for our century-old house in a very walkable neighborhood in a popular Southern city, but who knows whether it’s real or not. Numbers that are real: We paid $570,000 for the home last fall, including a 20% down payment that my dad split evenly with us – his portion from his recent inheritance, our portion from the sale of our previous home.
When we started looking in 2021, our “stretch budget” was $450k, but the housing market exploded and it seemed like overnight the base budget for kind of place we were looking for was more like $650k (I’m committed to city living, and we wanted to make sure there was enough space for my sister, J, and her boyfriend to continue living with us, given the skyrocketing rent prices). We bit the bullet on this place after my dad offered to pay for half the down payment. That gift helped us avoid PMI, so that the rent we were paying for a worse place was comparable to the monthly payment on this one. We spent the remaining $15,000 from our previous home sale buying down the rate and on moving costs, repairs, furnishing, gardens, appliances, etc, and then still took out about $12,000 more in credit card debt to renovate the bathrooms and make a few other upgrades.
❤️ Section 2: Income
Monthly Take Home: My base pay is $125,000, and L’s is $55,000. We bring in about $11,400 a month after taxes. The whole family’s health insurance is paid in full by my work, and our pre-tax retirement contribution details are below.
Income Progression: I’ve been working since I was 15 years old, moved out at 18, and paid my own bills starting that year, but income below starts the year I graduated college.
Year 1: $15,000 (part time ABA therapist, full time baby anarchist)
Years 2-8: $28,000 (This is a rough average of my income across these years. I accepted a spot in Teach for America right out of college in order to have a salary, despite my maximalist politics at the time, and kept working with young people for years after my TFA service ended. I paid for L’s expenses in college and supported a few other family members off and on while I taught. When I took a big pay cut to do youth organizing work for a couple years, L’s teacher salary helped support us).
Year 9: $45,000 (got a full-time nonprofit fundraising job, quit teaching)
Year 10: $55,000 (got a raise)
Year 11: $65,000 (got a raise and promotion)
Year 12: $75,000 (was promoted again, realized I was still underpaid)
Year 13: $98,000 (was hired by my current employer)
Year 14: $125,000 (was promoted!)
❤️ Section 3: Expenses
Mortgage, Taxes, & Insurance: About $3,000. My sister and her boyfriend currently live with us and contribute $600 of this total payment each month, but we budget as if we pay the full mortgage ourselves.
Investment Contribution: L’s retirement is pulled out of his check before he receives it: it’s $289 a month. I put $170 into my 401k, directly out of my check. I also contribute $100 to a Roth IRA through Acorns each month. Through Acorns we also have a UTMA/UGMA account for B which gets $100 a month, and we put $40 a month into a taxable brokerage account.
Savings Contribution: We tally an extra $1.5k-$3k a month beyond expenses, and are expecting $6k back from our tax return this year. But we aren’t prioritizing savings right now, and instead are: 1. cashflowing L’s timely dental work (found out in the course of this diary that we’re looking at about $11k this year); 2. paying down the debt on our credit cards ($12k, see above); and 3. cashflowing a few must-do house projects (estimating about $8k total for those).
Debt Payments: See above! As I mentioned, we have student loan debt to the tune of $100k but aren’t paying right now. I actually paid my loans down by $10k during COVID with money from our first house sale. But I panicked when Biden said he was going to forgive loans and got my full payment during the pandemic – all $10k – reversed. That money is now our emergency savings account.
Electric/Gas: $150ish, varies significantly. We installed a high-efficiency wood stove when we moved in, which cuts down on the cost of our old furnace a bit.
Internet: $80
Water: $75
Cellphone: $100, for L & I both
Subscriptions: $10 Spotify; $10 Youtube music; $2.99 Apple data; $22 NYT, for newspaper and cooking app; $5 for Acorns. I also pay yearly: $40 for the Freedom app, $20 for Hobnob, and $60 for Insight Timer.
Car Payment and Insurance: $200 for insurance. This covers both of our used cars and my dad’s used handicap van. We paid off our 2012 Honda Fit when we sold our last house, and recently paid cash for a Honda CRV with 180k miles which we use for family trips.
Medical/Therapy: $0. My therapist is $181 a session, and I see her twice a month – but this is covered by my job’s MERP card. I also get an inhaler at least twice a month - that’s reimbursed too, but would cost $60 otherwise.
Pet Expenses: Our precious pittie suffered some injuries before we adopted her. She’s on Gabapentin daily for pain management which is about $60 a month.
CSA: $40/week minimum – this is a special CSA service that has all kinds of tempting goodies, so I usually spend more.
Coworking space: $150. I expense $100 of this to work.
Gym memberships: $75 for a family Y membership, and $120 for my spin studio; I also buy 10-packs to the yoga studio down the street every few months, which are $120 a pop.
Donations: Varies. We give $10 monthly to our local Democratic Socialists of America and $10 monthly to the Working Families Party. We give one-off donations when asked or when we come across a need, usually $50-$100 at a time. Once we have less immediate debt, I plan to up our recurring gifts.
Childcare: $600. B goes to the best public preschool in the land – he was on the waiting list for 18 months. We previously paid double this for a subpar Montessori school run out of a church basement. Often babysitting is an extra $100 or so a month.
Kids’ Activities: $120 every three months or so – think swim lessons, toddler soccer, etc.
Outdoorsy memberships: $110 yearly for memberships to nonprofit parks, botanical gardens, etc etc. These are not too expensive and a fun way to spend a day with little ones.
House cleaner: $320. They come twice a month and charge $160 each time. This is some of the best money I spend each month.
Nuuly: $94. This has been a gamechanger for work travel.
❤️ Section 4: Money Diary
✨DAY 1: TUESDAY✨
5:00 am: I wake up wheezing with two pudgy legs draped right across my chest. My three-year-old, B, gave me a cold that I’ve just recovered from, but my asthma is still a bit aggrieved. I disentangle myself from B and head downstairs to make a french press and get some work in before everyone’s up.
6:30 am: B comes running downstairs, naked and boisterous as ever. I spare a thought for my little sister, J, and her boyfriend, who share a wall with him. J and her boyfriend have been living with us since the deep pandemic when we all moved together, which has been a blessing for us. But the early mornings and constant circulating upper respiratory infections are doing them in, and they’re moving to a nearby apartment in May. This very basic apartment one-bedroom will double their monthly rent D: And, since J is finishing up school right now and doesn’t have a steady income, L and I had to cosign their lease in order for them to even qualify for the place. Big sigh on housing across America right now.
7:15 am: B and L head out, and I get dressed and do a little more work. At 8:30, I head to my first-ever dermatologist appointment. My mom recently treated me to a mothedaughter facial where I learned that the creeping redness on my nose is likely hereditary rosacea! The facialist suggested I make an appointment with a dermatologist after I informed her that my skincare routine has to date involved only a wet rag and a heavy moisturizer.
The dermatologist suggests a gentle papaya cleanser; a phyto vitamin c serum; a rosacea triple cream; and a moisturizing sunscreen. The cost for the appointment itself ($150) is covered by my MERP card from work, but I pay for the cleanser, serum, and sunscreen from his office ($141) and the rosacea triple cream from an online pharmacy ($49) out of pocket. Thus begins my first-ever skincare routine. Sadly, the dermatologist’s proprietary packaging is ugly, so if you use something similar but cute, please share a link.
10:00 am: I’ve walked the dog, made another cup of coffee, turned on Freedom, and am settling into my laptop for a day of toggling between Google Docs and Zoom rooms.
12:30 pm: M barks rancorously as I’m wrapping up a Zoom call. The Tubies I ordered last week for me (and B) were delivered. It’s SPRING and we are about to eat SMOOTHIE POPS, everybody. It’s also time for lunch, so I heat up this very yummy soup (we subbed veggie sausage and it worked well) and toast a piece of focaccia. I read “I Went On A Package Trip for Lonely Millennials” while I eat. It is every bit as unsettling as it sounds.
1:40 pm: L calls — B has had diarrhea at school and needs to come home. B’s preschool is in the public school where L teaches, which means L handles all pick up and drop off, but my work schedule is much more flexible than L’s so I often do early pickups like this one. I shift my afternoon meetings, notify my direct reports that I’m signing out early, and stop for gas on the way to pick up poor little B. ($40)
4:30 pm: B and I spent the afternoon doing quiet things together – he took a bath, played with toys, and watched some PBS Kids, and I took a few minutes to tie up some loose ends at work. When L gets home at 4:30, we set up the sprinkler on our tiny front “lawn” (currently actually a patch of very-tilled dirt), where we recently seeded low-growing wildflowers.
6:00 pm: I want to drink wine with L while we make veggie fried rice for dinner, but think better of it given that I just got over a cold. L offers to make me a hot toddy (yesssss) but then realizes we’re out of lemons. He and B head to the grocery store around the corner while I finish up dinner. They get lemons, a lime, and a giant bag of lollipops for L’s students. ($11) The hot toddy is delicious.
9:00 pm: B’s bedtime routine is a wrap and my new skincare routine is complete – turns out my face does feel cleaner after a cleanser! I take a nebulizer treatment and read my favorite book that has completely transformed my life, Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts, until we turn out the lights. Goodnight!
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $241
✨ DAY 2: WEDNESDAY✨
5:00 am: I wake up wheezing deeply again. I head downstairs to eat a cold banana and take a prednisone left over from the last time my asthma was aggravated by a cold. I decide to sit for a little Sarah Blondin meditation by the woodstove before I start my early-morning work block. Lesson 8 in this course is my go-to, and is alone worth every bit of the yearly Insight Timer fee.
7:00 am: B and L are awake, but B is staying home from school today so things are a bit slower. I make a mango smoothie for B and then add kale and protein powder for L and I. At 7:45 I don my favorite lilac workout onesie (I have it in black too) and head to my spin class.
9:00 am: I am but one month into spin classes and totally enamored. The dark room and loud music extremely do it for me. After class I stop at the coffee shop next door and buy a big drip coffee to split with L, a sticky bun for L and B to share, and a bag of coffee beans cause we are almost out at home. ($28)
9:30 am: Take a quick post-spin shower while I listen to Iris Dement’s new album, which serves the sound I grew up on and a very earnest progressivism that reminds me of my parents and their sweet Boomer friends who care deeply about abortion access and post anti-racist memes on Facebook. I cover my body in Warm Feelings, spritz on Winter (the best), wriggle into some cheetah-print overalls, and head down to work until L leaves in about an hour and a half.
12:00 pm: My meeting with my boss ran over so L had to leave for work while I was mid-call. I extricate B from Disney+ (we use J’s login) and receive only a moderate tantrum in response. After some breaths, B lays on his blue rug and pretends he’s eating his lunch (a mango pop, grilled cheese, & berries) in the shallow end of a swimming pool. Pre-nap, we read Gabito, a recent fave, and B’s eyes flutter closed during the last few pages. Back to work!
3:30 pm: B comes running into my office but I need to wrap up an important task, so we listen to superhero stories together while I tappity tap. It’s raining out, and L isn’t due home til 6p, so I make a gametime decision to spend the afternoon doing one fun inside thing for me (pick out berry bushes for our garden!) and one fun thing inside thing for B (ride rides inside the mall near the garden center!). B and I gather $2.50 in quarters for his rides, and he dons his Ironman costume and rainboots for the occasion.
At the garden center, we pick out two triple crown blackberry bushes, two chandler blueberry bushes, one heritage everbearing raspberry bush, and, after a quick phone consultation with L, one black tartarian cherry tree. L loves cherries and is very excited to use them in his cocktail-making. We also pick up a galvanized steel watering can since my old thrifted one keeps leaking all over the floor when I water my inside plants. The total is $253. Because I am very excited about this purchase and it’s for our house, it counts as free in my heart.
4:30 pm: B and I are the only nerds in the mall wearing KN95s and clutching quarters in our fists. So far B has purchased a ride on a train ($1) and some tiny banana candies ($.50). He settles on a very exciting race car for his final four quarters – but the greedy car eats his money!!! ($1) We are both very sad, and start searching for a ride that might take a debit card. Then, suddenly, to our left, appears a LEGO STORE. B dashes in and we find that you can build your own tiny Lego person. He happily obliges and I spend $5 on a three-inch-tall Lego man with a spider face and a big helmet.
6:30 pm: Back at home, L and I discuss our most exciting news of the week – L’s youngest sister and her partner arrive at their new apartment in our city TONIGHT! They’ve been living several states away for years. L’s whole family lives in the area and we are all thrilled these two are coming back home. L, B, and I plan to help them unpack tomorrow, and I think we should take them a gift. L heads out to the bottle store down the street to buy two bottles of Morphos (one for us!) ($52), and then goes to the grocery store to buy White Claws and some pull-ups for B. ($25) We could save more money but life is for living.
Dinner is leftover fried rice, and B doesn’t fall asleep til 9. L and I take our favorite CBD gummies before bed and I read the “soft fruits” section of Down to Earth to prepare for our big planting this weekend.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $365.50
✨ DAY 3: THURSDAY✨
6:00 am: I wake up late today – I had trouble sleeping because I couldn’t breathe all night. I make my favorite smoothie for breakfast (which is something like this but incorporates protein powder and frozen kale and cayenne), L eats oatmeal, and B eats two mango smoothie pops plus a cereal bar. They leave around 7:15 am and I get myself together to walk the dog before heading to my coworking space for the day.
8:30 am: I pack up my stuff and ride my bike to my pretty coworking space. The sun is out! It’s spring! The trees are blooming! Everyone is glad.
1:45 pm: I heat up fried rice and drink some of the on-tap kombucha. While I eat, I read Today in Tabs and consider adding it to my monthly expenses so that I can read it more. Our cleaner texts that they’re done at the house, and I Venmo her $160 (included in monthly expenses).
3:10 pm: I decide to bike home before the final Zoom call of the day. I cannot stress enough how glorious it is outside. It’s also glorious inside, thanks to our fabulous cleaner.
Post-call, I make some smol avocado toasts and L calls to say his sibling is not in fact up for a visit tonight – they are whelmed by boxes. We pivot: bike ride to the playground! While at the playground, B is the first kid to hear the ICE CREAM TRUCK approach. Chaos ensues and we spend $5 on one scoop of cookie dough ice cream.
7:00 pm: For dinner we make mini pizzas on TJ’s cauliflower crust. I also make asparagus with a delicious flaked salt left by my bestie the last time they stayed over, and the result is pretty enough to text to them. L makes us gin fizzes with strawberries and with mint from the garden. 🌱
8:00 pm: Teeth brushing is always a slog with B, but on this night I am visited by a stroke of genius. Tonight, I explain to him that the tooth fairy has been hired for a residency at our place and is listening in while he brushes his teeth and uses the potty. If he does a good job, she’ll leave him a coin somewhere in his bedroom. L overhears and makes tooth fairy sounds (think tinkling giggles) from the hallway – B is delighted and brushes his teeth with aplomb. This is a big win! While he uses the potty, I steal away and hide a quarter under the toe of his stuffed Spiderman. He requests tooth fairy bedtime stories and falls asleep listening. ($.25)
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $5.25
✨ DAY 4: FRIDAY✨
6:00 am: Another late wakeup for me. I have a spin class at 8 and a packed workday, so I make my favorite smoothie again and walk M while it’s still dark out. Afterwards, I help B with his teeth brushing/potty routine, and it continues to be so much smoother than ever before thanks to our friend the tooth fairy. This time, L stashes a dime under B’s stuffed bear. B proudly puts the dime and last night’s quarter in his coat pocket and, as I buckle him into his car seat, announces he is NOT sharing his money with his teacher today. I suppose the discussion about whether money should be treated as a public good or a personal asset can come later. On the way to school, L stops for gas. ($25 for gas, $.10 for the tooth fairy)
8:00 am: I arrive at the spin studio and learn that the teacher I expected overslept. His sub unfortunately leaves half the lights on and plays lots of Eminem. I survive the weird vibes and head home for a quick shower before work – no coffee shop stop this time! I am a disciplined and frugal Recessionist millennial.
10:15 am: Our CSA is delivered! It includes spinach, heirloom tomatoes (!! new this week!), apples, lacinato kale, meyer lemons, limes, oyster mushrooms, shiitake mushrooms, red onions, shishito peppers, and mixed cherry tomatoes, plus a delivery charge, for $63, $23 more than the monthly minimum I included in set expenses. I fetch it from the sunny porch and am reminded that urgently want a pair of white platform Birkenstocks for spring. I find a pair in my size in EUC on Poshmark and buy them now: $60 with shipping, a steal compared to $110 new!
1:00 pm: My delightful neighbor and I take lunch together! We walk to a nearby eatery where I get a tempeh reuben and diet soda (my vice), $18 including tip. Over lunch we discuss parenting, gardening, her upcoming major home renovation, and how squirrels can sometimes relocate crocus bulbs. Meanwhile, B and L have early release at school so they head to a kid’s play place as a special treat to B. ($23 with snacks)
3:30 pm: B is home early but, curses, I still have much work to do! He and L chill while I tappity tap for a while longer. I eventually wrap up, but will have to do more work over the weekend.
L wants to work in his shop for a while, so B and I take the bike to the playground. He is a very good friend at the playground, running around happily with a couple of 7-year-olds he’s never met and then, when they leave, chatting amicably with an 18-month-old and his parents. He periodically begs me to let him take his pants off so he can better pretend he’s in the pool. The answer is no, but he is shirtless, shoeless, and covered in “tattoos” (washable marker), and I think that’s a pretty good compromise.
7:00 pm: Back home, L is making dinner (avocado tacos!), and I announce to him that we need a few more spring items: new (unscratched) oversize sunglasses and a beaded eyeglass chain for me, and little kid Tevas for B. I use my dad’s Amaz*n to buy the glasses and chain for me ($20) and three pairs of Tevas for B to try on. They’ll only charge us for the ones we keep, which will be $21.
L and I spend the evening drinking the Morphos he bought earlier this week and hanging out with J and her boyfriend. We turn on the AC for the first time which reminds us that we need to get an HVAC repairperson out here to check out some weird details of the old AC system our inspector caught. I mentally add it to my to-dos for the week.
We get B in bed late again – around 9 – and we watch Schitt’s Creek til almost 11. We will never tire of re-watching this show.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $185.10
✨ DAY 5: SATURDAY✨
6:45 am: I wake up breathing easy today! Blessings, prednisone; blessings, springtime.
8:00 am: L and I make eggie toasts with heirloom tomatoes, and L reveals that he had a long-awaited budget chat with the medical hospital where he’s been getting dental work done. They’re estimating we’ll need to spend an additional $11k this year to get L’s teeth in order. This kicks off a Big Conversation, during which we realize we absolutely need to be spending less than $8k monthly in order to cash flow his teeth, cash flow our must-do house projects, and pay down our cards by end of year. This should be doable, in theory, but will be a big adjustment as for months we’ve been splashing out on everything from gifts to travel to furniture to tools to fabric to support my baby-clothes-making hobby. As the conversation drags on, tension rises, and we’re both mad at each other but not sure why.
After a few breaths, I realize: we are just launching big numbers back and forth across the room, completely unmoored! I offer to make us a big fancy draft annual budget with monthly projections and schedule a date night to review. HOW FUN! L obliges after I convince him that I actually, truly, want to do this, and I find a very nice budget template on Etsy. ($20)
10 am: I run down a hill and across a parking lot to yoga, and slip in some vom along the way. Meanwhile, L and B head to the gym together.
12 pm: I take our e-bike (the one we’ve been riding around all week) to the shop and tell the bike guy that the lights and the breaks are in rough shape. He tells me they’ll fix it up, but that we should consider replacing it with a Yuba Spicy Curry which is $5200. I think not, but in my heart, I do really want to sell this one and buy a RadWagon or a Blix Packa Genie. Ebike moms and dolls, send thoughts.
When I get home, L heads to Aldi and spends $125 on berries, lots of bananas, eggs, rice, oat milk, oatmeal, snacks for B, frozen berries, fresh broccoli, yogurt, and a bunch of other stuff including Aldi swag that he is very stoked about: a matching pullover, socks, and tumbler. He then goes to Ace Hardware and buys s’mores sticks for use with our fire pit and some light bulbs ($37). B takes a nap and I plant the berry bushes and cherry tree while he snoozes!
6 pm: We head out to dinner to celebrate the big move with L’s sister and her boyfriend. It’s a long walk to our favorite taco place, but a beautiful day. B rides his pink scooter and is very cute, but reader, he is a spirited child and today he is having A Day. We field multiple meltdowns and lots of not-listening on the way to the restaurant. Dinner itself is delicious, though, and we watch the sun set over the water as we eat. It’s $58 with tip for the three of us, including a coconut margarita for L and a watermelon sangria for me.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $240
✨ DAY 6: SUNDAY✨
5 am: Up and thinking about parenting. L and I had a long conversation after B fell asleep about what we could do differently to help him manage his emotions. He’s a big child in size and in personality – at 3 he’s wearing size 6 clothes and talking as much as any child that age too. He has big joy, big wonder, big imagination, and also big anger and big sadnesses. We’ve tried to follow Janet Lansbury’s teaching since B was born, but at times gentle parenting, which Janet teaches, has seemed too lax for B. I decide to return to her work anyway. I read the transcript to her newest podcast episode, and wonder if maybe we’re overengaging with B’s big feelings. Then I read this one about another child struggling with aggression, and am glad that B is at least not spitting, I guess?
10 am: B’s morning is going great after all, and we decide to pack a lunch and head out for a hike. B makes himself a ham, cheese, and hummus sandwich, and I make L and I veggie sandwiches with pesto. We happen upon a plant sale on the way home and L approves a “Fuzzy Mystery” peperomia for our bathroom. ($8) Afterwards we drop off my Nuuly at UPS (prepaid!) and head home to watch a movie while it rains. I do work things and start our new annual budget spreadsheet during the movie.
5 pm: J takes a walk with us and M the dog to a playground nearby, and while we’re out, our neighbor texts to suggest once-a-week family dinners on Tuesday (yes please!). For dinner tonight, I make Smitten Kitchen’s tomato sauce with onion and butter using the heirloom tomatoes from our CSA and it’s very good as always. L and I drink some Pinot with dinner, and B eats his spaghetti with his hands.
9 pm: My anxiety (her name is Esther) visits while I’m putting B to sleep, so after he’s down, I decide to get to the bottom of a few things via Google. As usual, this is a bad idea! I walk to bed crying and lay on L’s chest. I cry a lot more, including about the trailer for You Hurt My Feelings which I saw three days ago, and about how scary it would be if L were to die, and about how L’s parents’ best friends’ lives have never been visited by tragedy and is that possible for us too?
Therapy is on Tuesday, everyone! We will make it.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $8
✨ DAY 7: MONDAY✨
6:30 am: I wake up later than I wanted to after a fitful night. B was coughing a lot (post-nasal drip, ick), and I was thinking a lot. I have back-to-back calls today with lots of prep beforehand so I get dressed quick and grab a pre-made smoothie from the freezer for breakfast. B and L leave at 7:15; I light my Gardener candle and tuck in to work.
1:00 pm: Lunch is fried rice with a chonk of a Trader Joe’s milk chocolate hazelnut bar, yum. I eat on a call but politely turn off my camera.
4:00 pm: B and L are home and I’m still wrapping up. On the way home, they picked up some natural honey cough syrup stuff for B ($12).
6:00 pm: L and I drop B off at the Y childcare, and find out they are hosting a spring break camp for 3-5 year olds. L wants to build B’s long-awaited tree house over the break, so we sign B up for four days of camp. Very cute! And also less than half the price of other camps in the area. ($100)
6:15 pm: I check the NYT as I start up the elliptical and am sent reeling by news of the school shooting in Nashville. I try to distract myself with The Crown. Unfortunately, Princess Di is really going through it, so the distraction is a bust. I turn on Sarah Blondin’s Learning to Surrender meditation instead, and listen to it twice. I’m trying desperately to trust the universe but the hellscapeness of it all makes that difficult sometimes.
Life marches on anyhow: After our workout, we head to Trader Joe’s to buy the items Aldi didn’t offer over the weekend (fancy bag salad, plantain chips, challah, frozen greens, a Galia melon, a few other things), plus a lot more broccoli because we need it for the tofu and veggies we’re making with the neighbors tomorrow. I love this peanut butter tofu recipe, in case you’re looking for one. ($31)
8 pm: We three look at videos of baby B over dinner, and L says maybe he is ready for a second. I think I am too.
adrienne maree brown posted today,
put your attention on suffering – which is constant and everywhere – and it is all you will see. joy will come, and laughter, but you will find it brief, possibly a distraction.
put your attention on joy, being connected and feeling whole, and you will find it everywhere. your heart will still break. you will know grief. but you will find it a reasonable cost for the random abundance of miracles, and the soft wild rhythms of love.
return to love as many times as you can.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: $143
❤️ Section 5: TOTALS
Total Expenses: $1228.85
Food & Drink: $376
Fun & Entertainment: $130.85
Home & Health: $557
Clothes & Beauty: $101
Transport: $64
❤️ Section 6: REFLECTION
This week was spendy for us between the plants and the skincare routine – but I’d say we usually have at least one week a month where we spend like this, and that needs to shift if we’re going to pay for all the things we need to pay for this year without drawing from our life savings. I’m also aware that N’s student loan payments will likely resume, and that having a second baby isn’t cheap – so I’m excited to finish our budget spreadsheet and treat it like a goal rather than a suggestion (I currently treat Mint’s categories like unsolicited advice from an obnoxious internet stranger).
I do like what we spend money on though, and feel really very lucky. Thanks for reading!

There are numerous things to think about when determining what kind of property to buy, but the most important one is deciding whether you want a home or an apartment. There are several factors to take into consideration while you search for your ideal house.
It truly comes down to preferences and lifestyle, and we have shared our knowledge of the advantages and disadvantages of both, according to "Joe" Ricotta, an expert. "Depending on your budget, each comes with their own attributes and features that the other doesn't, so it really comes down to preferences and lifestyle," he says.
1: Maintenance
Prior to moving, there are many factors to take into consideration when deciding whether to live in a home or an apartment. Apartments set the standard for upkeep with their dependability and ease. If you live in a flat, any problems with water or electricity will be handled by the staff of the building.
Although there will be an extra yearly service fee, you will have the privilege of residing in a well-maintained structure, something you won't receive if you own your own home.
2: Amenities and necessary components
Consider moving into an apartment if you want to live somewhere with all the conveniences and facilities you need. Many urban apartments are equipped with amenities like a roof garden, a communal terrace, landscaped outdoor spaces, CCTV, coded doors, guarded entries, and even a spa or gym for tenants to use. Joe Ricotta asked buyers to think carefully about whether you want to set up these services on independent property because it will take more work.
While a homeowner may not be fortunate enough to enjoy all of these advantages, some of them include having a private garden, your own garage, a garden shed, and loft space.
3: Price of the property
See where you may get the greatest value for your money when deciding between an apartment and a house. Although apartments are often more reasonable than homes, in some upscale neighborhoods, such as London, you may find yourself spending more on a luxurious apartment.
'According to "Joe Ricotta", it's a popular misconception that buying an apartment is frequently less expensive than buying a house. However, this relies on a variety of factors, including the location, size, and number of bedrooms in the properties you're considering. 4: Before buying your forever house, think it over twice.
Make a strategy for how long you expect to stay in the property before making your decision. For instance, a house will provide you greater latitude when it comes to additions, making it simpler to stay put for an extended period of time.
As a result of the layout of an apartment often restricting the range of adjustments you may make, Joe Ricotta continued, “You might find that you outgrow your home over time as your life circumstances change.” It's crucial to think about whether an apartment will satisfy your demands over the long term. ity.

I have a honda civic 2016 and someone broke into my car by damaging the key hole of the driver's seat and I'm unable to insert the key anymore without the remote. I have full coverage with Progressive so wondering if claiming for the repair will affect my premium or since lock has to be repaired by party opening the door - my concern is if it would go on my carfax. Wanted to check it I should try calling the insurance or just get it repaired myself?

So our LG French door LMX30995ST refrigerator started leaking water from ice dispenser and stopped cooling. We bought it in 2014 from Best Buy. If the compressor is bad, which is the case with this model based on internet reviews, is it covered under warranty ( is it 10 years or 5 years). Is it common with the fridges to give out around 8-9 years?
We are also regretting not having a second mini fridge. Do you have any recommendations for a mini fridge and where best to place it ( garage or media room -2nd floor) . Thanks

I (15M) was abused sexually when I was 14 years old. I knew this lady at a place I used to live at, and I had known her for a couple of years after we moved out of that hell hole.
I was staying up late night doing stuff when I suddenly got a call from her. She called me, appearing to be drunk, and asking me what type of stuff I wanted from my old house since she'll be visiting our new one. We got into some stuff and sentimental value, and we have been talking for about half an hour at that point.
After that, she drunkingly admits that she had a crush on me for a while now. She told me that if I were old enough she'd let me hit. I didn't know what to say so I just nervously laughed, brushing it off because she was drunk. She went into more detail, she said that I reminded her of being a teenager and she liked that feeling I supposed. She wanted to know my favorite color and my favorite book, and after 15 minutes of this it got even heavier.
After a while of telling me this huge crush she had on me, she started showing me her stuff. She started asking me if I liked adult stuff, and to my "I don't know"s, she took off her bra, showed me her bra and showed me some other cleavage. I didn't want to see this because she was drunk, and again, I brushed it off. I wanted to look away but I don't know why I didn't. That night she showed me stuff on that call, when I closed my eyes to go to bed it was like my eyes weren't closed. I remember having the fucking image behind my eyelids, those wretched fucking angles she took of herself. I just wanted her out of my mind that night to go to bed but couldn't. I wanted to go to bed but was basically staring at her, I felt so bad because she was drunk. I felt like I was the abuser.
This went on for a couple of weeks before she had came to my place. It was whenever she was drunk, it took me about a week to build up the courage and ask what happened on the night of the call. She told me she regretted it, and she was embarrassed about it. I never made any advances, she was the one who would make those. I think it was a couple days after I asked her if she remembered that night, me and her were talking and I needed to take a shower. I told her that I needed to take a shower, she told me ok, then after I texted her I was done with this shower she asked me "did you think of me during your shower?" I was shocked but I told her maybe so. I think this was when I started taking a liking to her pictures and videos.
One video I remember her sending is that she was on her bed, and she didn't appear drunk this time by her texting and her face. But she was laying down, and pointed her phone behind her and started shaking her butt.
After these couple weeks of this happening without my mom knowing, my mom and I picked her up from a pick up spot with her boyfriend and she brought her two daughters along with a red skirt. I think she put the red skirt in the open because she was trying to signify to me that we were gonna do stuff. I just went home with her and my mom in the car listening to music while the baby was crying in the car seat. When we got home, she instantly wanted my mom to take her to get some beer at the store. I went to the store with them to grab beer, she got this 24 pack of some beer and told me to go away because I was underage and she didn't want to be seen with a 14 year old holding beer in her hand.
That night she came into my room, not drunk, and started talking to me while everybody was asleep. We started having a conversation about our families, how my family had a lot of underground connections and how she was a bootlegger for her family. I think the government banned access for native people, I don't know. But that night ended up with me laying on her lap while she was criss crossed.
I think it was the night after that one when she was making advances toward me. My mom wanted to have a party with another mom right next to us, and beer was involved. During the party she told me she would sneak beer for me when everybody was asleep. Well, everybody was asleep came around and she went up to my room then placed this god awful beer on my floor. It tasted so bad. But I mixed it with pepsi which made it better. Anyways that night went kinda bad.
I was in my sister's room which she borrowed, my sister wasn't in the room at all don't worry. But she told me to come to her room, and I lay on my sister's matress while she was on another matress and we start pressing feet together for fun while the kids went asleep, nothing sexual. But after that, my memories are scrambled but I think we went to my room and she started making advances on me. I refused because I wanted a condom, and she was insisting. Kind of forcing herself. I remember her telling me that she was on my period, but I told her you can still get pregnant and I kept refusing. She was pissed off and stormed into my sister's room, then texted me "do u even know what a period is". It took me a couple minutes and I mustered up the courage to go to my sister's room and apologise to her. She stands up and tells me "we're gonna have sex right now whether you like it or not."
I refused and told her that I didn't want to do it in front of the kids, but she kept trying to force herself. She goes to a particular spot in the room, points at the floor and tells me that we're gonna do it right there. I refuse again, I tell her not in front of the kids, and this is when she pulls me close to her and etches the words "I'll rape you and I bite hard" into my mind.
I escaped her grasp and went into my room, I had to go onto my phone for a couple of minutes to clear my head. I'm shaking when I write this, but I hear my door burst open and she pins me onto my mattress. We made out for a good five minutes until I prop myself better onto my bed to continue, and this is when she lays on top of me. She bit my upper lip hard, it hurt and she kept doing it. This is when she takes a body part out of my underwear, and then puts me inside of her. I pull myself out of her and tell her "I want a condom" but she repeats it back to me and keeps doing it. I eventually get her to stop, tell her again, and this is when she tells me that she slipped a birth control pill at lunch.
I hate to say this but this is when I agreed to have sex with her. I don't fucking know why and I hate myself for it because she was drunk. I feel like I am a piece of shit and I hate myself. But she got spooked because she said she thought that she heard people and stopped it.
For the next couple days we started grabbing each other in private areas, but we weren't talking dirty. I realized I was the only one talking that way when everybody wasn't around. The grabbing happened when people weren't around, too. My mom and nobody never knew about this.
The next time when we had sex came around, and it happened when she asked me to watch her kids while she was with the neighbors getting drunk. She told me she would pay me, and I told her that she wasn't gonna pay me and I could watch her kids for free. That's when she went silent and told me "you're a teenager you need money". She walked out of the back door and went to the neighbors. I watched her kids for a good ten minutes until my mom got pissed that I was watching them and went out then told her that she was the one who needed to watch her kids. She came inside while my mom went to her room, and at the door pulled me close to her and reached down my pants. We kissed and then it ended up with me on a couch, just being casual, then she comes up to me, turns around and pulls her pants down. I didn't know what to do but I told her that my mom was right in the other room and she needed to put it away, which she did.
But later we brought the kids up to my room, got them to sleep and then did it in my room. There was no hesitation from me this time and I liked it for some reason. I don't know why, now when I look back on it I just feel like I'm the piece of shit.
Her boyfriend is obviously not happy and after the court hearing or whatever it's called I heard rumors that he was calling me the rapist. When he walked out he was staring at me with a death stare. There are people supporting me, which is confusing because I feel like I'm the rapist here. And her best friend along with her boyfriend and his sister all think I'm the rapist, and who knows maybe more think that. I was hospialized thinking about this. It just tears me up inside because there are points where I think I was sexually abused and there are areas where I think I'm the rapist. It tears at my heart everyday and everything is just black and white to me. I can't enjoy my favorite stuff, my days are just bland. Story writing is the only thing where I haven't lost my love for. I don't know. I am both deeply sorry and not sorry for what happened to me.

This is by far the worst decision Supercell has ever made. The dev team has lost all sense of sense and I am absolutely appalled.
The X update quite literally takes X mechanic and changes it completely. I don’t know why they changed it the way they did, but they completely flipped the concept around and makes me hate it. I’m not gonna play some stupid game when everything is always changing every two years and I have to relearn how to tie my shoes!!
Additionally, X card added in X update is completely running the Meta with no end in sight unless it is completely reverted. The thought process behind X card had to have been “how can we completely screw up the gameplay and make this experience as terrible as possible?” I just can’t believe it. I’m not gonna play some stupid game I can’t win by using Pekka Double Prince like I have been for the last five years!!
That’s not all though, today they added a new special offer that sells 2 fire spirits for $12, which is $1 more than it usually is!! I’m gonna completely lose it, this is just criminal!! I’m not gonna play some stupid game when I’m getting scammed for something I wouldn’t even buy otherwise!!
And don’t even get me STARTED on the new X Clan Feature, I hate having to do new things with my friends it just sucks. I’m not gonna play some stupid game when I have to play with my friends.
The X Update is the final nail in the coffin for Clash Royale. This is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to the game. I don't even know why supercell thought this was a good idea. For some reason they all love him and it seems like I'm the only one who hates him. I absolutely loathe the sight of him, much more the mention of his name, and coincidentally they placed him at a desk in perfect view from mine.
I stare at the back of his head from across the office, sweat beading on my forehead from holding my breath for so long. I squeeze my fists with rage and can barely hold it all in. It's been weeks since he began the training process and now he's been working here full-time for the past few days. Unbelievable. All my coworkers and bosses are head over heels in love with him. They used to all talk to me. I used to be the one they wanted to hang out with after work, the one they wanted to spend their lunch break with, the one they name their infant children after. Now, it's all about X Update. What do they even see in him? Everything terrible about him is clearly written all over that smug looking face of his. He isn't a victory for player progress, he doesn't improve QOL, he doesn't shake up the gameplay in a positive way; he's a cowardly snake who rose to the top of the corporate ladder using nothing other than cheap lies.
My coworkers surround his desk now all having a huge group conversation. Look at them all, a bunch of useless piles of trash taking up space in this cruel world we share. X Update turns to many of them, trying to make sure he talks to everyone. For a split second, he turns to someone, and our eyes lock. Just for a moment. In that moment, I see a flash of something behind his eyes. But it ends as soon as it happens.
Finally, the work day comes to a close. The sun has already begun to go down outside. I pack up my belongings, shut off my computer, and head off. Outside, a crisp breeze blows past me, my surroundings beginning to become darker with every passing minute. I get to a bus stop and sit down, waiting for around 20 minutes, before one finally shows up. The doors open, and before I can get on, the driver turns the bus off and walks out.
"Out of service" she gloomily says as she walks past me.
Beta Minions think, slang we use around the office. Now I have to walk.
It's peaceful out here. The night is just getting started.
But then, I hear it. The loud roaring of a sports car approaching from behind. The closer it gets, however, the more the car slows down, until eventually it comes to a complete stop behind me. I stop and turn around, only to be greeted with a horrifying sight. In the drivers seat of the ford Mustang, sits none other than X Update. He steps out of the car and begins to walk towards me.
"I heard what you said about me," he growls, "Drew told me. How I'm some 'terrible' idiot who doesn't deserve his job. Just who the hell do you think you are?"
I don't know what to say. All this time, I wanted to confront X Update, to tell him everything I think about him. I didn't expect he already knew I hated him, nor that he knew exactly why. I especially wasn't ready for it right now. Damnit, Drew!!
"I-I'm not wrong, you are terrible for-"
"You're sticking to that word," X Update cuts me off, "'terrible', huh? You really think I'm that kinda guy? Haha. If only you knew. That doesn't even begin to describe me. For my entire life, the demons that have haunted my very soul have laid restless awaiting their chance to finally emerge. They have been passengers viewing God's gift of life from inside my body, all for the chance to be unleashed upon anyone who dares to cross me. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I experience the agonizing pain it takes to seal these monsters, but now, their time has come. You want me to be terrible? Fine, I'll show you terrible."
He walks back to his car, gets in, and drives off into the sunset, which has burnt the sky with a deep red-orange. I'm barely able to process what just happened. I continue on my way home.
I arrive by the time the sky has turned a pitch black save for the light pollution blanketing the sky. As I walk up to the house, however, things immediately seem off. The front door had been left wide open and all the lights are off. I run inside to find the entire place had been completely trashed. Furniture ripped and smashed, holes in the walls, and anything valuable far beyond repair. I shout out to my wife and son, yet hear no response. I stumble into the living room only to find a piece of paper neatly placed on the still intact coffee table. I pick up the paper and discover it is a note which reads: ”If you want them, come get them. No cops. -X"
I reach X Update's skyrise deluxe apartment in the city. Of course a pretentious piece of trash lives in a place like this. I bust down the door, ready to fight for mine and my family's lives, only to see X Update watching TV on the couch, his arm around my wife and my son in his lap. I get no reaction from them. I look at my wife.
"L-Louise?" I manage to stutter.
She turns her head to look at me briefly before turning back. "Oh, hey."
"Come on, let's go-"
"No, we're okay. X Update is being so loving that I think I want a divorce."
What? Wait, what did she just say? 28 years together just for her to suddenly now want a divorce out of nowhere? We've been together since high school! We went to college together, moved to Finland together, and this is how it all ends?
"What are you talking about? We're leaving now-" I try to say.
"Daddy be quiet! X Update is watching Back at the Barnyard with me and you're being loud. You never do. I don't wanna go home anymore."
I can't believe what I'm hearing. Sure, I'm not always there for my child, but we do spend a lot of time together! Why on earth does he hate me now? I stand there for a moment, in complete shock. What is going on?
X Update then turns his head to look on me, a horrifying, disgusting grin on his horrible face. He doesn't look away. He stares into my eyes and I stare back. I'm reminded of that afternoon, we locked eyes then too, just for a moment. But now, neither of us look away. We stare coldly into each others souls. What could Supercell have possibly seen in him that made them want him so bad? Why does everyone suddenly love him so much? How could a company that cared so much about its properties allow X Update to come from no where and completely ruin one of them?
Then it hit me. The reason it seems like Supercell is allowing X Update to get away with everything is because they actually want him to ruin the game. Of course. The property was never meant to last, its based purely on a concept with very little room for variety and little room to add onto and expand. After so long, the people who work with this property have been getting bored by the stale, repetitive systems at play. Of course they have, It's been nearly seven years since the property opened up. But what I've failed to realize is that this can't be something exclusive to the customers, but is experienced by the developers too! Working on the same things year after year has to be exhausting. They feel like they're at a dead end with no where left to go. They so desperately want to work on something else, especially the other properties which by design are significantly more interesting and engaging than this one. But they can't! The past success of this property has set the bar so high that they practically have no other choice but to continue strangling their customers for every last penny against their will! They want nothing more than to quit, but they're stuck. So their solution was to bring on this obviously destructive and unpredictable recruit, shoot him to the top so he could hire others like him, until they inevitably burn the entire thing to the ground.
It's not like they have any other option either. Despite this property receiving such little traffic compared to what it used to, there are still large numbers of people supporting the property. They want it to succeed and genuinely enjoy what it has to offer. If Supercell shut it down right now, they'd be met with outrage so severe that it could possibly reignite its former customer base to rally against Supercell and practically force them to keep the property open! And then, the employees would continue suffering for long after. But if they were to slowly but surely ensure that people begin to exit out of the property faster out of hatred for what the game has become, it limits the remaining days of the property's existence to become smaller and smaller, all the while managing to maximize its profit while they still can by practically convincing people to spend more money. It's genius.
I remember coming across the property for the first time. I was much younger and had no developer experience. I loved what I saw and thought the absolute world of it. I had so many good times with it. I cherish those fond memories and hold them close to my heart. It doesn't matter how much X Update takes away from me on Supercell's behalf. I will always have those memories of the good days. Even if the property gets shut down now, at least I can remember the feelings from those days and smile. It was a good run, but now it's time for me to move on. I still have so much life left to live on this planet, I should be looking at new things, having new experiences, meeting new people! Not holding on to a sinking ship.
I smile at X Update. A genuine, heartfelt smile. He can take my family, my friends, my work; but he'll never take my memories.
"Goodbye," I say.
And the Pass Royale features are absolutely horrible. I hate how they took out the free X reward that requires a lot of playtime to earn and put it in the paid pass. What absurdity. I'm not gonna play some stupid game when the developers are almost begging me to give them their money!!
Dead game, I hate Supercell, I'm never playing this game again. I had fun while it lasted.
Edit: I've been bored at work, I'll probably go back on just to see what's new, maybe play a few matches. But I'm definitely not coming back-full time.

So our LG French door LMX30995ST refrigerator started leaking water from ice dispenser and stopped cooling. We bought it in 2014 from Best Buy. If the compressor is bad, which is the case with this model based on internet reviews, is it covered under warranty ( is it 10 years or 5 years). We are also regretting not having a second mini fridge. Do you have any recommendations for a mini fridge and where best to place it ( garage or media room -2nd floor) . Thanks

Hello guys. Yesterday a tube from the garage where I keep my landy just cracked and landed on my roof. Nothing too bad but definitely a couple dents and a scratch. Anyone has seen any videos, tutorials where I can check how to work on repairing the roof top? Thank you.

An Arlington woman says she’s been living in fear in her own neighborhood since two dogs got loose and mauled her Yorkie to death.
Gloria Norman says she’s also frustrated at the slow action taken by the city.
The attack happened on Feb. 26, along Villanova Street in Arlington, according to police.
On Friday, March 24, Arlington Animal Services posted a letter on the door of the man who owns the dogs notifying him his two dogs, Rose and Jack, have been deemed ‘dangerous dogs’ after it was determined they ‘engaged in an unprovoked act which caused a person to reasonably believe that the dog(s) was going to attack and cause bodily injury.’
Norman says she saved the Yorkie named Coco from being put down by her previous owners 12 years ago and that Coco has been her constant companion ever since.
“She wasn’t just a pet, she was part of my family,” said Norman.
Norman says she had just returned home that Sunday evening after being away all weekend and wanted to take Coco for a walk.

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Coco loved walks and quickly ran to the door.
Norman says she was walking down Villanova Street in her neighborhood when she noticed a man in an SUV driving by slowly.
She says the man drove away but came back around with his driver’s side door open.
She noticed two large dogs running behind his SUV when they suddenly saw her and Coco and darted toward them.
“They were jumping at my throat, trying to attack me,” she said. “They got [Coco] and they were tossing her around like she was a little feather. It was both of them, back and forth, back and forth. It was devastating.”
She says neither she nor the dogs’ owner, who walked over during the attack, could separate the dogs from Coco.
Police responded but did not charge the owner of the dogs with a crime, as police are quite limited by state laws that focus largely on dog attacks on humans, according to APD’s spokesman Tim Ciesco.
Norman was not seriously injured in the attack.
However, she says she fears walking around her neighborhood, even tending to her yard out of fear the dogs will get loose and attack her again.
“They’re still here,” she said.
Norman walked NBC 5 over to the house where she says the dogs live and are currently being kept in the garage.
NBC 5’s Maria Guerrero could hear two dogs barking inside. Norman says she hears the barking from her home.
“It just brings me back and it terrifies me,” she said.
No one answered the door Friday afternoon.
According to the determination by Arlington Animal Services, the dogs’ owners have 15 days to appeal and 30 days to come into compliance or surrender the dogs.
In order to come into compliance, the owner will have to complete several requirements including registering the dogs as ‘dangerous dogs’ with the city, and restraining them in a secure enclosure inspected and approved by animal services.
They must also obtain or continue liability insurance coverage to cover costs in case of any future attacks.
The city provided NBC 5 with information dog owners in Arlington need to know:
“We all need to practice responsible pet ownership and ensure our pets are (1) contained (by leash, fence, kennel, etc), (2) pets must be vaccinated according to state law for rabies, and (3) you can be held responsible, either civilly or criminally for your pet(s) actions.”
In cases that are animal-on-animal attacks, the victim/owner can file civilly, but if a person is attacked and injured there are more stringent consequences.
Loose animals, aggressive or not, can always be reported to Animal Services. The department will help residents navigate the direction in which to go if things are escalated, as with this instance.”
Still grieving the death of her ‘furbaby,’ Norman claims the city is not doing enough to enforce laws and should take dog-on-dog attacks more seriously, especially in neighborhoods with children and schools nearby.
“It’s going to take death for them to do something,” she said.
For more information on requirements for the owner in a Dangerous Dogs case click here.

Hi everyone, just made a throwaway for this, hope it's in the right place.
Just after some advice for regarding claiming compensation at VCAT.
Basically, our lease started 6 weeks ago, the REA entry condition report didn't list any issues, there were a number of issues which I went through and recorded with pictures and video.
While doing this I noticed mould in a number of rooms, issues with doors not closing properly (I suspect they have warped due to water damage), cracked tiles in the bathroom, and external windows without proper locks. I returned the entry condition report letting them know the issues.
After going through resources on Tenants Victoria and Consumer Affairs Victoria I learnt that the new minimum standards include the property being free of mould at the start of the lease, and require appropriate locks on all external windows. Also that these are considered urgent given the property does not meet the minimum standards without them.
The REA were difficult at every turn but after lodging a breach of duty notice they started to take it more seriously.
Though are lease has started and we are paying rent, we have not moved in due to concerns over the mould on our health.
Once the repairs are complete I was going to request compensation from the REA, based on
65A(1)–premises do not comply with minimum standards and
70(1B)-not provided window locks.
I was going to argue for compensation of the rent we have paid from the start of the lease until the property meets the minimum standards (which it should have at the start of the lease), claim for the costs of keeping our things in storage while we have been waiting for the issues to be addressed, and for our loss of quiet enjoyment of the property, due to not being able to use it.
Just curious if people thought this was reasonable or if I was over-reacting, how VCAT might view this if we end up there, and how best to calculate an amount for the loss of quiet enjoyment?
Thanks
Look after each other

Hello everyone. Last week I had a large bi folding bay door quit working. The vfd shows a fault for motor short or ground fault. I can hard reset (unplug) the vfd and it will work again but only for a short period of time. When I went to remove the motor from the gear box, about 3/4’s cup of water poured out from where the terminal block is located. I tested resistance of each terminal to ground, they all read infinity. Then when checking resistance between v1-v2 I got 8, W1 - w2, I got 3 and u1 - u2 I got 3. When checking them against each other, they give slightly different readings such as w1-v2 =3.2 w1-u2= bounces around W1-w2 = 3 V1-v2 = 8 V1-u2 = Hovers around 11.9 V1-w2 between 12 and 12.9 I stopped testing at that point because I felt the motor is a lost cause. I just wanted to run this by someone with more knowledge than myself to get their thoughts about it. I haven’t tested the vfd yet but probably will when I get in this morning. Any knowledge is greatly appreciated, thank you for your time.

This winter I have had a few deliveries that were unsafe / uncomfortable / difficult. I am in decent shape and not afraid of hard work or anything like that and doing IC is not a difficult job, however there have been some situations where I felt things were unsafe.
The first time was a guy who ordered a whack of tea. Six bulk boxes of loose tea. I go to the house and knock on the door to be greeted by an old lady who explained that the order was to the side entrance. I look down the side of the house and it is all ice. I left it halfway down the side of the house and messaged the guy saying I safely couldn't go any further. He was the no tipper on a double and left me a 1 star review for it.
Another one was a liquor delivery to a house. They had not shoveled or cleaned their walk way or driveway. It was a good 2 feet deep with thick ice on top of it. I had to go up the neighbours driveway and walk across the side lawn to get to their door. The whole front porch was ice too. The house stunk inside and I doubt they had left in weeks.
Another regular order with two cases of water. His apartment was on the 4th floor with no elevator. He REFUSED to come down and open the door for me because I was at the back of the building in the loading zone and not at the front of the building where there was nowhere to park. I had to call IC to get on the phone with him in a 3 way because he refused all of my calls and messages asking to be let in to the building. I had to threaten to return all the items to the store if he didn't come down and unlock the door.
The last one was today. I did a Costco order with two cases of water, a case of Pepsi, a case of Monster and a case of Arizona Ice tea. I get to the house and the request was to leave at the front door and not garage door. The only problem was the very steep and thin stars on the stairway going up. It was a good 30 steps with a small landing that turned 90 degrees. I have bigger feet and my heels hung off each step on the way up. Doing that 6 times with groceries once and each case once, really put oddly placed stress on my knees and front of my feet.
Talking to my wife today she expressed concern about unsafe deliveries. What do you do in these situations? Do you contact IC about it and tell them that it is unsafe? Do you just deliver it the best that you can like I have done? Do you leave it wherever and let the customer figure it out? I'm just trying to find a happy middle ground where I am not being unsafe, but also not pissing off the customer for a bad rating or getting in shit with IC for not doing my job.

Hey, I bought a used CX5 (2020, AWD) couple of months ago and I recently got the 'bulb monitoring' warning sign on the dash.
On getting it checked at a local garage (quite trusted ) they scanned and found the issue is with the - AFS/ALM (Adaptive Front Lighting System/Auto Leveling Module) and that both the left and right swivel actuators aren't working.
( Error Codes B10A3:86-08 Left Swivel Actuator 2.B10A4:86-48 Right Swivel Actuator 3.B10A4:87-8A Right Swivel Actuator )
They say the only option is to replace both the whole headlights even though they are both working except for the auto levelling feature. This would cost a bomb, considering they're working all well.
I could we'll ignore it and go on; but I am thoroughly annoyed by the fact that something that expensive can't be repaired?. Anyone had previous experience with this or do you have references of any trusted Mazda specialist mechanics/garages in Dubai?
P.S- Don't say "go to the official service centre"; they are the absolute worse and just there to give expensive quotes!.

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A god's secret name holds the key to their deepest powers, and speaking it to their face transfers that power to the speaker. Isis once tricked Ra into revealing his secret name, giving her his powers and making her the most powerful goddess in the land. This precedent still stands for all time, as the power of the gods lies not only in their secret names, but also in the courage of those who claim it, even if they are otherwise a fool.
-RV. Chronicler of the Kenoma.
Once upon a time, as I crouched down to clean the kitten litter boxes in Madam Zoe's cluttered garage, I heard a loud buzzing noise coming from my smartphone. I paused and checked the screen, confused since I had music playing that should have overridden all notifications. An emergency broadcast was flashing across it. On the screen, I saw Ra, the Sun God. His shimmering golden fur glowed as he stood on a space chariot with billowing golden sails trailing out behind it like the sun itself. Alongside him were Set, the God of Violence in the form of an indigo lion, and Bastet, a pink Abyssinian Cat Goddess of Protection. The three of them were locked in fierce combat with a monstrous storm of green neon space dragons that swarmed around the solar chariot. Behind them, some impossibly large monster's wings blocked out all other light beyond the solar chariot.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was like some wacky TV show, but the graphics were so realistic that I couldn't help but be mesmerized. After a few moments, I shrugged it off and went back to cleaning the litter boxes. After all, the posters on the walls read "the Golden Rule of Goodness is this: save all cats and kittens!" And for me, that meant keeping their litter boxes clean and tidy.
Suddenly, a weird golden cat with spinning clock eyes appeared out of nowhere in the garage with me. I yelped in surprise and stumbled backward, knocking my head on a hanging light. Catnip bags came tumbling down on top of me, adding to the mess I'd already cleaned up. While rubbing the back of my head, the golden cat hissed at me. Despite its striking appearance, I couldn't help but think to myself that there was no way this cat was actually Ra. The cat had all of its hairs standing up, its back arched, and its sparkling crystalline fangs bared at me.
"Ra!" I hissed back at the cat. I reached out to shoo it away, but something strange happened. It let out a meow that sounded like it was about to speak words. Then, I felt a strange sensation as a sound wave rippled through the room. The lights shattered, and everything started to fly off the shelves.
A surge of warm electricity coursed through me. I didn't know what was happening, but I could feel the energy radiating through my blood and bones and tips of my fingers and toes. Meanwhile, the strange gold cat had dimmed to a dull orange and was throwing a tantrum, spinning around and tearing up bags of catnip before running out of the room and down the hallway.
I was left standing there, feeling like a bolt of lightning had just passed through me. I didn't understand what had just happened, but as much as I wanted to clean up the mess, rescuing the clock-eyed cat was way more important.
As I chased the cat down the hallway, I was struck by the intricate carvings on the walls. This hadn't been there before. Usually that was just a plain jane white hallway. I hesitated to wonder where all this stuff had come from, but shrugged that thought away as well. Egyptian iconography, long lost to time, adorned the limestone walls, depicting scenes of feline gods and goddesses. Anubis, the jackal-headed god of the dead, was shown weighing the hearts of the deceased against a feather. Bastet, the feline goddess of protection, was depicted with her claws unsheathed, ready to defend her followers against any who would threaten them. The hallway itself seemed to twist and turn in on itself, like a labyrinthine temple.
As I entered the strangely embellished cat lounge, I was struck by the cozy and inviting atmosphere that hadn't been there before. The walls were adorned with holographic images of Egyptian gods, their glowing forms seeming to dance and shimmer in the dim light. The air was filled with the soothing hum of advanced air filtration systems, keeping the space free of allergens and pollutants. The furniture was sleek and modern, with plush cushions and soft, faux fur coverings.
In one corner, a group of cats lounged on a platform adorned with intricate hieroglyphs, their eyes closed in contentment as they soaked up the warmth of a futuristic heating system. Another group of cats played with high-tech toys that emitted colorful lights and sounds, their playful antics made me smile and want to tumble down and play with them.
The space was a harmonious blend of futuristic technology and ancient Egyptian aesthetics, creating a unique and welcoming environment that felt both modern and timeless. I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe as I looked around, marveling at the beauty and ingenuity of the space while also wondering how I had not noticed whoever put all this stuff there.
At the end of the corridor, I could see a faint light emanating from a door carved with the likeness of Bastet. The door was made of a strange, shimmering metal that seemed to pulse with a faint light. As I approached and reached out to touch the door, I was struck by a strange sensation - it was as if I could feel the power of the goddess coursing through my veins. For a moment, I felt invincible, as if nothing could harm me. But then, as quickly as it had come, the feeling was gone, leaving me feeling empty and alone.
Despite my initial thought that the clock-eyed cat could be Ra, I knew deep down that it was impossible. The cat was too small, too ordinary to be a god. But as I looked around me at the ancient carvings and futuristic architecture, I couldn't help but wonder if there was more to this place than met the eye. Perhaps, in some way, the garage had fused with a temple to Bastet - a place where her followers could come to seek protection and guidance in a world that had long since forgotten the ancient ways.
The orange cat ran out of the room and headbutted a fire escape crash bar on a door. Fire alarm klaxons blared, scaring the cats to scurry all over the place. Above the blaring fire alarms and mewling cats, I could hear the distant music of a piano, bass, and violin in my earbuds fighting against the song of the sirens. Looking at the time clock on the wall to my right, I took a deep breath and said to myself, "I gotta save the Kittens. No matter what!" The excitement got my breathing a bit too fast. Electric tingles trickled up my fingertips.
As I caught my breath, I noticed my favorite teal hoodie hanging on a hook. It was the softest thing in the garage (other than the cats) and always brought me comfort. The intricate patterns woven into the fabric mesmerized me, reminding me of the veins a gentle, persistent stream bores into soil or stone.
As I clocked out, the monotone voice of the time clock reminded me, "You have thirty minutes for lunch, Aktaly." Sigh.
Stepping outside, I was greeted by a teal and violet sky that hung over an oil-stricken river lined with brambles and sycamore trees. The plastic trash balls that tumbled across the causeway leading to a broken bridge were an all-too-familiar sight. 3D printed coffin towers ate up most of Neo-Babylon's horizon. Each tower had solar-powered drone ports lifting cargo from them and buzzing like flies. Madam Zoe's wise, old face was painted along each tower, but the eyes were all scratched out.
It had been my routine on lunch breaks to explore the hidden paths around the old sycamore tree. It was easy for me to chase Kittens across a half-full parking lot behind Madam Zoe's garage. I followed him towards the riverside bramble of trees to a familiar spot.
The violet sun shone down on us like the light of Pistis, illuminating our path through the tangle of the old sycamore tree. Kittens stopped to chew on some soft teal flowers and golden mushrooms that grew out of the base of the tree. Madam Zoe had a song about these symbols of the goddess Inanna's power over nature. I plucked a few petals and mushrooms to nibble on and honor her as I settled down in my secret spot.
Mellow tones from pianos and violins distracted me as I searched for a song that would make me whole. One addiction had replaced another. Searching for a song that didn't exist kept me craving with no way to fix my fix. Some scabs felt better to remain perpetually fresh.
Five years ago, I had finally sobered up after rehab and started working for Madam Zoe, the greatest musical composer in Neo-Babylon as a halfway house kind of deal. I had been an assistant for the care of her music transcriptions ever since she had lost her sight. But, someone better inevitably came along and I was demoted to care for her cats and cars. I still wasn't sure how to make a difference beyond keeping litter boxes tidy, playing with the cats, and keeping them fed.
With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and let the music carry me away. For the next few minutes, I melted into the melodies and rhythms of a string adagio, feeling more whole than I had in a long time. In that peaceful moment, I thought about the song I had been dreaming of for eternity. The sounds and vibrations called to me, pulling me toward some deep, distant plane of existence. In this world, every face and facet held a crest or trough in the waveform that harmonized with the universe. I yearned to compose a song that would let me become one with everything. Whispers of this song would visit me in fleeting moments and right before I would nod off and out, urging me to unlock its secrets.
As Kittens approached me with a meow, I couldn't resist giving him some attention. "Look at you, ooooh!" I said, patting his head and ruffling his pointy, caracal ears. Kittens rubbed his face on my hands and crawled further into my lap. A warmth tingled from my knees to my elbows and right back down my spine. "See we can be friendly kittens."
Kittens let out a contented purr as I absentmindedly stroked his fur. My hands craved to flick a lighter or pop a topper, ever tempting me like an old flame. But I refused to give up control again. I took a deep breath of cool, fresh air and closed my eyes, listening to the rustle of leaves through sycamore trees and the soft adagio of strings.
Despite being one level above tone deaf, I had poured countless hours into studying and practicing music, determined to replicate the tones perfectly. As I reached for my synthesizer app on my phone, a surge of creative energy flowed through me.
But then, a deafening sonic boom shook the ground. Startled, Kittens leapt up, clawing at my favorite hoodie. As I cursed and tried to calm the frightened feline, a bloody slit opened up in the sky, revealing a portal to distant Bronze Saturnus and its icy rings.
The sight reminded me of Inanna, who had once traveled to Saturnus to aid its defense against the Marzans through a similar crimson star gate.
But this time, instead of a Goddess, a swarm of huge, shimmering dragons poured out, their scales reflecting the light of the violet sun. Behind them, I caught a glimpse of something darker and even more massive than all the dragons combined, looming closer and closer as if pushing the invaders towards us.
"What in the world?" I gasped, my eyes wide with disbelief. But instead of succumbing to panic, I quickly shifted my attention to something playful. "Kittens!" I exclaimed, grabbing the stray cat on my lap and cuddling him close. "Do you think those dragons like catnip?" I asked, giggling as I rubbed his belly. Kittens let out a happy purr, and I could feel my anxiety slowly dissipating for the moment at least.
The dragons soon answered my question with an onslaught of green lightning. Their beams sliced through the pale coffin towers at a 45-degree angle. But even as they wreaked havoc, I kept my focus on Kittens, determined not to let the chaos consume me.
The feeling of two fingertips rubbing against each other, that uncanny sensation of mirrored texture, billowed through the air, leaving a weight upon every single breath as if a ghost was getting close.
"Nope!" My bony behind scurried back out of the bramble branches with Kittens still in my arms. I pushed through the tangle, ignoring the cuts, scrapes, and bruises the tree and cat carved into me. My coping method wasn't perfect, but it had helped me avoid a panic attack.
In the parking lot behind the garage, a few dozen people were all recording videos of the dragons in the sky. I tried to look skyward but got all spinny and nauseous at the red slit widening in the sky and dripping with shimmering space dragons. I stumbled down right in the middle of the sidewalk. Kittens hopped away only to become mesmerized by the celestial sights. His little kitty mouth was even hanging open with a bit of drool dangling.
A bicyclist zoomed down the sidewalk. I looked up in time to realize they were about to hit the distracted cat! "No!"
I rolled into the path of the bicyclist to shield the poor kitty. The bicyclist ran into my back and crashed. "Watch out!" yelled the bicyclist once it was already too late, as their head smeared the sidewalk with a fresh coat of blue. Blue blood? Aye, yai. I shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms.
Spikes of pain bloomed on my face and back, scrapes widened as my body roiled. But I had saved Kittens! Oh yeah!
I jumped up and spun around with Kittens in my arms. Our happy moment was quickly interrupted by some people yelling in the parking lot. "Hey, hey, what the, where is my signal?" was echoed from the mouths of all the rubbernecking videographers.
"Down for you too?" said some dude.
"Yeah, why don't you fix it?" said a dudette.
Then, some hobo dude ran up and stole the other dude's bike that had crashed into me, "Haha, all you stupid phone people, your reckoning's come! We're all going to Kur, but not me because-"
Suddenly, one of the shimmering dragons landed in the parking lot, crushing cars and squashing people, including the hobo and his contraband bicycle.
Rather than roar, this huge diamond-scaled beast screamed toward Kittens, who approached the dragon without any fear and meowed right back at him.
The sight triggered my amygdala, and it blasted me with cortisol. I froze up, unable to move or think. I was lock-jointed while my lips pursed for a cigarette. My heart pounded in my chest. I realized that the invasion was just the beginning. The real danger lay beyond the portal, waiting to consume everything in its path. If the dragon meant us harm, nothing would have stopped it, but no, it screamed out in pain with
The sight triggered my amygdala, and it blasted me with cortisol. I froze up, unable to move or think. I was lock-jointed while my lips pursed for a cigarette. My heart pounded in my chest. I realized that the invasion was just the beginning. The real danger lay beyond the portal, waiting to consume everything in its path. If the dragon meant us harm, nothing would have stopped it, but no, it screamed out in pain with a sharp, crystalline grating scream.
The dragon's scales reflected the violet light of the sun and the crimson slit in the sky. Disoriented, I tried to snap out of it, to take action, but all my cortisol paralyzed me still. The ground shook violently as the dragon screamed even louder, straight up into the sky, as its brethren soared above.
Kittens ran back and hopped into my arms right as a rush of air lifted me off the ground. I braced myself for the worst, but then I felt the warm, scaly tail of the dragon wrap around me and Kittens, pulling us towards its jaws. I held the cat close to my chest, trying to protect him with my body as much as possible.
As we approached the dragon's mouth, I couldn't help but think of the old sycamore tree and how close to peace I had been in those moments. And how fast all of it had been torn away. But before my life could flash before my eyes, a familiar aroma distracted me from my impending doom: toasted bread.
I opened my eyes to see the silhouette of a person holding a bagel standing in a portal that floated in the dragon's mouth. A voice came from the portal, sounding worried and confused. "Oh dear, you look like her, but you're not her. Oh, dear, oh my, this is not good."
"Hey, you! What the hell is going on?" I shouted, hoping for some answers.
"Come, receive a chance that the rest of your species shall not. If you survive the procedure, that is. Bring her in, Pep." There was a beep-boop-bop, and then the dragon's tail reeled me in with smooth, mechanical cranking towards the portal.
I held onto Kittens tightly, assuring him that everything was going to be okay. But deep down, I knew that no one was going to come save me from this bizarre situation. As we were pulled closer to the portal, I looked up and saw a face beyond that I would never forget.
A handsome, saturnine man in his fifties, at least seven feet tall with five green eyes that had bronze pupils and violet flame-like irises in between two diamond spiral horns. He had red, leathery, rune-scarred skin and wore a golden bathrobe while holding a pumpernickel rye bagel. An aura of teal light shimmered an inch above his body, and as he looked down at me, I couldn't help but feel a shiver run down my spine and through every hair on my body.
I wondered what I had gotten myself into. The answer lay ahead, beyond the portal, and I had no choice but to refrain from having a panic attack and find out.

I want to post this here because I don't know where else to share it and I want to know if anyone relates. I apologize, it is massive. It is my first time posting on this board and I am under some emotional duress.
My family unit is basically five people, myself 30m, my older sister 35f, our biological father, our younger step sister 19f and our step mother.
I have issues with my older sister. Every time we're together there's inevitably a conversation that leaves me feeling horrible. I honestly feel insane typing this, like some part of me is convinced that I'm imagining it, or over reacting. But the most recent situation went like this, at a family gathering the day after a wedding, the five of us and my amazing partner, my plus one for the nuptials. Older Sister talked to me about my relationship with a semi estranged biological mother that I have worked to repair a lot of damage from over a decade and a half from a divorce. Her tone was accusatory,
she starts with a "mom thinks you hate her", I reply "I don't think mom thinks I hate her, I know I don't visit enough but-"
"then why don't you visit more, she thinks you hate her"
"I know I should, it's just a really, really, long bus ride and-"
"why don't you rent a car? You're an adult"
I am an adult, we had just spoken earlier, as a family several hours ago, about my difficulty finding a job after being laid off in January.
"It's still a long drive. I honestly wish Mom would visit sometimes" "It's only 2 hours, that's not a long drive and you're making excuses" "2 hours is a long drive for m-" "No it isn't"
My expression changes. I am now having a bad time. After a shockingly, inappropriately short amount of time, sooner than I could say a word, my sister immediately says "what? What are you glaring at me for?" And offers a vaguely remembered taunt about me being angry.
Mom visits me about once a year, I visit her once or twice a year, usually overnight. This is more contact than we've had in the past. I talk to Mom, she doesn't think I hate her. We have less issues than ever. It's still a sore spot, for who wouldn't it be? I can't functionally imagine a situation in which my sister doesn't know this will make me emotional. In fact, I think it transcends a personal emotional effect: this is rude. It's purpose is to inflict pain. If this is the story of a repeating cycle, one that always starts the same way is it foolish to think this?
I went into an incredibly blank state, all I could do was walk around. I felt like I couldn't speak, and sitting outside the gathering I see my step mom. She asks what's wrong, I reply, she says "I see" and goes back into the party. Later on, it torments me that I tried to share this with her and neither her, nor her daughter who I used to consider very close could simply knock on my door. Accused of "closing them off" I maintain: I was just down the hall.
I felt like I could see the future. What always happens, happening again. Eventually I'll talk to my father. I just can't help it, it's very hard to contain, her words can cut me so deep. And every time he just acts like I'm a rude jerk for being upset. I don't need him to intervene, I've told him this when I apologize for being upset, i would be so helped by even condolence. I've been begging at this altar of paternal affection, I'm here to tell you: there is no God.
During a family dinner a year or more ago, the five of us, my sister complained about anxiety symptoms and I offered a suggestion: a combination therapy and anti anxiety prescription. I'm not a doctor but that's not the point: I was sharing it along with the information that it had worked for me, the first time I had told my parents I had even done therapy, frowned upon by our them, I thought this offering of information would help ease her fears about seeking treatment.
She responds, loudly and in tears "I don't need therapy, I don't have anxiety like you, I'm autistic you fucking asshole"
I feel the need to share this: she has used "autism" as a get out jail free card many times.
She cries and goes upstairs, the dinner continues silently. I ask my father if he thinks that reaction was warranted and he has no response.
"I don't know, you're being dramatic. Besides, I don't know what you want me to do"
I don't know what you want me to do. Ive heard that sentence a hundred times. The solution can not come from me, because then he can do it sarcastically. It's happened before. Words of comfort. I have told him this, how a simple "I'm sorry about that and I don't think you deserved it" would be an entire world.
This most recent time, after the conversation about our mother, I found myself in such a depression, I didn't speak for the rest of the day and just kept my head down in my room.
The next morning when she was out I said something, I could feel my blood pressure rise and my body tense as it almost unwillingly slipped out of my mouth.
"[Sister] lectured me about mom"
The eye roll I received made me want to die. Complete rejection, disappointment in a look. "You do this every time" he says. " why do you have to be all moody?" He sneers. But I've told him why, we had this conversation today, 8 weeks ago, 4 months ago, a year ago, 2 years ago. We have this same conversation, me andy father, and when he responds he always says "I don't know what you want me to do", the tone completely dismissive. This time I say it together with him, in unison, to make a point. I've heard it so many times, and all I want is for him to show the level of interest to offer me any condolence. He knows this, and it would be easy to just put an arm on my shoulder and say "I'm sorry that happened to you" but it never happens, the point is clear: I am being disruptive, and that itself is the problem.
My father is an Olympic champion of dismissal. On one family trip I was having a hard day, my older sister making many repeated small comments, criticizing looks, intelligence, morality etc. My parents, father and step mother, pull me aside to tell me that it's because in the conversation over breakfast I had referred to myself as the "athletic child" and that she had taken offense to that, as it means I called her fat. In context, my comment earlier in the day was a joke about my own athleticism: "I got all the athletics genetics" I jested, after all I had a couple semesters high school tennis and I enjoy jogging. We were a trio of very nerdy kids, unathletic kids. Im skinnier than my sister, we do not have the exact same build, but I didn't think she's overweight and I have never, ever, in my remembered life made a comment about it, disparaging or not. My sister shouts at me, red faced, as I am in line at an outdoor restroom "Owen! Move! You are always in the way!" My crime? There were people behind and I was taking a too long to figure out the coin operated bathroom door (you have to put the coin in the slot. Still, rare to see). Privately I become upset by the days events and let slip a phrase in anger "shes been yelling at me since high school", a strategic blunder as my father now pretends I'm actually angry about something that happened in high school, and he can successfully play it off as A, a ridiculous long time grudge that I'm being horrible and holding onto and B, denying knowledge of the situation. He tells me I should "save it for my therapist"
My sister gets back to and the conversation is dropped completely. The rest of family talks to my older sister as if nothing has happened and I follow like a silent wounded dog on the days activities.
I am not addressed by any member of the rest of the group trip, besides my always loving partner, who my family talks past me to speak to about anything. My dad waits a few hours to ask me a casual question, about some boat he saw, I respond in quiet, defeated, embarrassed, impotent anger "that's what you want to talk to me about?" And he resumes his previous eye roll. He takes the same dismissive voice "oh, you're still upset."
I simply have lost the spirit of it. My stomach and back feel tremendous pain from the stress, I go nearly comatose. I cant eat, I can't hold onto water, and I spend the rest of the day, luckily that same day, shivering in the bedroom of an air bnb, being held by my supportive partner, waiting for our flight. I am in emotional ruin, I've explained it so many times I've lost count but: every time this happens I feel the effects worse, like it kills a larger part of me.
My partner and I avoid talking to them. I have nothing to say. I look at my father like a stranger, so indifferent to anything, so willing to plead ignorance "how was I supposed to know you were being upset" He'll say.
We call and Uber and move to sneak away. I make a weak goodbye. "That's sad" my father says, barely looking up."
"You're a selfish, spoiled child who doesn't deserve any of this" my step mother responds. More context: I have crossed the state in a blizzard to take care of this womans pets after her original sitter, my younger step sisters boyfriend, had to suddenly leave them adrift mid vacation, with no one to feed the dog and cat. She later bought her daughters boyfriend a car. They put a down payment on my sister's house. But I'm spoiled, because they have done the pitiable charity of including me. I tell her I never want to hear from her again. You won't, she responds. I offer a final Fuck You, she returns it. I leave.
I imagine their reaction to reading this. Poking full of holes "it says recently, but that vacation was technically a year ago" they'd immediately, bluntly state.
I do not offer this sentence, full dissolution, lightly, it is not common. I understand the pain of being disconnected from family all too well: my father's father has disowned him, and, in a letter addressed to "resident". It is an early, defining memory of mine. I was too young to understand the reasons, if there were any, I still don't know. The only times I've brought it up came after equally miserable conversations. It came from me as an offer, a plea that I have to, in any way I can, claw away from this miserable maelstrom of rejection that eats me alive.
I've never felt I had the strength to follow through on it, I am so needy. I despise my weakness immensely, that I crave their approval, the comfort of something I'm so held at arms length away.
But now, writing this, here, it feels like a light. A chance for both parties to forgive, and heal, and not keep opening wounds and I think maybe I understand my grandfather a little. Maybe it's not unimaginable this would be for the best.

Mechanic repaired rear tire puncture. The car door sticker says should be 200 kPa/29 psi, actual pressure is 275 kPa/40 psi, understand higher pressure gives firmer ride & fuel economy. Seems mechanics always pump higher pressure, but should it be that much higher, I thought 10% higher is reasonable ? Want to get an understanding before talking to the mechanic.

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I no longer work for the dealer, but have done hundreds of EMP’s. I have a customer who had his SCR cat stolen. He has not had the the EMP performed (his van gets the SCR, Nox sensors, update). I’m not going to charge him for a repair that the dealer is going to replace anyways for free! I sent him to the dealer. They will not perform the recall due to SCR and downstream nox not installed on vehicle. I understand it’s protocol, but imagine what they are asking us now. Buy a new SCR cat and rear nox sensor. Install for ~3k parts and Labor. Then they immediately tag and replace new SCR Cat and sensor with another set. The perfectly good parts will be discarded because MB desk Jockeys wants to see a part removed from vehicle. CAC has been no help, (as in the person on the phone isn’t even aware of what an EMP is) and Management tried to say they can’t perform AEM Also due to potential unknowns. What’s clearly unknown to management is that each van can get up to 2 hours paid out warranty for ducking around with problem EMP pre-inspections. So they are just trying to shoe us out the door. Has anyone dealt with this situation and how did it go?
My pride is kicking in. I see an awesome opportunity for my business. I’ll pay for the repairs to be done at the dealer, have this repair performed on film and tag MBUSA in it. Say something cheeky like, MB doesn’t care for you, I do. The Best, or something. I think it would land 😅
I feel like if a higher up just saw this situation for what it was, they’d let this one slide. I’m pretty upset about this situation, but maybe y’all may know something I don’t to set me straight. My customer is happy I’m standing up for them, but I need to prepare for a losing battle. Please advise 💜